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BPD Literature

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tysontaylor

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My ex-gf and I split abruptly 6-7 weeks ago, which at the time I suspected was attributed to her BPD (though of which I was not aware she had). We reconnected over the past week and spent some time together over the weekend, where she confided in me that she does in fact have BPD and has been in therapy for the past 8 months (unknown to family or friends), and this was the reason for our breakup. She also deeply regrets how it all ended and did express interest in getting back to "us" when her studies calm down soon (though I'm not at this point just yet).

I've spent a lot of time over the past month or so reading through various forums concerning BPD, but I've found this to be the most supportive and most informative of them all. As such, it's where I feel I may get the best possible advice. I'm hoping people there may be able to recommend books/podcasts/etc, that have helped either themselves or a partner that has BPD, in order to help myself further understand what she is experiencing, and how I can support her and help manage our relationship moving forward (romantic or otherwise, at this juncture I just want to be someone she can rely upon).

I have seen the book 'I Hate You - Don't Leave Me' suggested a few times elsewhere, has this been helpful for anyone? Any other suggestions?

Thanks in advance!
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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"The Four Agreements" by by Don Miguel Ruiz
It's not a book for BPD only but I have found it helpful as has my husband.

There are other books that have been suggested here such as "Walking on Eggshells". I haven't read it yet, but maybe someone here can tell you more about it as I have seen it suggested.

DBT books are helpful.
 
Humanitee

Humanitee

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Jun 6, 2021
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Location
UK
My ex-gf and I split abruptly 6-7 weeks ago, which at the time I suspected was attributed to her BPD (though of which I was not aware she had). We reconnected over the past week and spent some time together over the weekend, where she confided in me that she does in fact have BPD and has been in therapy for the past 8 months (unknown to family or friends), and this was the reason for our breakup. She also deeply regrets how it all ended and did express interest in getting back to "us" when her studies calm down soon (though I'm not at this point just yet).

I've spent a lot of time over the past month or so reading through various forums concerning BPD, but I've found this to be the most supportive and most informative of them all. As such, it's where I feel I may get the best possible advice. I'm hoping people there may be able to recommend books/podcasts/etc, that have helped either themselves or a partner that has BPD, in order to help myself further understand what she is experiencing, and how I can support her and help manage our relationship moving forward (romantic or otherwise, at this juncture I just want to be someone she can rely upon).

I have seen the book 'I Hate You - Don't Leave Me' suggested a few times elsewhere, has this been helpful for anyone? Any other suggestions?

Thanks in advance!
Definitely Walking on Eggshells. Recommended by a psychiatrist for my husband and it’s really helped him to understand BPD from my POV, and has useful tips on how to support etc. Best of luck!
 
T

tysontaylor

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Joined
May 14, 2021
Messages
23
Location
Australia
Awesome, I'll definitely check out 'The Four Agreements' and 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' then. Thank you for the suggestions! Here's hoping they can provide myself with a better perspective, and hopefully allow me to be a better support for her moving forward!
 
T

tysontaylor

Member
Joined
May 14, 2021
Messages
23
Location
Australia
Thank you all again for the advice, have just started reading 'The Four Agreements' and waiting on my order that has 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' in it.

Just a related question - I am keeping contact with her limited. Though should I let her know that I am reading these books? Or could that potentially make her distrust me/my intentions? I could see how she could perhaps perceive it as an insincere gesture/myself trivialising her BPD and our "relationship"...
 
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