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BPD and risk taking behaviour

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Neymika

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My daughter aged 25 often goes for walk at 8 pm and comes back late at 11 pm which is very very risky considering that roads are deserted .No amount of reasoning with her helps . She has been diagnosed with borderline personality and probably has depression .Why does she take risks like going out so late?
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Risk taking behaviour is one of the symptoms of borderline personality

Is she getting professional help or have they done what they like doing here in the UK? "borderline personality is incurable, leave them to get on with it, particularly if its mild"?
 
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MHFPokeplantz

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Its related to MOOD changes, impulsivity TOO, so sometimes they get euphoric (not manic necessarilly) and feel like dont have much to lose or nothing will happen to them. And when they are in crises, or bad mood etc, they may be impulsive to avoid EMPTINESS too, which is a CHRONIC symptom in BPD (though changes in forces)
Best wishes for you both
 
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Dagoon

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Yeah this is a big thing with bpd. I used to go out drinking meet guys and just go with them. I though I was invincible and nothing could hurt me. On the flip side I wouldn't care if it did. All these thoughts would be rambling in my mind like I was a spectator im my own life. I could watch what was happening but felt I had no control over the outcome. If im completely honest with myself and loved ones. Im lucky to still be alive today the risks I took. As I've gotten older and met someone that im very compatible with (he is amazing) I've managed to curb a lot of my risky behaviour. But thats only because I dont live. I stay home I dont drink I dont smoke or take drugs. I lead a very very boring life. This isn't me complaining. This is me saying this is what it took for me to curb my symptoms. Trouble is they dont stop. They just change direction. I turned to food to help with the risky impulsivity so when im feeling like I want to go crazy. I eat or I play on my computer. Its not a life to be fair. But im alive. Ive moved my mental goal post. I always told myself that I would be dead by 40 well at the time that was old to me. Im 46 now. So my new goal is im going to live until I need to go into a nursing home.
Bpd is hell to live with. Especially when you didnt know you were living with it. It took 35 years to get a diagnosis. Now I'm learning how to survive it.

Be there for her, listen to her and never judge.
 
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lifecangetbetter

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My daughter aged 25 often goes for walk at 8 pm and comes back late at 11 pm which is very very risky considering that roads are deserted .No amount of reasoning with her helps . She has been diagnosed with borderline personality and probably has depression .Why does she take risks like going out so late?
i have done the same. we don't care about ourselves. a part of us wants to get hurt. brief lapses where we want to get hurt is what happens
 
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WhySoSerious

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My daughter aged 25 often goes for walk at 8 pm and comes back late at 11 pm which is very very risky considering that roads are deserted .No amount of reasoning with her helps . She has been diagnosed with borderline personality and probably has depression .Why does she take risks like going out so late?
I am wondering what is so dangerous about walking near roads? I mean I assume she has the capacity to see traffic coming and can evade a collision? I may be missing something important like risks from men etc but that doesn't sound all that alarming.

I think you really need to find out what is the function of the behaviour? Is she avoiding being at home? Does she like the peace of not being around people? Does she see it as risky?

All behaviours are caused. Finding out what she gets from the behaviour is a sure fire way of figuring out the "why".
 
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WhySoSerious

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Risk taking behaviour is one of the symptoms of borderline personality

Is she getting professional help or have they done what they like doing here in the UK? "borderline personality is incurable, leave them to get on with it, particularly if its mild"?
I'm sad you have had that impression with BPD in the UK. I have a great service locally that offers a variety of DBT informed groups and other work for people with BPD. They have only come into being over the past 5 years or so but it has much improved.

I have also found most professionals feel that something CAN be done with BPD nowadays, much more than 20 years ago when - as you say - they just said they couldn't do anything.

At the same time I would really question whether someone with "mild" symptoms really needs a CMHT to deal with the problem. But that's because I know people that work in the field who say how stretched they are and therefore how their criteria have gotten narrower and narrower.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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I'm sad you have had that impression with BPD in the UK. I have a great service locally that offers a variety of DBT informed groups and other work for people with BPD. They have only come into being over the past 5 years or so but it has much improved.

I have also found most professionals feel that something CAN be done with BPD nowadays, much more than 20 years ago when - as you say - they just said they couldn't do anything.

At the same time I would really question whether someone with "mild" symptoms really needs a CMHT to deal with the problem. But that's because I know people that work in the field who say how stretched they are and therefore how their criteria have gotten narrower and narrower.
even 7 years ago when they disagnosised me with it, they said they cant do anything .....
 
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Dagoon

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I'm sad you have had that impression with BPD in the UK. I have a great service locally that offers a variety of DBT informed groups and other work for people with BPD. They have only come into being over the past 5 years or so but it has much improved.

I have also found most professionals feel that something CAN be done with BPD nowadays, much more than 20 years ago when - as you say - they just said they couldn't do anything.

At the same time I would really question whether someone with "mild" symptoms really needs a CMHT to deal with the problem. But that's because I know people that work in the field who say how stretched they are and therefore how their criteria have gotten narrower and narrower.
Omg the doctors over here are to good at passing the buck. There's no empathy here anymore. All my doctors make me feel as if im moaning all the time. I dont feel confident when talking to them regarding mental health.
 
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MYTIMEHASCOME

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Because our lives feel empty, we have no sense of purpose and we don’t know who we are, if you don’t know why you are alive and felt like you were just existing you would do anything just to feel something and something going wrong doesn’t register it doesn’t matter.

this is how I feel when I do stupid stuff, but I agree with whysoserious it’s not a lost cause I hear DBT can be really effective. I hope you manage to help your daughter x
 
N

Neymika

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Joined
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Messages
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Sri Lanka
Risk taking behaviour is one of the symptoms of borderline personality

Is she getting professional help or have they done what they like doing here in the UK? "borderline personality is incurable, leave them to get on with it, particularly if its mild"?
She is getting professional help .
 
N

Neymika

Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Sri Lanka
I am wondering what is so dangerous about walking near roads? I mean I assume she has the capacity to see traffic coming and can evade a collision? I may be missing something important like risks from men etc but that doesn't sound all that alarming.

I think you really need to find out what is the function of the behaviour? Is she avoiding being at home? Does she like the peace of not being around people? Does she see it as risky?

All behaviours are caused. Finding out what she gets from the behaviour is a sure fire way of figuring out the "why".
It's considered dangerous because there are antisocial elements in the area that we live .
 
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