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Bipolar girlfriend

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TrevK

New member
Joined
May 22, 2009
Messages
3
Location
Johannesburg, South Africa
Hello, everyone

I've been going out with a bipolar girl for the past 4 months, 6 weeks of which she spent in care getting her meds adjusted. She's beautiful, funny, very intelligent, and so sweet you want to dip her in your coffee. Needless to say, I love her to little, tiny, bite-size chunks.

I am primarily interested in coping strategies, since she has just realised that meds and therapy alone aren't going to cut it. Obviously, I'm not expecting magic bullets here, but if any of you have stories to share about how you made a connection or broke a cycle, I'd be glad to hear them. In the meantime, I'll be trawling posts for useful information.

A couple of words about K, just to put you in the picture: She's 33, employed full time as a salesperson in the flagship branch of a bookshop chain, reads a lot and runs for exercise. Fairly stable now, she has a history of jobs and relationships lost to this illness, which is one of the reasons why she's not in a position to be visiting this forum herself.

Thank you for listening.

Regards + best wishes

T.
 
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Dollit

Guest
It's quite difficult to say what breaks the cycle when every person has a slightly different illness. Because bipolar disorder is a spectrum illness the range of behaviours and effects is huge.

The reason you give for her not coming to the forum is actually one of the reasons people are more likely to visit the forum. They have personal losses and destructive lives and like to learn first hand. We can support you in your efforts to gain understanding but it's not easy to offer third party advice - a lot can get lost in translation.

She sounds to be functioning really well - does she know that you've visited here?
 
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TrevK

New member
Joined
May 22, 2009
Messages
3
Location
Johannesburg, South Africa
Thank you for the response, Dollit. K hasn't joined the forum herself because she doesn't have internet access, something I'm working to remedy. (Selling books isn't lucrative enough for her to afford a connection, let alone a laptop.)

I'm aware of how individualised an affliction it is, but there do seem to be coping strategies that work across the board. A good example would be exercise. K joined Walk 4 Life a while back and the sense of wellbeing it imparts makes her feel more resilient and more in charge. Something like NLP, on the other hand, only seems to help those who are predisposed to that sort of approach.

Yes, she knows I joined this forum.
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,623
Hello TrevK

Welcome to the forum
KS
 
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Dollit

Guest
I find with me what works best is the things that I have a passion for I try to keep hold of - my photos, music (though there are weeks that can go by sometimes when I can't listen to music), exercise is good.

Also other factors to look at are how severe the bipolar disorder is - some people (such as myself) can live quite reasonably with a severe case of it except for the times when it's almost uncontrollable but others find it difficult to cope with the milder symptoms. How high you function has to be considered, the higher you function the better you cope. Insight and knowledge helps.

Mindfulness is the one thing that gets me through most things.
 
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TrevK

New member
Joined
May 22, 2009
Messages
3
Location
Johannesburg, South Africa
Hi, Dollit. Can you expand on mindfulness for me? Is it the Buddhist concept of mindfulness? K is generally resistant to Eastern philosophy but perhaps I can reinterpret it for her.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
It's based on Buddhist mindfulness but isn't entirely their practice. Try this link for the best explanation you can get www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness

I'm very resistant to anything that I think is too fringe but I do find that it helps me enormously.
 
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