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Boyfriend Trying To Understand Anxiety



New member
Feb 13, 2020
Hi Everyone,

I've been with my girlfriend for over 3 years now, it's been very difficult for us from the beginning as she's from Australia and I'm from the UK. We did long distance for about 6 months and with my own issues and her anxiety it wasn't easy, but we made it. She moved to London and we have had many ups and many downs. I dont think I've ever truly understood her anxiety and how it affects her, it mainly comes up in arguments on how she deals with things which is never good and havent had a proper conversation on how she needs to deal with things until recently. The last 6 months we have been on and off. The last few months she has had A LOT of stuff going on at home with family sickness etc. Considering how far away she is from home this has made it very hard for her. She started to want space and time alone and I started to feel as if she didn't want me, so I kept pushing to see her and saying I feel like she doesn't want me. We ended up having a discussion to sort it all out. She said I said everything she needed to hear but she didn't feel any better or different. She then gave me a hall pass as I was going to Amsterdam that week, which I took very badly and we argued again 2 days later. When I got back from Amsterdam she decided to end it with me. She keeps saying I'm the love of her life but she doesn't see it working.

I've been listening to as many podcasts and videos as possible on understanding anxiety before and I don't think I've ever realised quite how much things affect her. Is the breakup a fight or flight kind of response ? Is it making her see me as a threat/danger so the solution is to get rid of me? I've bought a book called 'The Worry Trick' which I'm going to read over the weekend. Does anyone have any recommendations on books or articles etx

What do you all think?

Also big respect to everyone suffering from various types of anxiety, 've learnt a lot.


Well-known member
Dec 4, 2019
I really don’t know but it sounds like you’ve tried to understand and be there for her. Does she have any other support nearby? Can she talk to her family about how she’s feeling? I guess you can let her know that you are still there for her as a friend for support x