
Brimble
Member
Founding Member
Hi folks
Part of my social anxiety has to do with blushing - it gets out of hand for me and I despair of the problem. So much so I read on the internet about a treatment using Botox injected into the cheeks to reduce facial redness and I went for the treatment.
What a terrible mistake. The Botox collapsed the lower part of my face effectively making my top lip curl around my top row of teeth - I looked a bit feline/lion like and certainly disfigured. The effects have worn off a lot but the shock of the facial disfigurement almost sent me to heaven. I soldiered on just going to work (I was working in a private hospital and knew the medical staff had seen worse) but I avoided family. Never told them about how I couldn't cope with the blushing so I felt even more insane and alien.
Now what I tried to cover up - confided in no one but my GP - is out in the public domain and I feel an object of ridicule. I looked so weird folks couldn't fail to notice and I had the misconception that I was into vanity regards the Botox - couldn't work out whether to say "yes I am vain" rather than "I am shy and desperate for confidence" The hospital clerical staff ostracised me even more - mind you we didn't need a high intelligence (or high morals) as ward clerks so I pity them. But the sound of the ridicule still rings in my ears.
This experience has made my social anxiety much worse so I wanted to warn those similarly affected by blushing. I avoid social interaction more than ever and my family relationships have broken down - I didn't want them to know. So beware of what looks like a "quick fix" with all aspects of social anxiety.
Luckily The Open University sticks by me so it is entirely down to the organisation that I am still here! I should have a BSc in the next year or two. I study the social problem class from the Industrial Revolution to today and this is my only lifeline. I come from a mixed class family but am certainly an oddity - find it hard to fit in sometimes hence the fear of interaction.
I look after some wonderful kids a couple of afternoons a week and never get socially anxious with them - I have to snap out of it for them and amaze myself that I can. I can put everything into their welfare and forget about the cruelty of society towards us misfits. Kids are not prejudiced against diversity/difference - society eventually builds it into them.
Hope all is well with other forum users - would love to know if anyone has made a breakthrough with the social "nerves".
Thinking about Mad Hatter's comments I must say my neighbours are all OK and accept my brief but polite interaction as me being me. Next door have just had a beautiful little baby girl and that is something I can celebrate with them! Going to pop in and see her next week. Somehow I can put kids above social anxiety and cope - don't ask me how!
Take care
Brim
Part of my social anxiety has to do with blushing - it gets out of hand for me and I despair of the problem. So much so I read on the internet about a treatment using Botox injected into the cheeks to reduce facial redness and I went for the treatment.
What a terrible mistake. The Botox collapsed the lower part of my face effectively making my top lip curl around my top row of teeth - I looked a bit feline/lion like and certainly disfigured. The effects have worn off a lot but the shock of the facial disfigurement almost sent me to heaven. I soldiered on just going to work (I was working in a private hospital and knew the medical staff had seen worse) but I avoided family. Never told them about how I couldn't cope with the blushing so I felt even more insane and alien.
Now what I tried to cover up - confided in no one but my GP - is out in the public domain and I feel an object of ridicule. I looked so weird folks couldn't fail to notice and I had the misconception that I was into vanity regards the Botox - couldn't work out whether to say "yes I am vain" rather than "I am shy and desperate for confidence" The hospital clerical staff ostracised me even more - mind you we didn't need a high intelligence (or high morals) as ward clerks so I pity them. But the sound of the ridicule still rings in my ears.
This experience has made my social anxiety much worse so I wanted to warn those similarly affected by blushing. I avoid social interaction more than ever and my family relationships have broken down - I didn't want them to know. So beware of what looks like a "quick fix" with all aspects of social anxiety.
Luckily The Open University sticks by me so it is entirely down to the organisation that I am still here! I should have a BSc in the next year or two. I study the social problem class from the Industrial Revolution to today and this is my only lifeline. I come from a mixed class family but am certainly an oddity - find it hard to fit in sometimes hence the fear of interaction.
I look after some wonderful kids a couple of afternoons a week and never get socially anxious with them - I have to snap out of it for them and amaze myself that I can. I can put everything into their welfare and forget about the cruelty of society towards us misfits. Kids are not prejudiced against diversity/difference - society eventually builds it into them.
Hope all is well with other forum users - would love to know if anyone has made a breakthrough with the social "nerves".
Thinking about Mad Hatter's comments I must say my neighbours are all OK and accept my brief but polite interaction as me being me. Next door have just had a beautiful little baby girl and that is something I can celebrate with them! Going to pop in and see her next week. Somehow I can put kids above social anxiety and cope - don't ask me how!
Take care
Brim