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Boyfriend with depression - he doesn't think he has a problem



New member
Jul 8, 2009

I recently went to see my college councilor, because I thought my boyfriend might be depressed. My boyfriend is often quick to anger, he gets in really dark moods where he tells me that he hates his life, and that he feels like nothing every goes right for him. The councilor said that my boyfriend probably does have depression, but she said that until he realises himself that he has a problem, there's not alot I can say.

I've tried to talk to him before about his anger/mood problems. But when I do, he gets more upset, and says I'm making him feel like he's not normal, that there's something wrong with him. He doesn't think he has a problem - he thinks he's normal, and that he's angry because things go wrong in his life.

I don't know how to talk to him about his depression. I know the councilor says he has to realise he has a problem himself, but I'm worried he won't ever realise, and he'll just get worse. He's stopped going out to see our friends, he barely leaves the house, he's been handing in assingments late...

Has anyone had any experience, talking to others about their depression? How do you help someone see that they have a problem - without pushing them away?


New member
Jul 8, 2009

Hi, I have the same problem and I'm sorry but I wish I knew the answer. I wish I could just be happy and get on with my life! What I do find that helps is to talk to someone who really listens and understands. I cannot talk to my wife as she becomes to upset so I have to find someone that I do not know. When things go well I am feeling good, seems quite normal but I guess I am less able to cope with this. Setbacks in life are normal but they affect me really bad and I think that I overeact by being angry, moody and depressed.


New member
Jul 8, 2009
Yeah, it sounds like you are in a similar situation to my boyfriend. Thanks for replying, it helps me understand him a bit better.

I suppose the best I can do is be there for him, and listen to him, without getting to upset myself or pushing him away...

Problem is, he doesn't realise he has a problem, so he doesn't want to deal with it. =( How can he get better if he doesn't think there's anything wrong?


New member
Jul 7, 2009
Whatever you do, don't take it personally. I'm a 34 year old male and have had the same problem my entire life--I would admit the depression to myself but to no one else, I'd always blame other people or my surroundings.

I just came to this forum for the first time the other day and am finally going to try to get some counseling and try to take control. I've had a very difficult time maintaining relationships and friendships my entire life and just screwed up with another situation with a girlfriend......and am admitting that it was my fault for the first time.

It doesn't come easy for some of us guys.


New member
Jul 8, 2009
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It's really helping me to understand my boyfriend. It must be really tough feeling this way. I'll try to be there for him, but not push him too much.
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