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Boyfriend Drinking too much

Angels

Angels

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Joined
May 29, 2010
Messages
2,461
Location
Oblivion
hi im having some problems at the moment and i feel really nervous about posting after being away from the forum for so long but i feel like i need help with this.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 2 years, he has a 4 year old daughter who he only really sees at weekends. for as long as ive know him he has always enjoyed a drink but sometimes he will go too far and we have had many arguments about it.
He does not get violent when he drinks but he gets really loud, sometimes affectionate but sometimes argumentative and he will just talk and talk and it gets to the point where our romantic nights in turn into an annoying situation that ends in an argument.
i love him but i hate the way he becomes when he drinks. i have tried to make him aware of this and this weekend we were supposed to be staying together but now im sat in a carpark somewhere crying because he got drunk and when i told him to slow down he said people like me are the reason he drinks.
The argument was bad and i nearly went for him for the first time ever in our relationship and im not a violent person. i feel ashamed of myself but i feel torn about how much he drinks and how much potential he throws away each day when he picks up a can. He can be really hurtful and since friday night he hasnt stopped and he blames everyone else.

i think i just need to vent more than anything iv been in this carpark for about an hour now and i havent responded to his text messages because i dont want to carry an argument on while hes had a few.

i dont know if i can help him or how? he blames me and others and wont just admit that he needs to slow down

thanks for reading im going to try and calm myself and drive home
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
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13,529
Location
The West Country
Awh i'm sorry that this is really upsetting for you. Crying in a carkpark is not good. :hug:

There's really nothing you can do until he admits he goes overboard when he drinks. Unless he feels there's an issue, nothing will change.

I don't know, I don't want to say leave him because you've been with him for 2 years and i'm sure you don't want to end the relationship that easily.

Maybe someone else might be more helpful than I am. Just really wanted to reply because nobody else has yet. x
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
2,423
I agree with SomersetScorpio he needs to accept that his drinking is causing problems before things can start to change. Have you discussed it with him when he is sober. If he drinks daily or even if he binge drinks regularly he may be alcohol dependant which will mean it is difficult and dangerous to stop suddenly. He may benefit from seeing a specilist alcohol nurse (his GP can refer and there may evev be one who visits the surgery. My partner was alcohol dependant and is now sober, but he had to realise it was a problem first. Unfortunately alcohol dependancy seems to be socialy acceptable in our society so long as you are not sitting on a park bench at the time.
 

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