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boyfriend having depression. long story. but i really need advice.



New member
Aug 18, 2009
im at my wit's end right now.

i had a good friend in high school, and we were best of friends since 17. now we're both 20. i really care for him.

he had a girlfriend then, and they dont seem to get along. he started skipping school for months, skipping outside school activities that we both joined (which was complusory to gradute.). and he got really depress. he wouldn't talk to counsellors, teachers, friends, family or even his girlfriend.

he only turned to me. and at then i tried to talk to him. listened to him.
he finds no purpose in studying and going through with education. but no matter how much i said. how much i made him promise to go school. he just didnt go. and in fact he didn't find me unless he had a quarrel with his girlfriend, or if he was in trouble. i felt used and i decided to leave him be.

nearly a year later, he says he misses me and in fact, was in love with me all along. (while he was with his girlfriend) and that his girlfriend was a mistake.

to cut the story short. we got together after they broke up.
but i had to go overseas to study.
and he had to go army.

it was tiring being his girlfriend. he had a lot of anger problems. he would punch things (and broke his hand once) he would nit pick at my words and throw a tantrum. he would swear at me. lie to me. he dumped me several times. and he cheated on me.

but after a while, he would want me back. and then be nice for a while before the cycle starts again.

i tried being by his side coz i know he needed someone around to be there for him. and i really love him. but i got really depress myself, having to handle the new environment as well, i lost 11kg. i dont sleep well. i dont eat. i cry all the time. and i feel so exhausted and worn out.

im not trying to gain pity for myself. im just trying to defend myself i guess.

'cause recently, he dumped me again ( i wouldnt agree to him having flings with girls.) and i decided to really leave for good. ending our 1year 5months relationship.

however, he said he needed to talk to me yesterday because he was feeling really depressed.
he skipped army without leave, and was charged to confinement.
and he felt like running away from the country.
he said "you think i've been out with girls? im just depressed"

and i got a bit heated and tried to defend myself. which he decided to swear at me and left.
and i ignored his messages after. i told him to see a doc though.

am i too harsh? should i be there for him at this time for him? am i too mean? maybe he cant help it with his depression. and no one else is there for him.

im drowning in guilt. and i really wanna know is there any way to help him?

he's also a complusive shopper and he thinks he's really insightful and has a big ego. which results to a massive reaction with the slightest hurt of his pride. (i read somewhere these are symptoms of depression)
and he watches comedies complusively, as he says he's trying to cheer himself up.

can someone shed some light on this issue?
some help?

im really really tired.


Well-known member
Aug 8, 2008
I can't be much help, but willing to be a listening ear.
I have msn if you want to chat.

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