Bottom of the pit.

W

world away

Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2015
Messages
19
Location
Southern California
#1
Today is a horrible day. I can't feel anything but sadness, a friend of mine just committed suicide and I can't believe it. He never even talked about it, ever. I understand why people do it, I stumble and want to do it sometimes myself. But I just wish he would have said good bye. I wouldn't have tried to talk him out of it, when you want to do something like that, nobody can talk you out of it. But I would've offered myself up, I would've talked for hours if needed. I have other friends, but they view these feelings of depression as a passing thing, and they don't want to talk about it, especially about what happened to him. They'd rather ignore it and hope it doesn't strike them to do the same thing. I've bee trying to pick myself up, got a cat sort of as a contract with myself to go on living. But now, I'm adopting her out, even paying someone to take her, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel overwhelmed and I feel like I'm thinking through a fog.
 
W

world away

Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2015
Messages
19
Location
Southern California
#3
She helps, really does. But I don't think I can take care of her properly, I keep her food bowl and water dish full, and most days she makes me smile. But I just don't want something to happen and leave her all alone. Sometimes it's best to let go.
 
SarahD

SarahD

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
2,084
Location
UK
#4
Hi world away

so sorry to hear about your friend. It is hard to lose anyone important to us, but through suicide is particularly hard.

try to keep your cat if you can. Looking after another creature is good for us, especially when it is hard to care for ourselves. You will bond with her more and more and she will give you comfort.

is there anyone you can talk to about your friend? Maybe even a counsellor in a bereavement service?
 
W

world away

Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2015
Messages
19
Location
Southern California
#5
I have a counselling service I go to three days a week, but I feel uncomfortable talking to them about much of anything, I don't know why. Especially with this, they're kind of quick to suggest a stay in the hospital and that's something I definitely don't want to do.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
#6
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. You need to take time to grieve. There isn't anything wrong with feeling depressed now. It's perfectly normal considering what just happened. You could take weeks, you could take months to work out this grief. Find someone you can talk to.
 
W

world away

Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2015
Messages
19
Location
Southern California
#7
So, i'm keeping my cat, I couldn't stand it if something happened to her, and I talked to my doctor, I decided to take abilify by injection. He said it should start to work in two to three weeks, we shall see.
 
K

killswitchon

Guest
#8
often i have this mindset that nobody I know who is depressed would actually do it. that it happens to others but not the people I know. this post shakes me up. reality hits hard.

sorry for your loss. dont let the guilt consume you..
 
B

BeccaBelle

New member
Joined
Oct 16, 2015
Messages
4
#10
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know what it's like to lose someone, my childhood friend took his life a year ago and it still affects me to this day.

Try and take small steps in order to try and feel better, sort of like distractions, for example maybe getting an adult colouring book, listening to music, drawing, writing or reading. Or just have some quiet time and maybe learn some meditation/relaxation techniques.

Take care xx
 

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