Bullied/Undermined at my job how can I handle this?

Z

zookmaster

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Joined
Feb 20, 2014
Messages
19
Location
England
#1
I already suffer from anxiety so having to watch my back all the time can be draining. I'm one of the best if not the best workers, my job needs strength and size not many have it but I do. They call me for things they might have trouble with, with other things they almost imply I'm not doing my job properply. The main boss started **** telling me I was standing in the wrong spot etc etc. Sometimes I will walk in the room and they all act like I'm not there despite being more experienced at the job.

Another guy steps in front of me when I'm dealing with a customer and takes over while turning his back to me. The others follow of pattern of telling me what to do although they are not supervisors and generally they don't listent to my input. I make the job look easy they struggle and want all the glory. Always walking in with my guard up it's happened in previous jobs in the end took a toll on my anxiety and made depression worse for me.
 
Hopefuloldie

Hopefuloldie

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Nov 30, 2018
Messages
139
Location
UK
#2
Sounds like you are at best being undermined, if not bullied. You need to protect yourself to make sure that you can deal with this without overreacting, otherwise, they will have won. Is there anyone at work you can trust to talk to about this? Trade union or HR department?
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

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Jan 12, 2019
Messages
713
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Minnesota, USA
#3
You are too nice. Some people take that as a weakness. Be firm and serious. Have one on one talk with your boss and explain to him what’s going on. Tell him exactly how you feel and how uncomfortable and unhealthy the situation is but don’t show any weakness.

If they ask you for help next time just tell them you can’t do it otherwise you will be seen as not doing your own. If they complain to your boss just tell him which job does he want you to do? Yours or you coworkers’?

Treat them the same way they treat you until they change their behavior.

I had a situation with a nighbor when I moved into a new neighborhood. The first time he complained about something I apologized and was very nice to him and showed him respect because he was older than me. Few days later, he was standing with his big friend next to my yard fence and I saw him throw leaves and branches in my yard. I was so angry 😡. I ran outside with a baseball bat and told him don’t ever let me catch you or any of your friends near my property.

Since that incident, he was the nicest guy that I’ve ever dealt with to the point he shovels the snow to make a space for my trash bins behind my garage which happens to be in front of his garage 😁. But I am too respectful and my morals and principles don’t allow me to continue see him do that. I told him he doesn’t have to do it. We’ve been good nighbors since.
 
RookieatBest

RookieatBest

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Jan 7, 2019
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141
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N/A
#4
What you do is deal with them how you would normally deal with someone who is being disrespectful to you. By being respectful toward them but letting them know that you're not going to tolerate being bullied. Don't let them take your job or your dignity or let them manipulate your emotions. Try to ignore the jealous haters by doing your job and being yourself. Do you feel as if you can report these problems to the board?
Always be ready for battle in every way possible. GL GB BS!
 
Z

zookmaster

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2014
Messages
19
Location
England
#5
Even the boss is a wanker. The issue is the know full well I'm capable and confidet but try bringing me down.
 
R

Ramson bangers

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Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
1,027
Location
England
#6
I am lucky to be in a job where i am able to ignore any negative energy. I mean the bosses respect you if you do your job. Sounds like you are dealing with a shower of wankers who might be jealous or envy you for some reason. 2 options fight or flight. What are the consequences if you stand up for yourself? Can you remain calm and proffesional and deal with this in the correct manner? And finally is it worth the aggro if you did. Im not for letting people walk all over me but on the other hand a new challenge might be refreshing for you, meet new people and just be happier in general. You might look back and say im glad i got out of that shithole.
Ps retail is full of arselickers and bullshitters, the higher you go up the more there are unfortunately.
 
U

Umbrella

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Joined
Apr 12, 2019
Messages
11
Location
Texas, U.S.A.
#7
I have Asperger Syndrome and have a lot of experience being bullied.

If I were in your place, I would ingratiate myself with the rude people -- like saying "Thank you for helping" to the person that stepped in front of you to talk to your customer.

Meanwhile, I would apply for work elsewhere.

Why? (1) Responding by complaining, although you would be right, will make things worse in a lot of ways. People like that are experts at finding ways to give you grief, from acting even worse in the future to falsely reporting to a supervisor that your work is not good enough.

(2) You cannot change bad people. They do not know how to feel sorry for doing bad things. But you can change your circumstances by switching to a place where it's happy and upbeat rather than competitive.

The negative culture that you described, how widespread is it? Your specific workplace only, your whole industry, or your whole region of UK?

I used to live where road-rage was commonplace. Now I live in a different part of my country where most people say 'please' and 'thank you.' And I haven't been tailgated yet. (God, I hope I didn't just jinx myself.)

Good luck. :)
 

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