''Black and white thinking...''

[Vegay]

I don't understand whilst BPD thinkers are wrong and ''regular'' thinkers are right? Like surely our thinking is more accurate? Or am I just being ridiculous?

 

[jajingna]

What is "accurate" thinking? Sounds mathematical.

 

[Vegay]

Maybe ''accurate'' wasn't the appropriate terminology to use in this instance.
What I mean to say, is that ''black and white'' thinking is considered to be an ''extreme'' and ''irregular'' thought process. I'm just querying why? I have never bothered to question it before...

Maybe it is because I am diagnosed with BPD, I don't know. However, there are some times or situations, where I can't see why ''black and white thinking'' is ''wrong'' per say.

 

[Nukelavee]

Well, in the context of BPD, it's because you go from super positive about someone or something, to super negative, and back, for no real reason.

Plus, not all situations come down to simple this or that choices, compromise is always an option.

 

[Vegay]

I do understand all of that, of course.
Maybe I'm just being facetious today, I don't know.

I guess I just sometimes question why everyone else, DOESN'T think in black and white?
ugh

 

[00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)]

I go through this with the mother. Always thinks she right, I just agree and nod. Hphmmm

 

[00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)]

I think in colors all the time. For mood swings and anxiety.

don’t understand black and white thinking

 

[Vegay]

I didn't mean it specifically in black and white so I'm not saying that I'm right or wrong or that anyone else is right or wrong.
I'm simply just questioning why my way of thinking or even your way of thinking is supposedly not the ''right'' way of thinking y'know?

 

[00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)]

I didn't mean it specifically in black and white so I'm not saying that I'm right or wrong or that anyone else is right or wrong.
I'm simply just questioning why my way of thinking or even your way of thinking is supposedly not the ''right'' way of thinking y'know?

All or nothing thinking. Like having spontaneous thinking.

 

[Vegay]

Well, in the context of BPD, it's because you go from super positive about someone or something, to super negative, and back, for no real reason.

Plus, not all situations come down to simple this or that choices, compromise is always an option.

Yes, I totally get this when I'm thinking rationally. I guess I'm just in a bit of a mood today.

 

[Vegay]

I am going to use an example, which is a little annoying as it is related to an ex partner but this isn't about them, this is just to use the situation as an example.

So this ex partner told me I was the love of their life, they would never be with anyone else, I was the one, all that jazz etc. Fast forward and now she tells someone else she loves them, calls them the one and her girl etc. My POV is that I said those things to her too and I have stuck to those sentiments 2 years later.

Yet I'm in the wrong for believing in and keeping those promises literally?
Surely she should be in the wrong for not meaning those things?

Again this is just as an example.

 

[Vegay]

I'm not looking to talk about the relationship or anything but simply trying to discuss the differences in alternative thinking processes.

 

[Nukelavee]

Yet I'm in the wrong for believing in and keeping those promises literally?
Surely she should be in the wrong for not meaning those things?

You aren't wrong.

but, it's an aspect of BPD to take those kind of statements to heart, I know I do. And I do feel betrayed when people act like changing their tune is no big deal.

I get what you are saying - Being the villain for reacting strongly, while the person who caused the reaction get to act blameless.

 

[shosh]

I am going to use an example, which is a little annoying as it is related to an ex partner but this isn't about them, this is just to use the situation as an example.

So this ex partner told me I was the love of their life, they would never be with anyone else, I was the one, all that jazz etc. Fast forward and now she tells someone else she loves them, calls them the one and her girl etc. My POV is that I said those things to her too and I have stuck to those sentiments 2 years later.

Yet I'm in the wrong for believing in and keeping those promises literally?
Surely she should be in the wrong for not meaning those things?

Again this is just as an example.

i suppose the problem of the black and white thinking in your example comes into play in not accepting that the things said at one time were meant but that the person has changed their mind. And while that might be very sad for you, it is perfectly human and not a "wrong way of thinking"
Likewise it is not wrong to still be in love with someone after breaking up, but to think that because in the past the other person thought they would want to be with you forever, that they should still feel the same now and they are thinking wrong for changing their mind feels a very destructive way of looking at things. In this example, the black and white thinking sounds to me like it will cause you a lot of unnecessary pain for you because it means you are unable to let go of what was before and move on with your life. The love that you shared was real but it is no longer and that isn't something you can reason away through any kind of logic so in this example the black and white thinking is at odds with how life works sadly.

 

[Vegay]

I do get it and I understand that there is complexity within all of us.
I guess it is just frustrating sometimes.