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broken hearted over breakup with my bpd

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Scorpio72

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Mar 16, 2015
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A week today I saw messages on my bf phone that proved he'd been cheating. I love him dearly and want him to come home but he won't respond to my texts. He got angry that I looked at his messages and is blaming me for the breakup. We've been on a roller coaster for 3 years and I love him dearly despite his love/hate attitude towards me. How can I fix this?
 

MarlieeB

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:welcome: to the forum.

I would say, in my opinion is that he's not angry about you looking at his texts (slightly annoyed, maybe) what he's actually angry at is the fact that he was caught. You weren't the one who done the cheating it was him.

If you really want to fix this (I personally wouldn't) then maybe a little bit of space is what is needed so you can both calm down and when things are calmer have a mature chat.

Take care

Marliee x
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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I agree with Marliee.

Personally, I would be tempted to focus my energy on moving on because it doesn't sound like he is the right person for you.
Cheating on you, blocking communication and projecting blame on to you are not signs of a healthy relationship.. but you have to come to that conclusion by yourself. It's no good me saying it, because I know how strong the pull can be to someone you love, even if they don't treat you right.

Regardless of what happens next, it is a very good idea to allow yourself and him some space.
Try to spend some time really nurturing yourself.:hug1:

I know it's hard but try to resist the temptation to do anything impulsive.
I'm talking from my own experience and so this might not apply to you, but I know that when I want to express myself but I haven't got the opportunity to talk and be listened to, it really enrages me to the point where I find myself getting a bit out of control.
 
Davey Blueeyes

Davey Blueeyes

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I agree with what the ladies say too.

Spend some time on yourself and try to start moving on. He's angry you caught him cheating and blames you?!

You can do better than that, trust me.
 
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Scorpio72

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Mar 16, 2015
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I agree with what the ladies say too.

Spend some time on yourself and try to start moving on. He's angry you caught him cheating and blames you?!

You can do better than that, trust me.
Well it's been almost a week since I text him and I've heard nothing..feel so lost without him..He really was my best friend. Trying to stay strong and focused..The heartache is unbearable. .just feel empty x
 
Davey Blueeyes

Davey Blueeyes

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Aww bless you. We have all been there and most of us will be again no doubt.

As cliched as it is, time is a great healer. Remember this man had been having sex with someone else, he totally disregarded your feelings and only got upset because he got caught. No contrition, no sorries.

You can and will do better and love again. Try to do mindfulness and spend some time on yourself in whichever way you want to. Good luck, you'll be fine. If not you can come back here and berate me!
 
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SaraT11

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Mar 23, 2015
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I found texts on my bf's phone too. They were highly sexual and hinted that he planned to cheat, I went crazy and ended it. Only to want him back a few days later! He said he was never going to act on it and it was just a bit of excitement for him. I knew some of the girls he had been talking to and felt devastated. But I love him and agreed to try work through it. That was 18 months ago, I've just given birth to our baby son. The relationship has been a roller-coater also. I can't think about him cheating again. I put it to the back of my mind and just concentrate on us. There is much less pressure and we actually enjoy one another, although I'll never forget what happened.
 
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