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BPD but so many signs of autism..?

R

ridethelightning

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Joined
Mar 26, 2015
Messages
11
Hey everyone,

So I was hospitalized a couple years back and they came to the final conclusion that I have BPD. Before that I was down as bipolar, ADHD, depression, and just generalized anxiety. (Mainly social anxiety.)

Anyways what made me to come to the conclusion that maybe I'm autistic is because I've always struggled with simple task. I can put a whole computer together with no problem but it literally takes me about 5 tries to tie my shoe correctly. Why I always prefer to just wear slip ons or boots you just zip up. It's like almost embarrassing. I even had someone point out how smart I seemed when I talked. But I've always been like that, I always could carry on a smart conversation even at a young age.

But my emotional intelligence is non existent. I can't control when I'm upset, mad or happy. My emotions are just all over the place and sometimes in crowded places I'm just dumb. Like I lose my voice and I stutter all over the place, like bad. I always thought that maybe is was because of my social anxiety. When everyone's looking and I'm on spot I just practically forget how to breathe. But I struggle alone. It's pretty frustrating. Oh and I also find myself constantly rocking or swaying. Mostly when I play music but sometimes in dead silence. I've been known to do it front of people without even noticing. Anyone do that?

Anyways I've hit one of my highs today and I've been all over the place. I just don't like the overwhelming thoughts I can't contain..
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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:welcome: to the forums :)

-

Hey everyone,

So I was hospitalized a couple years back and they came to the final conclusion that I have BPD. Before that I was down as bipolar, ADHD, depression, and just generalized anxiety. (Mainly social anxiety.)

Anyways what made me to come to the conclusion that maybe I'm autistic is because I've always struggled with simple task. I can put a whole computer together with no problem but it literally takes me about 5 tries to tie my shoe correctly. Why I always prefer to just wear slip ons or boots you just zip up. It's like almost embarrassing. I even had someone point out how smart I seemed when I talked. But I've always been like that, I always could carry on a smart conversation even at a young age.

But my emotional intelligence is non existent. I can't control when I'm upset, mad or happy. My emotions are just all over the place and sometimes in crowded places I'm just dumb. Like I lose my voice and I stutter all over the place, like bad. I always thought that maybe is was because of my social anxiety. When everyone's looking and I'm on spot I just practically forget how to breathe. But I struggle alone. It's pretty frustrating. Oh and I also find myself constantly rocking or swaying. Mostly when I play music but sometimes in dead silence. I've been known to do it front of people without even noticing. Anyone do that?

Anyways I've hit one of my highs today and I've been all over the place. I just don't like the overwhelming thoughts I can't contain..
bold: This is why I don't like DSM or diagnoses in particular.

I think too many things overlap to use definitive categories.

-

Have a nosy around, there are lots of sections and places to chat about different things too :)
 
R

ridethelightning

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2015
Messages
11
I don't either actually and I never have. I don't believe in putting someone in one category and it's done. There's so many mental illnesses that have the same symptoms. I even had a psychiatrist look at my file and tell me you can't have this and this and assumed the psychiatrist before got it wrong. I've always thought psychiatrists were just frustrating. They always assume they know it all and won't take in my suggestions. At least that's been my experience.

And thanks I shall. :)
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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I don't either actually and I never have. I don't believe in putting someone in one category and it's done. There's so many mental illnesses that have the same symptoms. I even had a psychiatrist look at my file and tell me you can't have this and this and assumed the psychiatrist before got it wrong. I've always thought psychiatrists were just frustrating. They always assume they know it all and won't take in my suggestions. At least that's been my experience.

And thanks I shall. :)
Absolutely. (assuming that I accept the term mental illnesses)

I sometimes watch documentaries on things not necessarily about MI/MH, and notice things that people have or do, and it reminds me of what myself or others' experience from what I read in here.

It's all scales really.

I can explain it better on my white board with diagrams.
 
R

ridethelightning

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2015
Messages
11
I completely understand where you're coming from. It makes sense. But I also see it as an answer for someone struggling. I always wanted to know exactly what was wrong with me, Like why I do this and why I do that. It was like an OCD thing. I needed to know and I wanted an exact answer. I just don't think someone can just always fit in one category of mental illness. I use to watch fiction or non fiction movies about someone dealing with a mental illness in hopes I can relate and pin point the problem. I over think and over analyze everything. I always wanna find the root of everything which I never seem to really do. Maybe I make no sense.
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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I completely understand where you're coming from. It makes sense. But I also see it as an answer for someone struggling. I always wanted to know exactly what was wrong with me, Like why I do this and why I do that. It was like an OCD thing. I needed to know and I wanted an exact answer. I just don't think someone can just always fit in one category of mental illness. I use to watch fiction or non fiction movies about someone dealing with a mental illness in hopes I can relate and pin point the problem. I over think and over analyze everything. I always wanna find the root of everything which I never seem to really do. Maybe I make no sense.
bold: Y'see, I don't think this is OCD per se. I also need answers, but over time I've realised that few things are a 1/0, yes/no thing, and need much further thought. I don't think it's a MI as such.

Look at the news today, and aircraft disaster, and some people are DEMANDING answers!, as if it's a simple thing?

Are they all OCD? No, I doubt it. They just don't understand what is a complexity.

Life isn't like this. Things are complicating. WE are complicating!

Anyway, 4am, night :)
 
R

ridethelightning

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2015
Messages
11
Yes life is very complicating and I defiantly know we are. I just like the find the answer to everything even though I know there isn't an answer to everything. You can answer a question I ask through and through and I'll still have another one or I'll ask just why to your answer. I don't know why I do, I just do. I like knowing all I can. Helps ease my brain at night. :) Anyways, Night!
 
H

hannonymous

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Apr 8, 2014
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London
Hey,

I think it's possible to have both BPD and autism (my psych suggested at some point that I might have some form of autism) but that doesn't necessarily mean that you have autism. Personality disorders can manifest in many different ways, so it might just be that your way of coping 'resembles' a subset of autistic symptoms. As another poster mentioned, the DSM is pretty much just a set of guidelines. It doesn't describe people or individual cases very well, it just provides a framework for a psychiatrist to see where you fit best and therefore what treatments might suit you best. The framework isn't infallible, though, so you might find yourself responding to another treatment better. I think that's part of the reason that it takes so long for people who aren't neurotypical/who have mental health problems to get appropriate help. Everyone will respond differently to treatment. It's just that on average, people who tick enough boxes for BPD respond to treatments for BPD (e.g. DBT) the best.

The second thing to consider is that a diagnosis isn't really binary. Autism is a spectrum, so it's possible that you have some autistic traits but that BPD and your problems with emotional regulation are what they're choosing to treat right now. I have some autistic traits, like the repetitive motion, hating physical touch and difficulty relating to people, but it's nowhere near the scale of my severely autistic brother who is very very obsessive about particular topics (e.g. Thomas the Tank Engine) and doesn't really have the capacity to relate to people at all, instead using things that he has seen or read to justify his actions (he wouldn't understand why someone might react differently to something he has seen repeated in an episode of Thomas, for example). I think if you're worried about dealing with what could be autistic traits, talk to a psychiatrist about it - autistic people, especially high-functioning autistic people, can live very fulfilling lives. It's just a matter of learning how to deal with your symptoms, whether they're classified as bipolar, ADHD, autistic, whatever.

Really hope that helped. Sorry if my writing wasn't very coherent!
 
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