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Bpd and connections to sex drive etc MAY HOLD TRIGGERS FOR SOME.

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Dagoon

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Hi

Im unsure whether this is even a thing. Whether its medication or BPD. Its a touchy subject for myself so it maybe for others it might not.

Can bpd effect a womens ability to have an a full sexual experience?
 
sam999

sam999

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i have bpd and i dont really notice any changes? im not on a lot meds though
 
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Dagoon

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i have bpd and i dont really notice any changes? im not on a lot meds though
Maybe it is the meds. But I've not been on meds all through my life but the problem has always been there.
 
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celticlass

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Well there is said to be a drive towards seeking out relationships. I don't know if this is just a biological drive or something about wanting to be wanted/not being alone. Not sure at all.
 
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Dagoon

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Well there is said to be a drive towards seeking out relationships. I don't know if this is just a biological drive or something about wanting to be wanted/not being alone. Not sure at all.
Ive been down that road. The mindless sex not caring what happens to me etc.

Im currently in a long term relationship (15 years) and im finding intimacy very difficult. Relaxing is the hardest part. I usually fake it if I cant finish. But its getting me down now.
 
Miho

Miho

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Have you talked about it with your partner? I am sure that your partner would want to try there best to help you in any way possible so you can enjoy it again.

If I knew my partner did not find it relaxing or had trouble enjoying it it would make me so sad.
 
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Dagoon

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Have you talked about it with your partner? I am sure that your partner would want to try there best to help you in any way possible so you can enjoy it again.

If I knew my partner did not find it relaxing or had trouble enjoying it it would make me so sad.
He knows, we try different things. But I just don't have that connection with my body. He tries so hard to make me happy.
It is probably to do with my trauma but I was hoping it was the bpd so I would have more information. The trauma I had was many things over many years. I think I have disconnected from that part of me. Ill just have to ask for help from the doctors. But its embarrassing to talk about when they know you lol.
 
Miho

Miho

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I am a man so I can not even have a clue about your original question but I can talk about my experience with it.
When I am with a woman I get so worried if I am doing things right and if I am making sure she is enjoying it that I tense up. My muscles start to hurt and I can not reach an orgasme. It does make it that I can go for a long time but with muscle pain for days.
And its true for me that if the other person enjoyed it I am over the moon and happy. But it does leave me not in the moment and not able to enjoy it to the fullest.
Sorry if this is to much information. I was nervous since friday thinking if I should write this down.
 
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Dagoon

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I am a man so I can not even have a clue about your original question but I can talk about my experience with it.
When I am with a woman I get so worried if I am doing things right and if I am making sure she is enjoying it that I tense up. My muscles start to hurt and I can not reach an orgasme. It does make it that I can go for a long time but with muscle pain for days.
And its true for me that if the other person enjoyed it I am over the moon and happy. But it does leave me not in the moment and not able to enjoy it to the fullest.
Sorry if this is to much information. I was nervous since friday thinking if I should write this down.
No this is fine. The more information the better, its a very taboo subject so I was nervous to start this thread. But im aware how my mental health feels for me and how that effects many aspects in my life.
But until I speak to others im unsure if this is "normal" or not. When I shared my life story with my counsellor I laughed. They said. Why are you laughing. I actually said I have no idea and the realisation that it wasn't a normal upbringing hit me hard and I burst into tears.
So sharing is good for us.
 
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WhySoSerious

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Good question...

There isn't a huge amount of data on sexual drive and women with BPD. That said as there are some links with abuse and some BPD individuals it would make sense that maybe there is a knock on effect in terms of being able to tolerate sexual relationships. I tend to find many people with BPD are over-sexualised if anything; I have been more than promiscuous, always in the context of feeling lonely and uncared for.

At the same time medications played havoc with my sex drive once I started on anti-depressants. For men - at least - many anti-depressant medications dull your ability to er finish or feel a sense of satisfaction sexually. I suspect there is a similar difficulty with females.
 
D

Dagoon

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Good question...

There isn't a huge amount of data on sexual drive and women with BPD. That said as there are some links with abuse and some BPD individuals it would make sense that maybe there is a knock on effect in terms of being able to tolerate sexual relationships. I tend to find many people with BPD are over-sexualised if anything; I have been more than promiscuous, always in the context of feeling lonely and uncared for.

At the same time medications played havoc with my sex drive once I started on anti-depressants. For men - at least - many anti-depressant medications dull your ability to er finish or feel a sense of satisfaction sexually. I suspect there is a similar difficulty with females.
Hi my heading on this thread is very misleading I think. But I was nervous putting it out there fresh and new.
I have the same over sexualised behaviour of BPD. Having sex or instigating sex for my abandonment needs etc was never a problem. I would have sex just because I could. And get all upset when it amounted to nothing etc.
My problem was to let myself enjoy the experience. Im was warm blooded horn dog on the outside ice queen on the inside.
But reading your response has had the effect I was hoping for. And that's clarity on what I need to work on. It was difficult having the symptoms of pbd and the symptoms of having been sexually abused. It was like polar opposites. I can understand now why I was so torn.
Always wanting to make others happy and fulfilled but neglecting my own needs.

Thank you. That has helped.
 
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