• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

boyfriend having depression. long story. but i really need advice.

M

ms3

New member
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Messages
1
im at my wit's end right now.

i had a good friend in high school, and we were best of friends since 17. now we're both 20. i really care for him.

he had a girlfriend then, and they dont seem to get along. he started skipping school for months, skipping outside school activities that we both joined (which was complusory to gradute.). and he got really depress. he wouldn't talk to counsellors, teachers, friends, family or even his girlfriend.

he only turned to me. and at then i tried to talk to him. listened to him.
he finds no purpose in studying and going through with education. but no matter how much i said. how much i made him promise to go school. he just didnt go. and in fact he didn't find me unless he had a quarrel with his girlfriend, or if he was in trouble. i felt used and i decided to leave him be.

nearly a year later, he says he misses me and in fact, was in love with me all along. (while he was with his girlfriend) and that his girlfriend was a mistake.

to cut the story short. we got together after they broke up.
but i had to go overseas to study.
and he had to go army.

it was tiring being his girlfriend. he had a lot of anger problems. he would punch things (and broke his hand once) he would nit pick at my words and throw a tantrum. he would swear at me. lie to me. he dumped me several times. and he cheated on me.

but after a while, he would want me back. and then be nice for a while before the cycle starts again.

i tried being by his side coz i know he needed someone around to be there for him. and i really love him. but i got really depress myself, having to handle the new environment as well, i lost 11kg. i dont sleep well. i dont eat. i cry all the time. and i feel so exhausted and worn out.

im not trying to gain pity for myself. im just trying to defend myself i guess.

'cause recently, he dumped me again ( i wouldnt agree to him having flings with girls.) and i decided to really leave for good. ending our 1year 5months relationship.

however, he said he needed to talk to me yesterday because he was feeling really depressed.
he skipped army without leave, and was charged to confinement.
and he felt like running away from the country.
he said "you think i've been out with girls? im just depressed"

and i got a bit heated and tried to defend myself. which he decided to swear at me and left.
and i ignored his messages after. i told him to see a doc though.

am i too harsh? should i be there for him at this time for him? am i too mean? maybe he cant help it with his depression. and no one else is there for him.

im drowning in guilt. and i really wanna know is there any way to help him?

he's also a complusive shopper and he thinks he's really insightful and has a big ego. which results to a massive reaction with the slightest hurt of his pride. (i read somewhere these are symptoms of depression)
and he watches comedies complusively, as he says he's trying to cheer himself up.

can someone shed some light on this issue?
some help?

im really really tired.
 
R

riverofdragons

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 8, 2008
Messages
274
I can't be much help, but willing to be a listening ear.
I have msn if you want to chat.

hugs
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
L I was already depressed, then my boyfriend died next to me while we were sleeping. Depression Forum 16
D boyfriend going out for countless hours normal? Depression Forum 33
Beachgirl Depressed boyfriend...not sure what to do. Depression Forum 2
T Ex boyfriend ruined my life Depression Forum 3
L I'm pushing my boyfriend away with my depression Depression Forum 8
E Boyfriend struggling during lockdown Depression Forum 1
S Daughters boyfriend dumped her after 6 yrs Depression Forum 11
M Living a double life, being depressed and having to fake not Depression Forum 1
A Having a bad night Depression Forum 6
S Having dreams of a passed sibling. Depression Forum 3
M Having to fake Im doing good Depression Forum 20
M Having trouble with hygiene again Depression Forum 7
B Having a bad week Depression Forum 3
M Not having anyone to talk Depression Forum 34
G i have major depression disorder having no luck Depression Forum 6
avj2123 Having a bad day Depression Forum 2
M How much have you spent without having anyone to talk ? Depression Forum 7
J I am having mood swings,every now and then Depression Forum 4
B Depression mostly lifted, but I'm having sudden despair and suicidal urges. Depression Forum 3
moonperson having trouble understanding reality Depression Forum 2
Pisces12 Having everything I need but still feeling lost Depression Forum 17
sparrowling Having an overwhelming feeling of wanting to give up... Depression Forum 1
D Hi I'm new here and have suffered depression since early 90's Depression Forum 2
The_Sun_Shines Advice for you on loniless and depression Depression Forum 5
S obsession with depression Depression Forum 2
T Depression and studies Depression Forum 6
H Husband has depression Depression Forum 3
IcyShadow Poem about Depression Depression Forum 2
A Sexually based depression Depression Forum 9
A Suffering from a depression whose reason I don't realise. Depression Forum 13
P Cheating Spouse and Depression Depression Forum 6
Hardknocks88 New normal depression Depression Forum 1
M Depression and Narcissm Depression Forum 2
Barny67 Clarity after depression. Depression Forum 4
C Am I causing my girlfriend's depression? Depression Forum 11
J Depression and misguided actions Depression Forum 10
E Excessive sleep+depression+OCD= lost Depression Forum 2
C Loneliness and Depression Depression Forum 8
S My boyfriends depression has become worse and now he’s acting mean? Depression Forum 63
H At a loss - Not sure what else to try to help depression Depression Forum 6
L My Depression...and Yours Depression Forum 5
Carol1952 Sleeping a lot due to depression Depression Forum 11
M Agitated Depression Depression Forum 6
J Hello All. Living with someone in depression Depression Forum 1
J Depression and University Depression Forum 9
R What are signs of depression? Depression Forum 3
P Depression? Depression Forum 5
P Being Lonely With Depression Depression Forum 14
S How do you get out of a depression? Depression Forum 5
F Sleep and Anxiety / Depression Depression Forum 5

Similar threads

Top