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BPD & Acting Out

D

Devon

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2009
Messages
148
Location
Devon
Does any one else here have problem with acting out of violent impulses ?

Although often my anger is self-directed sometimes it goes outward ?

Obviously this is a problem but what to do ?
 
dib4uk

dib4uk

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Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
2,182
Location
south london,england
Devon,

I totally understand where your coming from.

For example, you go to the shops, you enter the shop and cant find what your looking for, people start getting in your way, you start to loose your patients, then you find what you are looking for, something happens- a child starts to cry loudly- which gets on your nerves.

You pay for the items and the shop keeper takes too long in giving you change- because you're starting to panic and want to leave the shop.

You manage to get home - and the first person you see is your wife/mother/husband/dad/siblings etc and you snap.


Then they say- dont have a go at me?
Or it could be that while your at the shops the shopkeeper says something nice and friendly but you intererate it as he's having a go at you and you snap at him.

IS that how it is for you?
 
D

Devon

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2009
Messages
148
Location
Devon
Yep, that can often be the case.

The problem being that when I am "well" I understand my problems and have insight and can discuss things rationally but I can go downhill so quickly and then everything changes.

Things become so black & white, Yes or No and no middle ground
 
A

anastasia

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Joined
Mar 26, 2009
Messages
90
omg that's me too! i wish i could help you
 
P

penelope

Guest
Yup me too. When I first came onto the net I saw slight in most people. I couldn't open messages and felt that the people were going to say bad things about me.
I cringe at the answers I put.

It is hard and the feeling when you are there is like a tornado. I wish it wasn't like that.
I write down my feelings and thoughts and have been able to make sense of them. I could never see the difference between well and not well but now I think I do , so you have insight too.

Sorry no help really to your question :confused:

x
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
erm some of my behaviours are/have been appalling when im in the black and white train of thought :redface:

i have a very threatening manner (sometimes) and i scare the hell out of people all the time as can change very fast. when one person annoys me the whole world does and i can become very fixed on one individual and god they get it.

the flip side is im a nice, caring person generally. :D
 
M

mad as a hatter

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Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
i,m gettin like that myself with this anger i,ve got i,ve already threatened 2 kill 1 pdoc if she ever came bk near me again it,s mental i reckon half these people that say we got bpd disorder got worse traits than we ever will have i,m beginnin 2 wonder if there,s no grey area for me either must be black and white then so they say
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
im a nightmare when im angry. i threatened one of my kids teachers (my story behind is justified, as far as im concerned as they didnt even phone the police) but i do know it was appalling of me to lose it in that way looking back on it and wish i had been able to remain rational and not use violence to get my point across :redface:
 
P

penelope

Guest
Maybe to say kill is not the right thing to say. But at the time you are so frustrated . I had that anger a few weeks ago towards some one but do not direct it straight at them. I just think it.

If you say you want to kill someone then you can get labelled as dangerous and this leads to alsorts of problems regarding treatment.

If i knew the answers i would say. Keep in there and talk to us.

I know the teacher thing too. A few teachers were so arrogant in their behaviour towards me I lost it too.

:mad:
 
Wendy

Wendy

Well-known member
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
267
Location
South/East
Hi there,I have BDP but didn't know for years.
I used to lose it at work(totally inappropriate) if someone told me what to do.
Recently raring up at someone,saying I f**king want to kill you.
Problem is it happens so quickly I don't seem to realise till after!
Quite scary,the anger
Wendy x
 
P

penelope

Guest
I know the anger bit is a non control event I agree. I don't know why I suggested you think carefully about it as when I am in that rage I don't even know what planet I am let alone stopping and thinking.
Ignore my last post .

Well I do as I am described as 'dangerous' and do not want that to happen to anyone as I have never intentionally hit anyone . It is a shit when I need to go for a job. Oh you have a severe mental illness and you are dangerous , of course we will give you a job :(

Sorry rant over lol
 
dib4uk

dib4uk

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
2,182
Location
south london,england
I know the anger bit is a non control event I agree. I don't know why I suggested you think carefully about it as when I am in that rage I don't even know what planet I am let alone stopping and thinking.
Ignore my last post .

Well I do as I am described as 'dangerous' and do not want that to happen to anyone as I have never intentionally hit anyone . It is a shit when I need to go for a job. Oh you have a severe mental illness and you are dangerous , of course we will give you a job :(

Sorry rant over lol
Well that is a catch 22 situation, dangerous can mean many things. For example you have a flash of idea to cut your hair, to cook food but its not cooked properly, or you cut your hair too much and cut yourself...what I'm saying is that impuslivness? can lead onto dangerous behaviour.

The definition of dangerous- Actions which have a high risk of being harmful or injurious to oneself or others.

For me its self but for some people it could be directed at others.
 
P

penelope

Guest
I accidently knocked a police womans cheek as i grabbed my bag. I was charged with assault. Then it went to a conditional discharge. I've got notes on my medical files saying I am non compliant . I rarely talk to anyone let alone pofessionals. But they are wary of being with me due to risk factors .

I am not violent and am not a fighter of others. I direct it towards me.

I am working on getting these notes changed as it is a really serious problem.

Thats what I mean by what they perceive as dangerous. I haven't been able to say how it was but that will change.
So when you are diagnosed with a pd then they scrutinise every movement and log it accordingly.

Sorry for the drone :)
 
M

mad as a hatter

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
this anger thing is new 2 me in last 7 months i had my moments through the yrs but know it,s turned into utter rage especially at mh services i,ve already threatened 2 kill 1 pdoc so it,s a bit worry where this is heading for me i used 2 be such a calm and laid bk person where the heck has she gone my dad said 2 me bring the real u bk i couldn,t answer him i,m lookin for a fight all the time it,s sad really but i actually like it at times cause i feel i,m standin up for myself instead every 1 takin the piss out me i won,t put up with it ne more
 
D

Devon

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2009
Messages
148
Location
Devon
I know where you are coming from Penelope.

Once whilst I was in the in-patient unit I lost it and picked up a pool cue in the day room and went and walloped one of the consultants with it.

Obviously that was a bad thing and I am not proud of it but what worries me more was that there were clear signs of an aggressive build-up over a cause of five minutes that all of the other patients saw but none of the mental health staff observed.

One of the patients said she could almost see/feel/touch waves of distress & anger coming off me like sonar.

If un-trained people can detect this why the hell were the MH staff not picking up on it and acting to try and defuse a situation before it got to a flashpoint ??

Althoug the unit in particular which shall remain nameless has a very troubled past. There are regular incidents and one murder there in the past.

Changing the name of the unit will not cure the problem but it seems thats all they do. :mad:
 
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