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bpd mother and my child



New member
Jul 21, 2015

I've come here looking for some advice. My mother has recently been diagnosed with bpd and to be honest I've done so much reading up on it that I can see how well she fits into the diagnosis. If only I knew sooner! I had an unhappy childhood and as an adult I've kept both parents at arms length as much as possible. However in 2010 we had our daughter and my mother's behaviour has become worst since them, hence why I'm looking for advice.

I now only allow her supervised visits with my daughter, I don't stop visits and I take my daughter to see her but I would not leave my child alone with her now. She seems very jealous of my child, was jealous when I was pregnant and made bitter comments. Can a person with bpd feel that they 'own' the grandchildren? She seems to see me as a threat in many ways and I thought this could be part of the 'splitting' mindset.

She's been particularly attention seeking around occasions such as Xmas, Easter and birthdays (nothing new here) but now it's also on my daughter's birthday and special occasions with her too and I feel that I need to increasingly protect my child from my mother's manipulative ways.

Thank you for reading, any input would be greatly appreciated!


Well-known member
Jan 27, 2015
Hi storm1066

Really can't help as far as your questions go, wanted to welcome you to the forum and say I hope it helps you.

I guess the only thing I would say is everyone is very individual in how they are with any mental illness. I personally wouldn't know if how you mention she is acting is because she has BPD.
Have you tried talking to your mum and telling her how you feel, is that something that would be hard to do?
Sorry I'm not much help with your question.
I wish you all the best and hope you can somehow resolve issues to give you all peace!
Unique1 xx