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Bullied at work

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Doxii

New member
Joined
Dec 13, 2014
Messages
2
Location
Kent. United kingdom
Hi everyone

I'm new here but I really need some help.

To give you some background I've been a manic depressive since I was about 14 years old. As I was getting older I attempted to end things a few times until I realised something was obviously not working so I just tried to carry on with normal life even though it was hard.

I've been working for the same company for the last 7 years. There is a woman that started a couple of months before me. She's the band above me and we got on quite well at first. We'd talk about all kinds of things.

That was until she started using stuff I had told her against me. I'd never told anyone at work about my depression as I was managing it. But when she kept bringing stuff Id talked to her about my depression started getting bad again. I didn't say anything at first but it was becoming noticeable that this woman would affect the office. She's one of these over bearing very manipulative women and if anything was said about her behaviour she would literally lose the plot and scream and be horrible to everyone.

Over the years she's got very spiteful and even worse. Then she started specifically on me. Having ago at me every chance she could get. My work was being affected because of it. I spoke to managers about it but nothing was ever done. I was told that it was her personality and to just ignore it. Well that's easier said than done when the woman's in your face 7 and a half hours 5 days a week.

Anyway, last year she got extremely bad. I put my notice in because of it. My boss talked me out of it saying jobs aren't easy to find so let me take it back. She's got progressively worse since then. Every time I ask for days off I get questioned why I need it. And there's usually a problem with it with her but not my boss or the other people in the office.

Then this week I needed to take an emergency day off to take my Aunty to the hospital as shed had an accident. The day after I went back to work she called me into my office and verbally attacked me saying my priorities should only be my work and not my family and not myself because it's selfish. I broke down in tears. I reported it to my boss and she asked her to apologise and instead she just kept the whole thing going infront of the whole office. Including asking if I was still crying about it. She did it for days after. Each morning after I was having bad panic attacks before going to work and I couldn't focus on anything.

Yesterday I went to the doctor and she signed me off for 3 weeks with depression and stress at work and since she's been sending me horrible messages and badly about me to other people in the office.

I don't want to go back. I really need advice.

Doxii.
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,044
:welcome: to the forum.

I'm sorry that you have been treated so badly at work.

This person, IMO does sound like a right bully who is so bad that even the managers are scared to approach them :(.

There is no way that she should be sharing things that you have said to her in the past, that is extremely unprofessonal and that is a understatement.

Confronting you about things in front of other people as well and the messages she is sending you. Please, please keep those messages.

Has your work got a HR/Personal department. Your next stop when/if you feel ready is to go there. Also can you please go and seek out some advice about this. It is not a healthy place to be in at all until the toxic is stopped or removed. I personally think that you shouldn't go back if they are not willing to deal with her and I don't think I have ever said that to someone on here before.

I am so angry for you, I really am.

Please take care.

Marliee x
 
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Doxii

New member
Joined
Dec 13, 2014
Messages
2
Location
Kent. United kingdom
Hi Marlowe,

Thanks for commenting.

I am definitely keeping the messages coz they prove in some way her attitude towards me.

I am not someone that can usually put voice to my problems. I can write about them but it physically makes me ill to try and get things out. I usually end up saying what I think people want to hear. That's kind of why I don't want to see my boss because I know ill just end up agreeing to back and it'll just got back to the way it was before I left.

I have no confidence in my boss/hr/ or any of the directors. They'll push everything under the carpet and I'll be made to go back. And I can't do that and keep my sanity. I'll end up going through a mental breakdown. If i haven't already I'd be surprised.

While I'm also signed off they have to pay me. If I just leave I'll get no benefit and no wages. I'll be screwed all because of her. Why should I put my family through that.


Doxii
I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
I'm sorry that I can't give much advice, but i'm glad you've got a break for three weeks.
I hope you can use that time to really nurture yourself and take it easy, and also try to ignore the antagonistic messages you've been getting.

This woman sounds truly awful. Thing is, you should have to give up your job because someone else is behaving in a way that's completely unacceptable. If anybody should lose out, it should be her. :hug1:
 
U

unit5

Guest
Hi Marlowe,


If I just leave I'll get no benefit and no wages. I'll be screwed all because of her. Why should I put my family through that.
I think you've hit the nail on the head. Why let this woman push you out of a job, especially in this economy? If you do that then she's won!

My advice is to keep those messages and if she doesn't ease off then get HR involved. I don't like HR departments but I think in this case they could help you. Apart from that, just do the best job you can at work so that your boss values you. This may sound a bit corny but having your boss onside is important if and when you decide to approach HR about this woman who is disrupting the work environment. Finally, remember that she's the one with the problem, not you!
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,044
Hi Marlowe,

Thanks for commenting.

I am definitely keeping the messages coz they prove in some way her attitude towards me.

I am not someone that can usually put voice to my problems. I can write about them but it physically makes me ill to try and get things out. I usually end up saying what I think people want to hear. That's kind of why I don't want to see my boss because I know ill just end up agreeing to back and it'll just got back to the way it was before I left.

I have no confidence in my boss/hr/ or any of the directors. They'll push everything under the carpet and I'll be made to go back. And I can't do that and keep my sanity. I'll end up going through a mental breakdown. If i haven't already I'd be surprised.

While I'm also signed off they have to pay me. If I just leave I'll get no benefit and no wages. I'll be screwed all because of her. Why should I put my family through that.


Doxii
I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.
Sorry, I've only just seen this. I understand about the just leaving. Of course I'm not encouraging to just throw your job away, I'm just thinking of ideas which will be the best for you health wise. If I was the manager I would of gone through the process with her and she won't be there.

Take care x
 
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