Bpd or just a failure

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Allyalz

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How do you know when your actions are because of bpd or just because I'm an awful person?

Ive had my in laws who refuse to read about or understand bpd slagging me off and my sister in law saying shes going to punch my lights out after me and my husband had a big argument last week and he went to stay there for some space.
Im beginning to wonder if bpd is even a thing for me as everyone just seems to think im a complete bitch because i want to be. I feel so worthless, lonely and in pain from it all.
 
Lunus

Lunus

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How do you know when your actions are because of bpd or just because I'm an awful person?

Ive had my in laws who refuse to read about or understand bpd slagging me off and my sister in law saying shes going to punch my lights out after me and my husband had a big argument last week and he went to stay there for some space.
Im beginning to wonder if bpd is even a thing for me as everyone just seems to think im a complete bitch because i want to be. I feel so worthless, lonely and in pain from it all.
You are not an awful person it’s your BPD that makes you feel that way, and from that you have behavioural dysregulation that has an impact on others. Keep working on being mindful and your suffering will ease and that will lead to you controlling your emotions which in turn leads to better behaviour. 🤗
 
G

Girl interupted

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Don’t let the angry internal voice win.
 
Sammie Mara

Sammie Mara

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How do you know when your actions are because of bpd or just because I'm an awful person?

Ive had my in laws who refuse to read about or understand bpd slagging me off and my sister in law saying shes going to punch my lights out after me and my husband had a big argument last week and he went to stay there for some space.
Im beginning to wonder if bpd is even a thing for me as everyone just seems to think im a complete bitch because i want to be. I feel so worthless, lonely and in pain from it all.
I know exactly how you are feeling. In the area I live everyone things i'm a complete bitch/slag/nutter. Just remember hun that it is NOT you its the BPD. People don't or can't understand that and that is not your problem. If they are not prepared to educate theirselves on your condition but are aware you have it that is their problem. We know what we are but we do not always realise what we do that is BPD I don't think anyone except my partner actually knows what condition I have but it should of been obvious to all something was wrong. Name calling is a release people use when they don't understand its up to us i'm afraid to rise above it, yes another thing for us to deal with. Stay strong we are what we are and we try and be the best we can but we screw up like everyone. The fact we do it in spectacular fashion is just us. I hope you can sort it with your partner as he is the only one that matters the rest of the family are just annoying static ;) Take care x
 
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Allyalz

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I know exactly how you are feeling. In the area I live everyone things i'm a complete bitch/slag/nutter. Just remember hun that it is NOT you its the BPD. People don't or can't understand that and that is not your problem. If they are not prepared to educate theirselves on your condition but are aware you have it that is their problem. We know what we are but we do not always realise what we do that is BPD I don't think anyone except my partner actually knows what condition I have but it should of been obvious to all something was wrong. Name calling is a release people use when they don't understand its up to us i'm afraid to rise above it, yes another thing for us to deal with. Stay strong we are what we are and we try and be the best we can but we screw up like everyone. The fact we do it in spectacular fashion is just us. I hope you can sort it with your partner as he is the only one that matters the rest of the family are just annoying static ;) Take care x
Thank you. Hubby has said hes on my side which means a lot to me as usually he just wants to be “peacekeeper” im trying but finding it hard to let go of the fact im getting slagged off and they think im just a bitch and wont acknowledge that its my bpd. Ive tried to repair and got kicked in the face. Have been doing the headspace app and started the acceptance course so hopefully it will help x
 
daffy

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You’re very lucky to have a husband that understands your medical condition because so many don’t . But I have to say that being on the receiving end of my daughters bpd attacks towards me when she’s upset is not easy. But her life has been turned round by DBT. I strongly suggest you speak to your practitioner about getting on a course but I do know there are long waiting list for this treatment.
My daughters life has been turned round by this. We usually could only manage a few minutes on the phone before she would start raging, but all that has stopped and now we can easily chat for an hour. I can tell when she’s about to get upset as she pauses and reassess and calms down.
There are some very good books on Amazon with the complete course. There not cheap but it’s money well spent if your going to have to wait a year for treatment.
 
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Allyalz

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You’re very lucky to have a husband that understands your medical condition because so many don’t . But I have to say that being on the receiving end of my daughters bpd attacks towards me when she’s upset is not easy. But her life has been turned round by DBT. I strongly suggest you speak to your practitioner about getting on a course but I do know there are long waiting list for this treatment.
My daughters life has been turned round by this. We usually could only manage a few minutes on the phone before she would start raging, but all that has stopped and now we can easily chat for an hour. I can tell when she’s about to get upset as she pauses and reassess and calms down.
There are some very good books on Amazon with the complete course. There not cheap but it’s money well spent if your going to have to wait a year for treatment.
Ive already done a dbt light course but i cant get to the full course as its miles away. I have several dbt books ive worked through. Its a shame i cant get to the courses though :(
 
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Pollypop

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It’s a shame your in-laws are so hostile and also won’t educate
themselves about your bpd.
I’m glad your husband understands it and will support you.
You are not an awful person Allyalz.
Remember that always.

You have been willing to have treatment to help yourself.
That shows you are aware of things.

Wishing you well.
 
A

Amathe77

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How do you know when your actions are because of bpd or just because I'm an awful person?

Ive had my in laws who refuse to read about or understand bpd slagging me off and my sister in law saying shes going to punch my lights out after me and my husband had a big argument last week and he went to stay there for some space.
Im beginning to wonder if bpd is even a thing for me as everyone just seems to think im a complete bitch because i want to be. I feel so worthless, lonely and in pain from it all.
No, BPD is likely the issue. Unfortunately, and I think most with BPD can relate, we self-sabotage ourselves in every way. You’re doing it by thinking you’re an awful person and that it’s not symptoms of your disorder. You can’t make others change if they don’t want to. Some of my family still live in the “mental illness is fake” world and refuse to consider that I actually have an illness. This has made life very unfortunate on some occasions and often led to them being totally rude to me. In turn, I would start thinking the way you’re thinking, that I’m just awful and it’s not “BPD.” My therapist told me to remove them from my life, as they were toxic. All of my interactions with them were bad by that point and we didn’t have really any fondness towards each other.

All I can really recommend is trying to not let your brain get the better of you. I know that’s easier said than done. Don’t let a few people make you feel like crap because they don’t understand BPD, nor will they take the time to read about it. I won’t tell you to remove them from your life, as that’s not an easy route, nor may it even help. Just consider that they may not be right every time the talk about you or you symptoms. Much love. Xx.
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

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You aren't an awful person. You can learn to regulate your moods, emotions and in turn your behaviour. When they are awful, try to take a pause and breathe and move away from them. Give yourself a space to react safely away from others.
 

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