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BPD and mindful self compassion


Girl interupted

Well-known member
Nov 17, 2018
There’s a doctor out of Texas who has developed a new meditation/psychotherapy program called mindful self compassion. Her name is Kristen Neff and I’ve only recently discovered her.

My boss actually recommended I take a mindful self compassion course after I was struggling at work with feeling fragile and emotionally unstable due to my mother’s illness.

I was dubious at first, but I went. The first class the doctor took us all through the process of how we would comfort a friend who was going through a hard time. The words we would use to soothe them, to tell them it was going to be ok. The compassion we felt for that friend and how we wanted to do anything to make them feel better.

She then told us to hold out our arms and hug the imaginary friend. Soothe them, give them space for forgiveness.

Then she told us to take that hug and wrap our arms around ourselves. And those words you had been telling your beloved friend, to start telling yourself.

I was overwhelmed. I had never been kind to myself in my entire life, in fact the voice in my head would often viciously berate me.

I began to weep, and cried all the way through that class and all the way on my drive home.

Each day when I did my five minute meditation, telling myself the consoling words I would tell a dear friend, I wept.

But then something happened. The more I did it, the fewer tears. Until I could complete it without crying at all.

I felt stronger, more resilient. Things that would normally send me into a spiral of self loathing and send me binging on booze, or shopping, or food, suddenly did not. The triggers were less effective on my mood. I found I could cope.

I then discovered the app Headspace. Three minutes of meditation a day. And I grew stronger. It teaches you to just let go ... of those triggers, of things that once overwhelmed.

I think, more than any other disorder, BPD have no clue on how to simply be kind to ourselves.

This has helped me immensely, and I just wanted to share in case it helps others, too. The principles in mindful meditation are very similar to DBT therapy, so I understand why it works.

Google Kristen Neff. There’s tons of YouTube videos. I hope it helps you find some peace, too.



Well-known member
Nov 9, 2018
Thank you so much for this message!!!!!!!!!!!! I was feeling jittery and anxious, and your writing on kindness and compassion has helped soothe me greatly.
Intense emotions are the bread and butter of bpd, but if I can learn to accept them then I think I will learn not to be so worried about it.

Thank you so much.