BRAIN DAMAGE possibly

RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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well since psychosis i am a different person

is it possible i have had brain damage?

maybe a part of my brain wont work anymore?

i understand if i get no responses, i realise im a monster
 
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misssadness

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I am sorry you are feeling so bad. I have not had psychosis myself but I do have BPD and with that I often feel my brain is damaged as I simply cannot function like a normal person. I realise my post is no use but I did not want you thinking you are a monster.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Your not a monster.
I haven't suffered with same as you, although do often wonder when I had my meltdown, was something damaged in my brain, which means I can't do all the stuff I used to..
Unique1 xx
 
Gajolene

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When JD first came home ill with his severe form of scitzophrenia, he changed dramatically. He took a long time before he began to be comfortable with the changes he had been experiencing. But in the beginning his mind came up with all sorts of irrational explanations for his illness. Monster being one of them. People change over time no matter what. It's a part of the human condition and part of us all being uniquely different. We don't veiw JD as being ill so much anymore, we accept it is a mental health condition that may get worse and may get better as time goes on.
Even though in JD's mind he has never been ill and forgotten a lot of who he once was the person he's become is still a beautiful, good and generous person, regardless of his mental health condition. He accepts himself fully now and is a very happy and positive person even when symptoms make things frustrating. I'm sure your a good person too.

Don't believe it when your mind tells you these things. Like my signature says, Don't believe everything you think....:hug1:
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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thanks everyone

im not sure the people who matter in life can accept the different me. i cant go back to who i once was too much trauma has moulded me and i have no emotions anymore only anger or nothing. i guess things will never be even half normal anymore, everything has changed too much now, my only hope left is that mum dies peacefully so i can die myself

thanks everyone x
 
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Christobel

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I believe it's not the psychosis that causes brain damage but what the psychiatrists give you to treat it.
 
RainbowHeartz

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thanks xx

kinda sucks knowing im waiting for mum to die so i can die as im not sure what the hell to do in the meantime, life is meaningless with no emotions and had enough of family not caring im going to convince self they are dead and buried, easier that way, can forget them like they have me and mum.

derailed my own thread

brain damage

well memory is worse now too so im guessing psychosis took it, and my emotions

wouldnt be as bad if i had someone come over to my home and hug me and tell me i will be ok but this is fantasy, reality never works that way

my brain is stupid, i need a brain transplant
 
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misssadness

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I would say you need love and affection rather then a brain transplant. It must be truly awful for you watching your mother deteriorate and I know I do not know you but is there anyway you could tell a professional how you feel and see if you could get some support? Maybe therapy will at least help you to talk and release some of it. If not then sorry and I hope I have not offended you.
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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I believe it's not the psychosis that causes brain damage but what the psychiatrists give you to treat it.
yeah very possible, i took them meds too so i guess either way im screwed as my brain has been damaged, ive refused meds for a year or so now, but for mums sake im planning on giving meds a go as she wants me to be better, whatever better means in her eyes, im not sure if she realises i will never be cured but anything i do now is to help mum
 
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misssadness

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yeah very possible, i took them meds too so i guess either way im screwed as my brain has been damaged, ive refused meds for a year or so now, but for mums sake im planning on giving meds a go as she wants me to be better, whatever better means in her eyes, im not sure if she realises i will never be cured but anything i do now is to help mum
Trying medication to make your mother feel better is such a lovely and selfless thing to do. In a way by trying medication you have nothing to lose. My friend has psychosis and the medication really helps her not to hear voices.
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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I would say you need love and affection rather then a brain transplant. It must be truly awful for you watching your mother deteriorate and I know I do not know you but is there anyway you could tell a professional how you feel and see if you could get some support? Maybe therapy will at least help you to talk and release some of it. If not then sorry and I hope I have not offended you.
hi

no you havent offended me

i have my cpn on thursday i can talk to im hoping she made a psych appointment, as i need to try medication as mum believes it will help. what mum wants im trying so hard to do.

thanks x
 
RainbowHeartz

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Trying medication to make your mother feel better is such a lovely and selfless thing to do. In a way by trying medication you have nothing to lose. My friend has psychosis and the medication really helps her not to hear voices.
thanks

only problem is i really dont know if there is anymeds that they will give me as im not psychotic or depressed, i have a sneaky suspicion that its post traumatic stress disorder then derealisation on top... idk if meds can help with this?

its good news for your friend x
 
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misssadness

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hi

no you havent offended me

i have my cpn on thursday i can talk to im hoping she made a psych appointment, as i need to try medication as mum believes it will help. what mum wants im trying so hard to do.

thanks x
I am so glad you have a CPN and will be seeing her next week. It sounds like you are really trying your best to change the situation you are in.
 
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misssadness

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thanks

only problem is i really dont know if there is anymeds that they will give me as im not psychotic or depressed, i have a sneaky suspicion that its post traumatic stress disorder then derealisation on top... idk if meds can help with this?

its good news for your friend x
I am not sure if meds can help either but would you not say you may be depressed as you feel quite numb? From your posts you sound quite low so I was wondering if depression may be a factor at all.
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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thanks x

i hope in some bizarre way it is depression as anti depressants can help, but problem is they will ask have you been tearful, and answer is no... am i s/h ing and thats a no.... i really dont think depression will be diagnosed to me, if it is kinda easier as mum can physically see im taking some form of medication
 
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Helena1

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i really don't think it is a good idea for you to be taking medication for your mum. i understand why you want to do it but it is not really a good reason imo. i am sure your mum wouldn't want you to be taking meds unnecessarily.
hopefully you can see a pdoc and they will have a good idea of what will help.
 
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misssadness

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i really don't think it is a good idea for you to be taking medication for your mum. i understand why you want to do it but it is not really a good reason imo. i am sure your mum wouldn't want you to be taking meds unnecessarily.
hopefully you can see a pdoc and they will have a good idea of what will help.
Sorry. I did not think it was a bad idea. I hope I have not said the wrong thing. You will know much better as you have more knowledge then I do.
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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i really don't think it is a good idea for you to be taking medication for your mum. i understand why you want to do it but it is not really a good reason imo. i am sure your mum wouldn't want you to be taking meds unnecessarily.
hopefully you can see a pdoc and they will have a good idea of what will help.
thanks Helena

im hoping to see a pdoc

but im desperate for meds

i just want to make mum happy and this is failing in every way possible

if no meds can be taken then i really dont know if i can hang around and see mum like this much longer. i know i said when she died then i would, but if i cant cope i think i will have to die first, and i really dont want it that way around
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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Sorry. I did not think it was a bad idea. I hope I have not said the wrong thing. You will know much better as you have more knowledge then I do.
hey dont be sorry

you have been helpful


everyone on here has been helpful, not most of you, but ALL of you x
 
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