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BPD seeking support

K

Kdog95

New member
Joined
Apr 14, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Nevada
Good day,
I am recently diagnosed borderline personality disorder which is an amazing thing to finally feel like I have the correct diagnoses.
I’m wondering what fellow BPD folks do to avoid going in to crisis. I have a terrible tendency to self harm and say awful things to my boyfriend who I love very much. It’s like I’m a completely different person when I’m triggered and I get triggered by things that seemingly make no sense. I’m feeling very defeated and depressed because I don’t want to lose the love of my life. He is very supportive and tries his best to help me but he seems to be slipping away and I’m so sad. I want to be a good partner. Please help. Thank you
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
3,408
Location
London, ON
Some kind of therapy, like CBT or DBT can help manage your emotions. Getting an idea of what specifically triggers you, or why, can help deal with it.

I feel like I made a huge breakthrough in the last year, finally realizing that acting angry was a terrible idea. I don't mean normal angry, I mean full on "I'm off the leash, I have a plan, somebody is in for it" energizing righteous remove the obstacle to my peace of mind type. the kind where you know you're right and justified and get to act on it. That THAT was my mood swing, and that feeling like that and using it was irrational. I can't back down in that mode, no matter the risk or cost.

52 years old and I finally figured that out. the "good" thing was that it didn't happen that often, and I'm cold when angry, controlled and focused.

Once I realized "that" feeling was an issue, I have been able to work on not giving in to that anger. I still get those flashes, but I don't let myself act. I'll walk out of a restaurant on someone if I need to calm down.

So... that's what I mean about figuring out how these episodes feel, and working on coping with your temper when you feel that coming on. And if you can figure out why you get angry, you can figure out how desensitize those triggers.

In my opinion, dealing with BPD is ultimately about learning stronger self control and self awareness.
 
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