BPD...Misinterpretation.

amathus

amathus

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goodness knows!
Do you see meanings in words that are not there?


I know I suffer from this and have found it a difficulty over the years, and in fact more recently over a post made by another member probably in all innocence.

How is the best way to deal with it?

qf.
 
maxitab

maxitab

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I know I mis-interpret both spoken and written words and that they have an emotional connotation other people don't seem to notice.
If something was on my mind I might be tempted to pm the person and say what you have posted here.....and that I was seeking to clarify my own thoughts.
Don't know if that helps. I also say things out of context, so it gets me from both directions, as it were.....
 
A

Ainsworth

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I know I mis-interpret both spoken and written words and that they have an emotional connotation other people don't seem to notice.
completely ^^^^^^

and it can be very hard not to react to the way we feel as we read it.
 
F

Freya

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I do with spoken and written word. I find written a little easier as I can normally make myself stop, reread, go away and come back and reread later. This does sometimes help but not always. Im afraid I dont really have any other ways of dealing with it!
 
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Freya

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I will add that I had a reaction to written word just today.
I went up to bring the horses in for the night and the lady who helps look after one of the other horses had left a note up saying "please fill the kettle up at night incase it is needed to defrost the tap in the morning. Thanks."
Now I had a massive reaction to it as I know it was aimed at me (not paranoia, there are only two other people on the farm and Im the first up in the morning and last to leave at night) but was so upset by it as I read all this into it:
1) She thinks Im selfish
2) She thinks I dont care if the horses dont have water
3) She thinks I purposefully leave the kettle empty
4) She thinks Im lazy
5) She doesnt like me as she could have sent me a text or called me to remind me but left a note
6) She doesnt appreciate I get up at 5:30am to do the horses and have to get home to two young children
7) She wants to humiliate me infront of other people by leaving a note for everyone to see
8) She thinks shes better than me.
9) She doesnt want me at the farm

Now I know I left the kettle empty this morning as I used the water to defrost the hose attached to the tap and I didnt refill it as I was rushing, if given the chance to say this too her Im sure it would have been ok but its ended up upsetting me for all the above reasons and making me angry as I always leave buckets and containers FULL of water that she should have used later in the morning if she had needed too, it didnt MATTER that the kettle was empty as there was LOADS of water with which to refill it. She also has a key to the house ten yards away were she could have boiled a kettle but instead chose to leave a note because I hadnt refilled it once....she doesnt even own a horse on the yard just gets paid to look after one and she has no authority over anyone else on there.
I wanted to leave a rather nasty note in return but managed not too and have asked the lady who owns the place to have a word with her for me.

All that and all she was doing was asking to be sure the kettle had water in it.....
stupid little things like that really rock me especially when it starts me off thinking people dont like me and are talking about me behind my back
 
maxitab

maxitab

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Ditto, this is exactly the sort of reaction I would have too......
 
blacktulip

blacktulip

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good to know im not alone....but dont want you to feel this too.....
trembling Plus panic attack
 
bullybeef

bullybeef

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I would be so, so the same. I am sure this is why generally we are people pleasers. In my case it is simply because I don't want people to dislike me.
They don't have to like me that much but just not dislike me. I think this is why I have always used humour as a weapon against being disliked.
Somebody posted in the GAD thread I think, saying that we as BPD'ers all think we are experts and we are imature. We also fight to have the best say etc.
In my case some of this is true but it still infuriated to me that this person knocks us for having a condition that we don't bloody wantanyway. My first reaction was to PM him ( like maxitab ) and tell him how I feel and to defend us. Then I thought this would be playing into his hands.
I am still thinking about it now, some 24hrs later. All this is part of how we are ( or should I say, some of us) and we don't like it I doubt, anymore than the people who perceive us that way. Does this make sense or am I rambling.


If the truth is I am rambling, don't tell me or I will take that personally and develop some other PD where people are more friendly :)
 
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bullybeef

bullybeef

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That's something else that pees me off. Even when I edit my post I still make mistakes grrrrrrr! I just wish I could be like the kids are now and not give a dam about spellings, punctuation etc. This is one reason why when I reply and press "Qiuck Reply" two or three have posted before I get
in there.

My partner tells me to lighten up and stop being such a grumpy old man. Bless her. She said when she watches the programme "Grumpy Old Men" it's like listening to me but in different voices. I suppose that's the pitfall of living with someone ten years younger. I said to her "I bet you'll be the same in ten years" and the cheeky bugger said "Maybe I will, but you'll still be ten years older than me and even more grumpy". Huh!!
 
amathus

amathus

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I'm glad it's not only me, well I'm not glad cos I know you guys suffer too....getting confused here.

I went through what I call my 'flower phase', about ten years ago.... I was sooo misinterpreting other folks words, actions
that I got into real strife with myself and others. The only way (at that time) that I could see as dealing with it, was by buying
endless bunches of flowers by way of an apology. My then partner (bless her) came off the best!!

I suppose now that I don't have much contact with others, except on here and other internet friends, I'm through the 'flower phase'...its
easier on my pocket, but the problem still rears it's ugly head. I could, I reckon though be sending virtual bunches of flowers!!

This leads me on to say another thing ... it always turns out to have been my fault, I am always the one to blame, even tho I know, 100%,
that I am not!

It must be that 'borderline thing!'

qf.
 
bullybeef

bullybeef

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Hi qf, I know what you mean.
Hey, if you want a good site for vitual flowers with a choice of vases and flowers to create your own and a place to leave your message I know agood one. I've left you a message with the site :)
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

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I can take things the wrong way. For me its my supersensitivity and paranoia.
 
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