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Borderline & Dependent Personality Disorder



Well-known member
Mar 6, 2010
Hey everyone.

So, I haven't been officially diagnosed with these two disorders, but I suffer from all of the symptoms(not just a few "traits"), and the symptoms severely affect me & my life.

I was told I have "Emotional Dysregulation" for now as I'm under 18 and cannot be diagnosed with a Personality Disorder.

I do struggle with the symptoms, (not saying I have the disorders at hand here, but the symptoms) and they really do affect my life severely.

I was hoping to talk to others who suffer from these disorders, either one or the other or both(I hear they typically go hand in hand), and perhaps we could PM one another(or talk on this thread) about it, about how they cope with the symptoms, more or less.

I do intend to see Adult Services in a few months, and to ask about being assessed for these two disorders, as the symptoms really are getting more & more out of control & distressing to cope with.

Thank you everyone.


Well-known member
Feb 20, 2010

Welcome to the Personality part of the forum! :welcome:

I was informed via a letter from a GP who didn’t know me that I had Dependent Personality Disorder – I was impressed, this was many years ago... I was a little annoyed to say the least, whilst there was a possibility I had a Personality Disorder it certainly was not a Dependent One!
I’ve been under the Borderline Label for a few years but it’s just been changed to Bipolar, but I do know a lot about Borderline, the treatments, the symptoms etc... so I’d be happy to answer any questions you have.

I am guessing your under the care of CAMHS at the moment and will switch to adult services when you are 18, have they started to plan the switch for you, so it goes smoothly for you, ideally they need to prepare you for the switch and make sure they have an appointment arranged for you with adult services, so there is a continuity of care.

The symptoms for Borderline PD vary from person to person but mainly there are 9 main things in the DSM-IV which is how a Psychiatrist would diagnose you, and you need to match 5 of those criteria for a diagnosis, most UK Psyches use the DSM-IV, you can view the info on Wikipedia

Borderline Personality Disorder



i was diagnosed BPII got given the mood stablizer (which i still take) and then over the phone the p-doc who hadnt seen me in over a year told my GP that i just had depression.

if i look up any of the PD i fit most, though fit aspergers, dont check anything anymore, so who knows, given up ever getting a dx, in therapy atm :confused:


Well-known member
Mar 6, 2010
I fit all 9.

I'm wondering about both of these Disorders, what has helped you personally cope with the symptoms you suffer from?


Founding Member
Apr 9, 2008
Hi sarey, I have been waiting for someone to post about dependant personality disorder, as i looked it up the other night and it just sounded just like it was describing my life! Although i havent been diagnosed with it, i will tell you some of the symptoms i have, see if you can relate at all?

I rely on my partner way too much. If we ever broke up i could not live.

I panic when left alone for too long because i dont know what to do with myself

Have previously had an addiction to self harming.

Believe i am usless and hopeless alot of the time, especially without company.

Need constant reassurance and praise otherwise i feel like i cant achieve things.

Need other people to make descisions for me because alot of the time i dont feel i can

I am dosile, highly emotional and sensitive. I am scared of hurting peoples feelings all the time and i hardly ever show anger in case i lose a friend or my boyfriend.

I dont like being in charge of anything and i am very self critical.

And those are just a few of them!!!

Hope this helps a little. Good luck x


Well-known member
Mar 6, 2010

I'll list my symptoms from the site, & then I'll explain why they apply to me.

  1. encouraging or allowing others to make most of one's important life decisions;
I do this for the majority of people I know, I go to them and I try to push decisions on them for them to decide for me. I also need a lot of reassurance and encouragement from others with decisions I make. I am very uncertain and insecure about decisions I make. Also very indecisive too.

  1. subordination of one's own needs to those of others on whom one is dependent, and undue compliance with their wishes;
With my surrogate dad who I'm very dependent on, mainly him I am dependent on, I do comply with things they want me to do, even if I don't want to do it, but this one isn't as severe as the others, sometimes I can even be defiant, but only if change is involved, or if he wants me to be more dependent on myself for whatever reason.

  1. unwillingness to make even reasonable demands on the people one depends on;
Can someone explain this to me so I'm sure I understand properly?

  1. feeling uncomfortable or helpless when alone, because of exaggerated fears of inability to care for oneself;
Yes x10000000000.

  1. preoccupation with fears of being abandoned by a person with whom one has a close relationship, and of being left to care for oneself;
Yes x10000000000.

  1. limited capacity to make everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others.
I've already stated I need excessive reassurance from others, especially my surrogate dad, regarding everyday decisions.

And, there are questions they tend to ask when assessing for DPD.

I'll give my answer.

  • Some people enjoy making decisions. Others prefer to have someone they trust guide them. Which do you prefer?
The latter.

  • Do you seek advice for everyday decisions?

  • Do you find yourself in situations where other people have made decisions about important areas in your life, e.g. what job to take?

  • Is it hard for you to express a different opinion with someone you are close to? What do you think might happen if you did?
Yes. It is hard.
I think there would be a fight, and I hate that we differ in opinion, and I get very anxious and insecure, and I fear things going very wrong, and I get very scared, and I fear them leaving.

  • Do you often pretend to agree with others even if you do not? Why?
I do sometimes, NOT all the time, sometimes I can be very opinionated, but when I do pretend, it's mostly due to the fact I fear arguments, I fear friendships breaking apart, I fear being left alone, I fear anger and upset.

  • Do you often need help to get started on a project?

  • Do you ever volunteer to do unpleasant things for others so they will take care of you when you need it?
Not sure what "unpleasant things" mean.

  • Are you uncomfortable when you are alone? Are you afraid you will not be able to take care of yourself?
Yes, and yes.

  • Have you found that you are desperate to get into another relationship right away when a close relationship ends? Even if the new relationship might not be the best person for you?
Yes, and yes.

  • Do you worry about important people in your life leaving you?

It's actually very severe for me, and I feel that without my surrogate dad(who I'm the most dependent on), I'll be dead, and I'll kill myself.
I'm that dependent on him...
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