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BPD friend who having trouble coping with - is this more about his personality than symptoms of his illness - ie have had other bpd friends before

H

harsh-reality

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This young guy I know - its a total rollercoaster

He plotting people against each other - says things to one person and then something else to another - he got diabetes type one too and keeps getting hypos -my view as with others he is almost doing these hypos deliberately to be noticed.

Most of us would be friends with him but the "deliberate hypos" - paramedics been involved probably around ten times in last month - we all exhausted and are not coping with him - yet afterwards he asks how are we and we all in general mentally well - we all struggling to cope with these hypos.

Also there are two factions within his friends ie some really do not like myself and another but its a scenario long gone and based on nothing but he will say things to me and others about what others say about me or others - I told him not tell me what others think as I find it incredibly upsetting - I not want to know these people but he keeps engineering it so there is aggro - I think he says one thing to one and then changes his story to myself and my friend.

But all of us have supported him but today his other friend we believe he attacked him in some way - and then he tells me that this man says I am to blame - I not necessarily believe anything this man is saying now - its caused myself to experience extreme exhaustion - I have said I can't cope with this emotional rollercoaster and the hypos are frightening for all of us - he is ignoring all mental and physical health support which he has been offered - he is still holding down a job as well.

Unfortuantely for him after today all sides have kicked him into touch - its just too much to cope with - I feel bad writing that but I can't cope and also I not totally trust him - but then he will send a message to say am I ok - which he does with others but its his reactions that have been causing all the harm.

I have had BPD friends before and know the changes of emotions etc and one was manipulative as well but although I know the condition a little - this behaviour has been impossible to cope with for all of us now and he has placed himself from a great position into an awful one but its been his actions that have done this and it seems deliberate also and in particular with the deliberate hypos which we were all supportive of at first.

I was posting it here just in case anyone else experienced this and can explain why he may be reacting in such a way.

Having known friends before with BPD - I believe this is more about his personality than symptoms of his condition but if this can be explained by BPD in some way that's why am posting and if it was you what would you hope to get from people that have all not been able to deal with this.

I am taking a break from him currently because its dragged me down but is there a good or bad way of dealing with this..
 
calypso

calypso

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I don't think you should see people living with BPD as manipulative. Its not necessarily a sign of this distressing condition. I think your friend is just being a twerp for attention and this has nothing to do with BPD. Has he been formally diagnosed with it? Or are you assuming it? Just interested. People living with BPD are people first and the MH condition second. I suggest you look it up and realise how terrible it can be to live with it.

So in answer to your question, I don't see the behaviour as particularly like BPD per se. He is going to get it wrong with his diabetes and make himself really ill by accident soon. These MH labels are all just constructs to help us describe distress of one sort or another, and not cast in stone.
 
H

harsh-reality

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No I know the condition - I have have three close friends with BPD at the moment and I get on fine with them all and there are occasions when they can be a bit changeable but no I am aware and don't treat people as a label in anyways.

But no sorry I am not like that - I have known many many people over the years with a wide variety diagnoses and get on fine - so obviously you saying to the wrong person - people are people first ie individuals not a condition - I am very aware of this.

I was actually simply asking the question - could this behaviour be down to his diagnosis..

He pretends sometimes to have hypos dragging myself and another friend of ours to support him whilst he has been treated by paramedics. Its frightening for us but he can control it - its often deliberate...

But he does tend to lie a lot and he said to me yesterday a friend of his said all the problems around were down to myself - I was so upset last night I rang the crisis line myself.

He then later admitted to someone else that this was a downright lie. This is where I was asking the question if it could be explained but now I know that's the type of person he is and not a symptom of his mental health.

I was only asking the question calypso if it could be explained by BPD but I not had any troubles with my friendships with three others with BPD - I knew really this was down to who he is as a person as opposed to symptoms of his health condition.

The fact though I had to ring crisis line last night because of his lie about what he alleged his friend said was just simply downright awful behaviour..

Its a regular thing with him though and he been like it with lots people.

I was only really asking the question if it could be explained a little by his health condition as I was attempting give him the benefit of the doubt - I can't though - I been their big time for him - yet he responds by deliberately saying things that put troubles between myself and others because of his lies and if he is well or not - its not acceptable.

He himself can be very manipulative but I do recognise that now as who he is and in no way explainable by any health issues he may have
 
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