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Boyfriend now on the cusp of leaving me - abusive housemate situation update

katya

katya

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Boyfriend now on the cusp of leaving me - abusive housemate situation update

In an update to this thread, my boyfriend is now on the cusp of leaving me.

I've gone to my mum and dad's and will be staying at my colleague's in order to remove myself from the abusive situation at our shared house.

My boyfriend sees this as me abandoning him because he has nowhere else to go. He thinks I've not handled the situation properly by leaving so abruptly (I had to be sent home from work because I was too distressed by the situation to teach). He doesn't want a "weekend relationship" and he thinks the only outcome will be for him to get a one-bedroom flat at the end of our tenancy, because he's unwilling to move out with me until I have a secure job for September (I have a year contract at the school I'm at).

I don't know what to do?

I'm finally putting myself first by getting out of this situation, but that seems to be alienating my boyfriend whom I love very dearly. I don't want to lose him, but at the same time I know I can't stay in that abusive environment and secure my job and secure both our futures.

He seems unwilling to budge on this...

I think this might actually be the end. I'm trying desperately now to get him to see it from my point of view and to compromise a bit - I shouldn't be expected to put up with that situation and he should be the first person trying to get me out - but I honestly don't know whether he will.

This is fucking terrible.
 
katya

katya

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Now he's unwilling to speak to me for a week while he thinks things through.

I can't complain at that because I'm asking for a lot by leaving I guess. But aaaaaaaarhghhhhffffffffffffffffff
 
Jimny

Jimny

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Hi Jruth, this is easy for me to say but far from easy for me to do.
Try to take the time at your parents as time to try and chill and distance yourself from this mess. Give the situation and your boyfriend the time, it will help you to step back. x
 
katya

katya

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Hi Jruth, this is easy for me to say but far from easy for me to do.
Try to take the time at your parents as time to try and chill and distance yourself from this mess. Give the situation and your boyfriend the time, it will help you to step back. x
Thank you. Tell me about it; it's so different on the other side. I think the space will help. Just got to get through the pain of it all. AHjhsdb
 
katya

katya

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I totally get where he's coming from; he's got nowhere else to go and I've left him in the shit after causing a shitstorm. I'm not blaming myself for leaving, but still. It must really hurt from his side.

I just hope he's pissed off at the moment and he'll get over it and see some sense.

We couldn't have gone in in that shithole.
 
Jimny

Jimny

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As bad as it seems, you need to look after yourself. It won't do you any good to remain there.
He will see sense, I'm sure.
 
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