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BPD ADHD. Helloooo I’m Samantha

isthereafix

isthereafix

Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
11
Location
Kansas
Let’s start with this.
I’m sam. 22. Bright happy individual seemingly to others, unless I have an obvious stressor in my life.. then I will weep for myself looking for the pity of my peers, of which i use to validate how I am feeling to be normal or OK.
And just as of today I have finally after a year of being diagnosed, finally finally finally have actually looked into it.
I dazed out what my psychiatrist was saying about it because she had such a cute little Asian face and she was so petite and I was so impressed by her and she carried so. ugh. Elegant. She was incredible. But for some reason my adoration or maybe envy??? kept me from listening to important sh*t about myself. Lol. Great.
So as I’m here, on the internet, researching, discovering and bawling... I have an exact explanation as to why all of my relationships SUCK but are AMAZING at the same time. I need. Attention. I FREAKING. Need. Attention. And! Validation. So much. I never understood myself but now I REALLY don’t. I just have some explanation as to how I am and my brain being the root of it. It’s almost as if I’m reading about myself.. but it’s not me. Some separate person that I associate As me, but .. in a different body or light? I dunno. Hard to explain. I’m nuts. That’s what I will always fall back on and laugh at because if I’m not laughing I am bored. Or angry. Or depressed. I have some maaaaajor things going on in my life right now and I’m highly suicidal, more so than ever. I have my plan, I have my equipment... i have not followed through. I need freaking support/interaction/attention b e f o r e I finally build up the courage to do it. So that being said I’ll be back with my own thread, here in a couple hours maybe.

say hi. I need friends.
 
isthereafix

isthereafix

Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
11
Location
Kansas
Midnight— so far I am keeping alive. I think I’ll probably be okay. I dunno, ask me in 30 minutes LOL. Thanks for the welcome.
Sadgirl— thank you, beautiful. ❤
 
toutatis

toutatis

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
472
Location
Auckland, NZ
Hello Sam, and a very warm welcome to you.

Stay strong in your spirit and keep reaching out please, you're on the right path.

Welcome!
 
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