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BOYFRIEND Advice

K

Kaitlinb24

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2018
Messages
10
Hello Everyone,

I have been in a relationship with this man for 6 years.But I have been told that I might be getting (Emotionally abused) alot of (Verbal Abuse).

The beginning of our relationship was alot different then how it has been the past 2 years.Everytime I have tried to have a sit down conversation with him he calls it "Drama" or I'm drama" when I have things bothering me,Hes said things hurtful.He says he takes credit for his wrongs but I feel he does not.He apologizes but still proceeded to call me names.He has called me crazy,lazy,but his favorite word is calling me a "Retard.Which I know is not acceptable.But this has been going on for awhile,Recently tho i have been standing up for myself.He has constantly picked on me,Calls me names,He puts his feet in my face,and when I notice him sometimes he makes facial gestures making fun of me,When I tell him to "STOP" doing certent things he still does it.One night,He kept putting his "athletes feet" on me (gross) I know while on the couch,I told him to stop,So I lightly put my feet near his (sack) then he got so mad and grabbed me and kind of pulled my hand backwards and it kind of hurt for a minute" I told myself He can always get away with what he does and everytime I would let it slide" so this time i wrestled with him,and kind of showed him who's boss.Then he got in a rage and threw pillows at me hard.Whenever i stand up for myself like this he calls me a pysico.He has made me question my own sanity.I have had 2 nervous breakdowns in front of him which he has never seen before.This man has Hurt me in the past with other woman.I know I should have the guts to leave completely but I dont know what to do.

I have had a job the first 5 years of our relationship with him but have been out of work the past year.He complains about me not working of course.He says hes tired of supporting me but at the same time he doesnt fo nice things FOR me.No special occasions,Not even on valentines day or our Aniversary is this Normal? He has hinted to me that yes hes being a cheap ass.Crazy..

I dont care for luxury things,I just want a man who shows he cares and respects me,He does not make me dinner or breakfast ever,I am always the one cooking and cleaning and picking up after him,He leaves his clothes on the floor.

He has made it sound that the men work and this is a womans job and responsibility he gets it from his Father.

But yet he trys to act like a man,He is not able to do some things a man can do or cant "handle it" as I should say fixing pipe,He gets frustrated and Yells at me if I dont know what a 2inch pipe is while I've tried to help him.

My life with him could be a story book but I would really appreciate everyone's advice.

Also,He will ignore me like a child when hes upset and wont communicate.

Thank you xo
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
21,502
Location
Nowhere
I dont think its about nice anniversaries
or mens jobs being the diy , women doing the cleaning
that is all conventional nonsense

its about the verbal abuse
and he had knocked away your self esteem
so that you cant leave him

you need to get some help from like Victim Support or something
and yes you are worthy of that ...
his behaviour amounts to threats of violence
stopping short of the actual violence itself
but keeping you in a state of fear

you need to fight yourself to pull out of this ...

first port of call might be your GP

:hug5:
 
K

Kaitlinb24

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2018
Messages
10
I dont think its about nice anniversaries
or mens jobs being the diy , women doing the cleaning
that is all conventional nonsense

its about the verbal abuse
and he had knocked away your self esteem
so that you cant leave him

you need to get some help from like Victim Support or something
and yes you are worthy of that ...
his behaviour amounts to threats of violence
stopping short of the actual violence itself
but keeping you in a state of fear

you need to fight yourself to pull out of this ...

first port of call might be your GP

General pratisioners dont have all the answers but I could see a counselor about his behavior
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
21,502
Location
Nowhere
yes a counsellor would be just as good :hug:
 
Confusedandanxious

Confusedandanxious

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
890
Location
Uk
This definitely sounds like abuse to me. I have been there and it is truly awful. It took me a long time before my eyes opened and I realised what was happening.
It sounds like you are at that point now.
Contact womens aid if you can. They will be really helpful in ways of helping you make your next move.
As you have probably already noticed, the more you stand up for yourself, the worse his behaviour will get.
Which is why it's really important that you do seek some outside support, rather than facing this on your own.

Therapy helped me massively.
 
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