• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

BPD and work

M

Madeleine95

Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
18
Hi, I'm just wondering if anyone else is in the same position as me when it comes to working and if anyone has any advice?

I have been doing DBT two days a week for 3 months now, and although I see small improvements I'm nowhere near ready to leave and work full time. I need to work part time because I'm not entitled to any benefits but find it really stressful even applying for fear of rejection. I'm not good with crowded places or meeting new people so interviews are hard too! It feels like I'm being forced into work because my parents are my only source of income and they can't afford it much longer. Could I have some advice on how to speak to my parents without causing argument, or how to deal with stressful work situations?

Thanks, Madeleine
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
Hi, I don't have much time right now for a proper reply, but I wanted to give you a short one and let you know I'm in a similar position. I'll get back to you later with my thoughts :)
 
T

Tiddle

Guest
Hi, can I ask why you aren't entitled to any benefits? Even if you don't qualify for esa or pip you should still be able to get jobseekers allowance or income support something like that.

Some kind of benefit may take the pressure off until you have completed dbt or you could dive straight in while you have the dbt support system to go ahead and try for a part time job so they can be there to help you with the difficulties that may arise.
 
M

Madeleine95

Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
18
Hi still fighting, that'll be great thanks.

Hi Tiddle, I can't receive anything because I live with my partner and he works full-time.. The system is completely screwed! I would love to work part time to meet new people, but bpd bad days make it hard to keep a job. I'm not sure my therapist can offer much more support as atm we are focussing on self harming behaviours.

Thanks for your replies x
 
T

Tiddle

Guest
Ah I thought you lived with your parents- have you tried for pip as that's not means tested and you can also work as well.

I know what you mean with DBT self harm always first but if you are also getting the phone coaching from your therapist you can phone in any situation. I was in the same situation when I did DBT had major things that I needed help with but coukdnt because of the self harm first rule.

You are right about the screwed system I also couldn't get some benefits or working tax credit because my partner earns too much yet I still have to pay my way which is near impossible with very little income I get from pip benefit
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
Hi Madeleine,

If you don't mind me asking, what is it that you'd like to talk to your parents about? Supporting you financially for longer time? Also, do they know you suffer from BPD and are in treatment?

I started typing a long answer, when I realized I didn't fully understand the situation, and wouldn't want to write irrelevant things!
 
M

Madeleine95

Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
18
Thanks for the reminder about skills coaching, I always forget they are just a call away! I applied for PIP but unfortunately not eligible.

I would like to know how to talk to my parents without causing conflict, unfortunately we haven't started interpersonal skills yet! They both have well paid careers but say they can no longer support me because they want me to be independent.
Yes they know about DBT but maybe not enough about how it effects my day to day life
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
Hi Madeleine, thanks for your reply, I think I understand a bit better now.

As I said, I'm in a similar situation - graduated a few months ago. The job hunting process is going extremely slow, because of my anxiety/depression issues. And my parents are supporting me financially, which makes me feel quite guilty at times.

Do you think it would be helpful to let them know a bit more on how BPD is affecting you? Maybe if they knew more, they could be more understanding and less reluctant regarding the financial issue.

Just a suggestion, you could have a conversation mentioning roughly:
- your appreciation for their support
- understanding that they want you to be independent
- BPD affecting your life in X/Y/Z way
- you're in therapy, and it helps, but it's going to take some time to recover fully
- a full-time job might be too much pressure at the moment, and make you worse instead of better
- you would like to find a part-time job, as a first step
- you would like to ask their support financially, for some time, while you make this effort

These are just some ideas. How do you think they would react to something like that?
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
B BPD and splitting Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 6
whoopigirlberg NHS help for bpd Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 18
A A good breakdown of BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 6
M Looking for friends with BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 2
D Self sabotage bpd Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 10
Helloseaturtle I Need friends with BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 5
E I found out my close friend with BPD was hacking into my instagram account. Anyone have any insight as to why or how to proceed? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
S Will my close friend with BPD come back to me in time after pulling away? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 13
D Reported a bad conversation with a colleague about another colleague now bpd wont let up. Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
D How to keep a job with bpd? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 10
S A Theory for the root Cause of BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 25
S I want to change careers: BPD symptom or genuine reasons to do so? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 1
J Maybe BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
B BPD recovery?? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 6
The so called BPD and loneliness Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 13
bpdrosie Newly diagnosed with BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 8
Mom_To_Two_Too Have there been any cases where someone diagnosed with BPD came from a secure, loving environment with no traumas? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 3
dustin001 My bpd got me banned on reddit Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 30
BPDB4B3 Relationship - am I out of love or is it just BPD? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 6
I Quiet BPD. Experiences? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 35
S Sister has BPD and cancer Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 5
M Quiet bpd, feel doomed Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 17
ghoulcentury crush that my bpd doesnt know how to handle Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 1
L Not long been diagnosed with bpd Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 9
F Finally accepted BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 34
E TW- drugs/ kissing Made a huge mistake. Bpd Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 1
J Why do people with BPD push people away? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 34
B BPD coping strategies for dating Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 9
T I’m struggling with boyfriends BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 3
H Trauma and BPD, is there a connection? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 28
237BPDGoth For the other mother's with BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
B I need your help.. living with someone with BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
C Disability SS for BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
J How to tell mum I think she has BPD and how to support her Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
J BPD Breakup Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 1
CharlotteAnne BPD Got Me In Trouble Again Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 2
G People say that you’re fine fine you don’t have bpd Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 3
T wondering if i have bpd ? (Long post sorry) Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 5
M Bpd Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
3 Misdiagnosed with BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 8
T Worrying Ive been misdiagnosed. Has anyone been diagnosed with depression and a long time later been diagnosed with BPD? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 20
Fairy Lucretia can you be manic with bpd? x Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 9
C Struggling with meds and bpd. Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 11
AppleJacks88 BPD and possible OCD? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 1
Louizard Being childish (except it's BPD) Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 8
P Private BPD/EUPD assessment (UK) any advice? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 15
W BPD - A Patriarchal Diagnosis? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 7
Viltato BPD and new relationships Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 7
L Bpd and Need a out love Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 10
L Depression and bpd Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 7

Similar threads

Top