Birthday .... mixed blessings.

J

JohnE

Active member
Joined
Dec 18, 2018
Messages
39
Location
Hampshire sunny South coast .
#1
Today is my birthday .
I have spent every birthday, Xmas and new year on my own fur over 20 years . Not because I had to because there were no people in my life. It was something have to do to cope .
I have already had suicidal thoughts today and feel on the brink of crisis .
Yet this year is a little different . I've had lots of cards and best wishes from neighbours and only be friends.
I've had some gifts too . Today I have actually engaged with people, I've popped round to see some of the elderly neighbours who I know care about me . Later on today I am allowing a friend to pop round to visit me with her son .
I'm not entirely sure if this is progress on my part or just a token acknowledgement that things can be different.
This is a time for not over thinking but experiencing and challenging , who know I may even start to enjoy letting people in to my life .... a little anyway .

Best wishes
John
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
8,174
Location
basketville
#3
Hey JohnE good don’t let the negativity win out that is the style. Me I am determined to smile a fake one at the mo. But it does make a difference

And those old people ….most likely they spend hours if not days alone and how much that must have meant to them, it’s the simple things John that make all the difference.

Yep definitely don’t go with the over thinking I caught myself doing that earlier …and stopped myself. Take it as it is a shaft of sunshine that has broken through. Don’t over think it. Our emotions are all over the place and the trip is to be patient and kind to yourself.

I am in a similar season most of this year has been very like a hermit. The thing with your emotions is that yeah that is great when you can do this. But like I say the trip is to build up the not so good emotions in that you don’t beat yourself up. they are a part of us unfortunately….integration material…we are brain washed to believe that these negative emotions are bad, (obviously if the thinking is suicidal then that is different) they make up part of the weft and weave of life’s tapestry
 
J

JohnE

Active member
Joined
Dec 18, 2018
Messages
39
Location
Hampshire sunny South coast .
#4
Hi Blacksmoke
It's all to easy to slip into the hermit lifestyle isn't it .

You are right about people being brainwashed over negative thinking patterns, fight them , distract yourself, don't let them win. In truth it can be a struggle but learning to accept them and and validate them can be helpful .

Thank you for the birthday wishes.
John
 
E

exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,757
#5
Hello to you John, just catching up with posts on the forum.
Belated birthday wishes, and so kind of you to say hello to the neighbours. A kind word goes a long way for all of us .
It is tough sometimes to keep going forwards but give yourself credit there for what you have achieved.
All good wishes:)