Break down

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taurus12

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#1
I just feel so frustrated now I don't feel like my usual self the person I was before these thoughts I want to go back to that me not this me.

Am I focusing on these thoughts to much is that why I feel sad and scared I tell my mum she says there just thoughts and not me i mean it's not logical these thoughts I have. I also got scared because I read other sites for help and they talked about urges how i have never had urges with pocd now I'm scared of getting them or developing them. What should I do I constantly check for feelings and attraction i feel like I'm going mad. And sometimes I think am I Brining on these thoughts myself . I'm thinking of things I have never thought before and it's just all so confusing. I feel happy but I get the thoughts at the same time so that confused me more am I just being happy and the ocd is just brining me down. Then I question do I even have ocd or is this the real me. People say don't fight the thoughts or images let's let them be but I'm scared of doing that because to me it feels so real so I try right but I'm tired of fighting.

Please can you offer your advice and answer these
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#2
Hi taurus, sorry you're having unwanted thoughts. It's so annoying and one does indeed get sick and tired of fighting with one's own thinking.

I use to say out loud, "STOP" or "NO" when thoughts strayed into areas where I did not wish to go. I try to stay in awareness and let the thoughts go. And meditation once a day seems to calm the thinking. Try the "STOP" method first.
 
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taurus12

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#3
Thanks what I'm scared of most is urges i don't have any but scared they will develope any thought?
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#4
Well, there's no reason to think your thoughts will turn into urges. You read that somewhere, right ?? Are we talking sexual urges here ?? Or violent urges ??
 
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T

taurus12

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#5
Sexual urges I'm just scared that the thoughts i have will turn into urges but I don't have urges and I'm crying a lot and I just feel like I'm not my regular self the person I was before the thoughts happend. I'm also worried that I'm thinking of these thoughts on purpose i mean I would sit there think of nothing then bam a thought comes like I'm saying it in my head im just frustrated i just feel so sad
 
Poopy Doll

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#6
It would help to know what these thoughts are. It would help you to express it out also. This is a safe, anonymous place to do so. Are these thoughts heterosexual, homosexual, S & M, pedophilia - - - -
 
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taurus12

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#7
Pedolia one i mean it's stupid I'm 18 I have never once in my life been attracted or anything to children i have always liked older men even in high school and it just feels like these thoughts are switching me
 
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IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

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#8
I had thoughts like that before. I never acted on them. You won't either. Your thoughts are not you! I suggest talking to your doctor about getting on a strong anti o.c.d. medication.
 
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taurus12

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#9
I can't help feel as though the more I focus on the thoughts the more there becoming real and changing me but at the same time I'm not fighting them is this safe or not
 
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IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

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#10
You need to fight them. Please talk to your doctor about that anti o.c.d. medication.
 
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IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

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#12
I was always told to fight it. Weird we were told different things. If I can over come it you can too.
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

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#14
If those thoughts disgust you then you really aren't like that. If you find pleasure in them then you are like that making it real. But I'm guessing you hate those thoughts? I hope. I tried to kill myself when I had those thoughts. They weren't me. They weren't real.
 
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taurus12

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#15
I don't like them I cry i shake my head to try get rid of them but can Ocd make someone feel like they like the thoughts
 
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IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

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#16
It may. But by the sounds of it I don't think you like them. That's good that you don't. Do you have a psychiatrist?
 
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taurus12

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#17
Nope I don't button scared the more I focus on them the more I will
 
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taurus12

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#18
Another thing is i can picture men and guys naked without shuting my eyes but when shut my eyes and try thinking of them that's when the thoughts and images get in they way like a wall and even if I do I feel happy but an image pops in my head so I think was it that image that made me feel good
. I do get tiny moments where I feel like my old self but then there gone. I'm just done fighting all of this I feel weak and exhausted.
 
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Orwell1984

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#19
See a doctor, get a diagnosis of what it is, you'll get treatment. We are not doctors. Just because someone thinks of children sexually, it's not always OCD.
 

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