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Broken heart...it's my own fault...any help understanding a passive aggressive male please?

Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
4,250
Location
UK
I don't know his full story, I only know what you've said, but it sounds like he carries a lot of frustration and self-frustration for not being able to handle situations with you better. He probably knows he was literally inviting you to say 'I'm out', but he feels frustrated because he lacks the emotional tools to deal with situations regarding you better.

We've only ever argued once (about him seeming distant).

Our communication is normally exceptional. We're close - happy.

The only caveat to that statement is that I'm laid-back, understanding, good humoured - and consequently demand nothing.

He knows something has triggered that unusual response from me - but he's afraid or anguished at the prospect of finding himself lacking.

Strange really - he says he loves my 'self awareness'...but I never see that quality in him.
 
P

PaulDUK

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
78
Location
UK
I don't know his full story, I only know what you've said, but it sounds like he carries a lot of frustration and self-frustration for not being able to handle situations with you better. He probably knows he was literally inviting you to say 'I'm out', but he feels frustrated because he lacks the emotional tools to deal with situations regarding you better.

We've only ever argued once (about him seeming distant).

Our communication is normally exceptional. We're close - happy.

The only caveat to that statement is that I'm laid-back, understanding, good humoured - and consequently demand nothing.

He knows something has triggered that unusual response from me - but he's afraid or anguished at the prospect of finding himself lacking.

Strange really - he says he loves my 'self awareness'...but I never see that quality in him.
Perhaps he loves it as he's seen something you have and he doesn't and wants to encompass that and learn how to be that way?
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
4,250
Location
UK
If the relationship can only work if I have no needs or complaints - it can't work.

Maybe guys, I just tell him he's the love of my life and I didn't mean it.

And let the chips will fall where they may.

If he doesn't reciprocate - that's that...and it'll hurt less now than later down the road.
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,027
We've only ever argued once (about him seeming distant).

Our communication is normally exceptional. We're close - happy.

The only caveat to that statement is that I'm laid-back, understanding, good humoured - and consequently demand nothing.

He knows something has triggered that unusual response from me - but he's afraid or anguished at the prospect of finding himself lacking.

Strange really - he says he loves my 'self awareness'...but I never see that quality in him.
Sounds like you've got something worth fighting for then.
 
voyager

voyager

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 24, 2013
Messages
5,282
Location
Parallel Universe
Lunar, I’ve just seen this, will get back to you when my brain starts to function and can give you a decent reply hun ❤
 
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