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Bipolar or BPD and terrified of meditation..

A

AMTxo1989

New member
Joined
May 8, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Maryland
Hi! Iam 32 years old. I have been suffering with crippling anxiety, mood swings and depression ever since I can remember. For many years I've been completely unmedicated. I briefly took wellburtin 10yrs ago and had to stop it for side effects.
I started xanex in 2017 and had to stay on it to keep me out of hospital from panic attacks. 2021 and im still on it bc I need it.
Besides the anxiety, I experience extreme lows and irritability 247 everyday. Than ill get a random burst of mania that pulls me out of the depression and the mania lasts for a few hrs than I crash and the depression cycle starts over again. I also get manic rage. Here's a better example , Mon and Tues im extremely depressed, tues night i randomly get hit with mania, im suddenly feeling great n euphoric, lasts a few hrs. I crash, wake back up, spend another 2 to 3 days not wanting to be alive than the mania pulls me back out. The mania is experience is different than the good mania, it's completely unexpected and typically something or someone else triggers it. I have a true, real phobia of starting ANY new meds..even antibiotics! My pysch said I could try Lactimal but iam completely terrified to take it. I have a panic attack just thinking about it and it's not bc just its Lactimal, any antiphysotic med (besides xanex) any advice at all??
 
S

SFGuy

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
257
Location
California
AMT, I'm sorry you feel phobic about mood stabilizers. It sounds like you might have a better life if you were on one. I have taken several and ended up on Depakote because it does the job with minimal side effects for me (some people hate it). Like you, I get intense rapid mood swings, even quicker than yours. The Xanax doesn't help me with that, but it cuts my anxiety enormously. The Depakote stops my mood switching, which Xanax doesn't. So I take an anxiety med and a mood stabilizer. I need both.

Lamictal is a mood stabilizer. I can't take it because I get side effects, but it's probably worth a try since it relieves the torture of mood instability for a lot of people and the side effects only bother a few.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
2,314
Location
England
Hi, welcome. Have you been given an official diagnosis for either of the things mentioned?
 
D

DimpleDebz

Active member
Joined
May 4, 2021
Messages
42
Location
Munich
Mmm I have both Bipolar and BPD and wouldn't consider doing this unmedicated now. I wasn't on anything up until 2 years ago and yes I have had massive weight gain recently but my life was a blur of depression, mania, codependency and breakdowns before it
 
W

Wanderer1988

New member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
4
Location
California
Hi! Iam 32 years old. I have been suffering with crippling anxiety, mood swings and depression ever since I can remember. For many years I've been completely unmedicated. I briefly took wellburtin 10yrs ago and had to stop it for side effects.
I started xanex in 2017 and had to stay on it to keep me out of hospital from panic attacks. 2021 and im still on it bc I need it.
Besides the anxiety, I experience extreme lows and irritability 247 everyday. Than ill get a random burst of mania that pulls me out of the depression and the mania lasts for a few hrs than I crash and the depression cycle starts over again. I also get manic rage. Here's a better example , Mon and Tues im extremely depressed, tues night i randomly get hit with mania, im suddenly feeling great n euphoric, lasts a few hrs. I crash, wake back up, spend another 2 to 3 days not wanting to be alive than the mania pulls me back out. The mania is experience is different than the good mania, it's completely unexpected and typically something or someone else triggers it. I have a true, real phobia of starting ANY new meds..even antibiotics! My pysch said I could try Lactimal but iam completely terrified to take it. I have a panic attack just thinking about it and it's not bc just its Lactimal, any antiphysotic med (besides xanex) any advice at all??
I take it and it actually works. I was recently hospitalized due to a severe episode but once they game me Latuda on top of it. I snapped out of it. I definitely believe that it can help but it’s not for everyone.
 
W

Wanderer1988

New member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
4
Location
California
I have bipolar anxiety depression disorder with PTSD. I was placed on Lamictal. I was fine until I was given Trazadone. That medication is the devil. It gave me brain fog, short term memory loss, I constantly lost my balance, faint spells and severe manic depression episodes that led to me being placed in a mental institution for a couple of days due to excessive suicide thoughts and psychosis. I was given Latuda along with 150 mg of Lamictal and I immediately felt better. I think this is the best combination for people struggling with this horrible disease.
 
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