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Breakup with boyfriend

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tenderart

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Apr 2, 2021
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Liverpool
My bipolar boyfriend of year and a half broke up with me through a message and blocked me. I am lost for words to express what I feel, as well really struggling with deciding of what to do now. Although there was nice, short break up message, it did leave me with lump in my thought and not being able to express myself as he blocked me.
I am heartbroken is the least I can say. He does have a history in the past of drawing the line and moving on, but we had what I thought open communication relationship and we agreed on honesty no matter what. I am struggling with I had no opportunity to say what I think, or feel, or say goodbye, say anything at all. I don't understand why he did this, because he is ever so thoughtful, kind, compassionate and so much more...

Since covid started he has been struggling significantly and I have been extremely supportive with everything, some would say maybe more than I should. We had great relationship, open and honest communications and we hid nothing from one another. It felt like though we were stuck somewhere, and he felt like covid held him back as all the creative groups were shut. We both are creative people, and it seems that this situation had impacted more significant on him though. He felt isolated but trying to make new friendships and socialise with people which I understand he needs, and I never held him back for that matter.
In the past month he tried to break up with me, not once but twice and both times changed his mind after we spoke. Now he did break up with me and blocked me. I am struggling with my own feelings of unclarity, abandonment, loss, grief.
My situation is more complicated than what I described above, but this is what I am mostly struggling with now and is impacting on my underlying other issues. Its awakening feelings of self-torment and self-sabotage within me, which I thought was well in control. It makes me feel like I have done something wrong, as there is no clarity, or explanation.
I am struggling to understand why he did what he did and what to do about it. I understand ultimately is my decision of what to do about it, but I appreciate all comments from people who struggle with bipolar I can receive, so I can have better understanding of how to go about the situation. I don’t know if I should go to his and talk to him, should I write him a letter, or should I just give him the space and see what happens?!

Thank you so much for reading this and sorry for the lengthy thread.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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He has obviously been effected by the lockdown stuff and not being able to socialize but has he seemed depressed to you? And given that you make no mention of it, I assume he hasn't become irritable or high energy in any way either?
 
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tenderart

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Thank you for your response. He is definitely on his meds and he is not manic. He is very self aware and I sensitively spoke to him about how he feels. He says he is not depressed, but I personally believe he might be leaning that way. I also think he might felt he needs to shake it off somehow and maybe that is also a reason why he broke up with me, like he needs space, but I have never been demanding about anything, so here is also where my confusion comes from. We haven't ever had a fight ...some people say that is not good either, but I am so understanding, that it might be getting on his nerves. He is irritable, sometimes, about covid related restrictions, how everything is shut and no access to anything he needs to access, but he is not violent person, and has never been aggressive that I know off.
Also we speak on the phone all the time and we spoke like nothing was wrong few hours before he sent me that message.
 
Prettyroses99

Prettyroses99

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Most of my breakups didn't have anything to do with them but instead it was me. Without a fight or disagreement I texted them, It's over between us.

I might have found someone else that was more interesting or they met my current needs. Buy me nice things, take me places, credit card to go shopping = new match.

My advice to you is to move on and leave him alone. I've gone to extreme methods to never see my exes and I doubt he would care about what you have to say or feel.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Sounds pretty typical for many out there then. He may be keeping some of his stronger feelings from you of course, many do hide depression and that is the liklier mood he'd head towards with the frustrations and restrictions. And it's true that you could have got on his nerves without meaning to because his world is so much smaller at the minute.
If you have any other way of contacting him you could always try to send a message saying that you're there for him if needed and hope he's okay and leave it at that. Then it's a case of giving him space. If he wants to be with you he will realise that pretty soon, if he doesn't then things would obviously be over. You're in a bit of a pickle in that you can't really be expected to wait for him to figure out what he wants to do, but at the same time if you move on and it seems like you've forgotton all about him (I don't know if he can still see how things are for you over social media or anything?) that might make him worse or think he did the right thing anyway.

If you have your own problems to deal with then you should probably just keep yourself well-managed for the time being and hope for the best. But what he's done isn't down to Bipolar, you'd obviously expect things to be a bit more extreme one way or the other if it was Bipolar rearing its ugly head.
 
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tenderart

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I appreciate your advice prettyroses99, but is easier to said, than done. I invested so much in this relationship and so did he. It's very confusing. I would have no problem and respect his wishes, but it would take to hear it from him actually. He is much more than a text message and block, which makes me worry
 
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tenderart

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Thank you wishbone, yes, I see and you are right.
I will let him know I am there if he needs me, he knows how to reach me.
We both don't use social media, so no aggravation can be achieved that way.
I guess it will be reassurance and the waiting game. Meanwhile concentrate on my wellbeing too.
 
Prettyroses99

Prettyroses99

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Do you have his mailing address or know where he lives? Write a letter and say whatever is on your mind to achieve closure. Mail or have a friend hand deliver it.

If you want him back or to ensure he reads it then put a lipstick kiss 💋 on the envelope. If you wear a perfume then spray the air, grab the letter, and allow the mist to fall on it. Don't spray the letter directly or you'll lose the subtle approach. There's a possibility he just needs some alone time. I have moments when no one or nothing can make it better.

Good luck
 
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tenderart

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Do you have his mailing address or know where he lives? Write a letter and say whatever is on your mind to achieve closure. Mail or have a friend hand deliver it.

If you want him back or to ensure he reads it then put a lipstick kiss 💋 on the envelope. If you wear a perfume then spray the air, grab the letter, and allow the mist to fall on it. Don't spray the letter directly or you'll lose the subtle approach. There's a possibility he just needs some alone time. I have moments when no one or nothing can make it better.

Good luck
Thank you prettyroses99, I do have his address and I do know where he lives. I will consider your suggestion. Thank you.
 

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