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Bipolar Partner, Tips On Helping Through Highs-Lows?

A

AllTheBigTrees

New member
Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Messages
2
Hi, everyone. I'm 19 years old and my girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 years now. In that time, I've found my soulmate, the love of my life, and the woman I'm sure I want to be with always. I'll understand if some might want to roll their eyes at that, but we're old enough to realize that the connection we have is real, and wonderful. We bond over pretty much everything, and have both struggled with anxiety, paranoia, and OCD tendencies, to varying degrees.

One thing that she alone has, though, is bp. She's been on medication/going to therapy/treatment centers for years now, and we suspected that it was bp she was struggling with, but it was diagnosed as such only recently during a med change. Details like that aside, though, I was hoping to maybe discuss coping skills to help both of us through this.

I'm no stranger to her mood swings, manic episodes, and crashes, and have been helping her through all of them for 2+ years now. But now that we know it's bp she's dealing with, I was hoping I could get some more specific advice on the subject. Most recently, I've found that playing it cool when she's having a crash and is angry or upset (and typically projecting it onto me) helps. And once I can be with her and we can sit and talk and help her get her emotions out in a healthier way (crying usually does the trick), she's stable and alright, until the next crash or manic episode of course.

Long story short, I'm no stranger to dealing with and helping my girlfriend through her mental illness, but I would really appreciate some more specific, bipolar-oriented general advice when it comes to making crashes as bearable as possible for both sides. Thanks in advance to anyone who can help.
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,043
:welcome: to the forum.

I hope you get the answers you are looking for.

Marliee x
 
A

AllTheBigTrees

New member
Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Messages
2
As do I! Thank you for the warm welcome, haha.
 
C

Cupofdreams

Member
Joined
Mar 10, 2015
Messages
9
Hi,
It's really endearing to read that you're reaching out to support your girlfriend, I hope I can help in some way... I met my partner before I was diagnosed, and I feel like at times I've put him through hell!
I can't say this for everyone because I'm sure some people will disagree with me, but I personally feel like mental illness as a whole is unique to each person, we may share the same symptoms but we all react differently to them. In terms of dealing with someone crashing, it's very subjective, and I think you already have the tools you need.
You have way more knowledge about your girlfriend than anyone here, sometimes it's as simple as a cuddle when she's upset. When I was diagnosed with Bipolar, I hid away from it and I had no idea how to handle it because I wouldn't face that it was a part of me. It was only when I decided to learn about my illness that I found ways of coping with it, and knowing what would make me feel better.
Don't be shy of talking to your girlfriend and asking her for help too, you're stronger if you face it together - and with knowledge of dealing with any situation that arises.
Questions you could be asking yourself or your girlfriend could be:
What are your triggers? Are there any signs that she's changing mood? what can I do when you're feeling really low? what can I do when you're in mania? Are there particular things I should or shouldn't say to you?

It may be a good idea to have a plan of action made by the both of you, for example: a list places where she can go (family) if she needs space, safe areas for her to calm down etc.

I wish there was a step by step guidebook on how to deal with these problems, but we are all individuals with different lives and experiences. I wish you all the best, and I hope I was helpful.
 
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