Boyfriend with agoraphobia, panic disorder, social anxiety, anxiety

T

Thewaves

Member
Joined
May 17, 2019
Messages
7
Location
UK
#1
Hi everyone,

I’m not sure this is the right forum to post this but it would be wonderful to get some insight and advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for three-and-a-half years. We are best friends, understand one another and love each other very much. But we are at a crossroads. He’s battled severe anxiety for more than 20 years and although he has made progress during our relationship, has sought help and is open to further help, we haven’t spent time together beyond a 60-90-minute drive from home. He struggles with not wanting to feel how he can when he panics, and that is more difficult the further we travel away. He also likes to drive everywhere (we have been on a few very short train journeys). We can eat out but this isn’t always something he finds easy or relaxing.

I encourage and support him as much as possible but it can take a toll on my own wellbeing and I miss sharing things with him. I know he’d make a wonderful father but as someone who loves possibilities, to explore and experience new things, I’m concerned about the future and potential practical impact upon family life. I’m in my thirties and would ideally like a baby within the next five years so feel like time is ticking for me in that direction. We are very sad to be in this position but are currently taking time out to reflect upon what to do having talked about this for several months, and although I know it’s our decision to make, I would really appreciate any personal insights or experience that might inform my half of the decision. He has said to me that he will try and work on things during this time. We have a friend’s wedding coming up that will take place about three hours from home and this is a target for us to go together. It will be incredible if we can do that but I know that even if we do, it might take a long time to do the things that we would love to share together and that it might not ever be possible to do those things together.

Thank you so much for reading.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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Dec 26, 2015
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#4
Gee in days of old when the pace of life was slower and the bar of expectations wasn’t so relentless….

The only thing I can say is that you need to keep an eye on your own mental health so as not to deplete yourself as well.

I was hoping someone else would come along and chat ...anyway...
 
T

Thewaves

Member
Joined
May 17, 2019
Messages
7
Location
UK
#5
Thank you for replying and for your advice. It does impact my own wellbeing and that’s also why I’m concerned for the long-run. It makes me sad that this should have such an impact on both of us as all of the good stuff is there within our relationship.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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#6
0k so is he having counselling? he needs to start making some changes to show that he is committed to the long term.
 
T

Thewaves

Member
Joined
May 17, 2019
Messages
7
Location
UK
#7
He has been to counselling while we have been together but not for a while now. He is up for trying different things and has said he will try things while we are taking time apart so will wait to see what happens.
 

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