bpd and suicidal thoughts x

Lynds1990

Lynds1990

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Yes? That is one of the well-known symptoms of BPD, it happens quite frequently with a lot of people.

I can't tell if I've pushed all of those feelings away or if I genuinely don't feel them as often as I used to.
 
megirl

megirl

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When I'm feeling so overwhelmed and can't carry on I do feel scared knowing what I'm capable of, and how impulsive I become, I get scared and no longer even trust myself
 
S

Sarabi_Gyarados

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i had this experience myself only the other day. i became overwhelmed with emotion and started following a negative thought tangent. i really wanted to kill myself but didnt. well, to be honest i didnt want to kill myself and i wouldnt have, i just felt like life was causing me too much hurt. i reached out to my bf (i didnt say i wanted to kill myself, just that i was struggling emotionally), had a cry and a talk and he bought me some chocolate. by the next morning i was much better.

i think its part of not being able to regulate emotions. when i feel very emotional, i dont know how to talk myself down again. the whole process just seems to escalate so quickly that i cant keep up. it always passes and i never act on it, ive never been a self-harmer or anything like that.
 
NWiddi

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and he bought me some chocolate.
Was it dark chocolate? Apparently dark chocolate is great for depression, I heard it on the telly so it's got to be true :)

Next time ask him for a nice big box of Black Magic and see how that makes you feel.

On a more serious note I hope life gets better for you soon, don't be afraid to lean on him for support and the same goes for us here.
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

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it was milk chocolate but i will get dark chocolate next time. thank you for reminding me not to be afraid to lean on someone - i try so hard not to because i dont want to be 'weak'
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

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hi fairy, im sorry you are feeling so awful. i felt this way the other day and i couldnt see an end to it. all i can tell you is that you will be alright even if it really doesnt feel that you will - the tidal wave of the feeling will slowly begin to fade and you will feel more like yourself again. be gentle with yourself and fall back to the basics - whatever you can do to help yourself get through the next five minutes should be done. you can do this fairy. i believe in you. you can get through this and just keep going and things will get easier as you get through. feel free to post on here so that we can be here for you.
 
NWiddi

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i try so hard not to because i dont want to be 'weak'
I don't believe it's being weak, it's what BF's are for, we may not have sworn it in front of a room full of family and friends and in front of a priest but we're there in sickness and in health, for better and for worse.

I hope you remember that too Fairy Lu!
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

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thank you n widdi, i always think a partner shouldnt see me feeling vulnerable or 'weak' because that might make them think less of me or fall out of love with me. i feel ill be more lovable if i always seem competent and strong. thank you for reminding me that part of partnership is being able to share yourself with your partner, including your flaws, weaknesses and fears - its not just all about the bright shiny times.
 
C

Confusedandanxious

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Those thoughts are with me daily. Especially at the minute. The more overwhelmed or stressed I am, the stronger they are.

I hope these thoughts pass quickly for you fairy x
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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feeling this way again
I just want to hit myself to snap out of it
there is no reason why I should be feeling this way
I should feel happy right now x
 
D

dewey

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feeling this way again
I just want to hit myself to snap out of it
there is no reason why I should be feeling this way
I should feel happy right now x
i get it completely. i also get this. it sucks like hell.
I wish it were different for us Fairy Lu xxx
 
Parayana

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I don't have BPD but sometimes I get random mood drops and suicide ideation so I know how you guys feel. Big Hugs.
 
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