- May 15, 2017
I already made a legnthy post about my boyfriends criticism and potential gas lighting. The latest turn of events is an accusation that makes me feel as if I'm banging my head against a wall. My boyfriend and I have been on separate family holidays, before we both left I felt there was tension between us. So whilst away I decided to do my own thing and let him do his and create some needed space between us. He has been steadily complaining about my reduced contact (I have actually been busy I've just not been going out of my way to connect to wifi etc) I have continued to be busy. I've felt better to be honest. He has then accused me of talking to someone else or spending time with another man. Which 100% is not true. I have reassured him and then told him I felt we needed space so I've been letting him enjoy his holiday. He did not accept this and has been accusing me of speaking to other guys online. I wanted to air it out with him but he has called me a liar and said I'm not honest or trustworthy. These accusations stem from a few weeks prior. A creepy guy who I am neighbours with messages me asking me out etc I have told him I have a boyfriend and do not want to talk to other men. I don't want to block him because we are neighbours and it will be a bit awkward. He's harmless really and everyone in the town regards him as a bit of a creep. My boyfriend demanded to see the messages from him. Now to get rid of the creep I said to him "my boyfriends a bit jealous so maybe don't talk to me at all its not fair on him" I said this so he would get the message and he hasn't talked since. I didn't want my boyfriend to see this message so when he demanded to read the conversation I avoided letting him see because I didn't want a huge argument. In the end I relented and we had the argument anyway and he gave me a lecture on lying to him. I apologized. The next night a male friend text me and by instinct I jerked my hand to hide it. I had to get up for five in the morning for work and I didn't want any petty arguments as the last one took up 3 hours of the night. He demanded to know who it was. I said it was the male friend and even showed him the message. He then proceeded to argue for hours once more about my lying. I apologized and explained I didn't want to argue and that it was a knee jerk reaction. I haven't lied to him about any messages since and I'm not doing anything disloyal anyway, I've made it clear to any male friends or people who ask me out that I'm taken and they mostly back off. Now my boyfriend is accusing me of being a liar again and again and we had a big argument tonight. He said I'm the "most difficult person to have an adult conversation with" "I'm untrustworthy and it's my fault he cant believe me and I need to not lie for 2 weeks" I have apologized and said what can I do to make you trust me? I recognize its my fault but I can't take it back? I'm sorry I lied but it came from a place of not wanting to argue. He then proceeded to tell me in a very condescending tone the story of the boy who cried wolf. I asked him to stop but he wouldn't. I'm at a loss. I've made some silly mistakes but I truly haven't been going behind his back. In fact, when I try to reassure him he doesn't seem interested he only seems intent on telling me what I liar I am. I presume someone with a legitimate concern about cheating will say exactly what they think and feel and not give a sermon with an added fable to boot ... He quickly switched and said "when do you want me to come round" and has sent me a sweet text. I'm so confused and a bit disturbed.