Bipolar Ex Cheated, 16 and Struggling with Hypersexuality (help!)

H

happybunny24

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#1
I’ll try to keep this as short as possible but I’m not sure how that will work out.

I was dating a girl who I think has Bipolar II. Although she is diagnosed and has been dealing with the disorder for a while (around 6yrs she says), I don’t think she has a very good support system. In the past she has abused prescription drugs and for two years now she has been abusing alcohol, which her parents know nothing about (she’s 16 so she lives at home). She also gets extremely hypersexual and would engage in risky behaviors online (often lying about her age in order to talk to older people) and even meeting up to have sex with one of these people on one occasion.

We dated for 5 months, long distance. We live in the same state and I would see her whenever I was in her area, even met her family. Everything was perfect for the first month until some mild symptoms started to show. She would flirt with anyone who showed her the slightest bit of attention, I would catch her in small lies, and she would put off any time that we had planned to spend together while away (skyping, calling, watching movies together online) for no reason at all. I wasn’t aware that some of these things stemmed from her bipolar and neither was she so it would lead to me suggesting a break or break-up. These usually only lasted a couple of hours or a day because she would always come back saying she loved me and she couldn’t stand to lose me and wanted to get better. Until about a month and a half ago she expressed that she didn’t think she was able to feel romantic feelings anymore, as if the particular emotion had just been completely taken away from her out of the blue. She thought she had “become” aromantic, yet she would get these random, profound bursts of appreciation and love for her friends (which she confused for crushes); just not for me, her girlfriend. Basically, she became very passive about me and our relationship for no reason at all. After researching, I found some sources stating that this was an effect of the bipolar. So, I wanted to work through it and kept trying to offer solutions to do so, but she started becoming cold and never wanted to talk about anything regarding our relationship. She began fully pushing me away, keeping herself more and more busy with friends and school, and our contact became less and less.

I later found out that while she was ignoring me she had made a Twitter under a fake name, posting explicit pics and audios of herself, vulgar tweets, and begging people to sext her. I confronted her and she admitted to sexting multiple people on the account, i.e. she cheated on me. She had explained that she doesn’t think she was manic at the time this happened as she sees hypersexuality and impulsivity as just “a part of her personality”. We broke up and during this she was so insistent on keeping the account up as if it mattered more to her than I did. She kept asking to remain friends, but I felt as though I could not do so while she was still using the account because this just felt like a huge slap in the face. Unfortunately, I know there are people and predators trying to take advantage of her through that account even though she’s only 16. From her tweets, I see she has experienced some slight bouts of depression since this all happened yet everyday she’s back on it doing the same things. I am just very worried because all of her closest friends seem to be enablers? They show no concern for her actions (cheating on me, abusing alcohol, risky behaviors online).

I know that she last changed her meds around June after a bad depressive episode, her cheating on me and our breakup all happened within the past two weeks. The problem is that she hides and doesn’t communicate some of her symptoms to her parents or doctors (her drinking and substance abuse as well as her hypersexuality). She just continuously settles for the fact that she is simply an asshole and a shitty person, which I do not believe. This was both of our first ever serious relationship and I do still love her but I recognize we are both extremely young. I am worried that if someone in her life doesn’t take this seriously it will turn into very strong habits and addictions by the time she’s an adult. I am wondering if there is anything I could have done or should do while we are no longer together or in contact. I was the only one who actively tried helping her and she would even say she knew I loved her the most and treated her the best out of anyone she knew, and now that I’m too hurt to even be friends I feel like I’ve completely abandoned her. I would feel intrusive and like it is not my place to contact her family. I’ve reported the account to Twitter multiple times for child sex exploitation but they don’t seem to take anything seriously. Any suggestions, feedback, or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated.
 
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Friendship

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#2
I have a good ground knowledge in psychology, and I can not hounestly say that - from what you have described - that your ex has any feelings that is abnormal for a sixteen year old. For many girls (and boys) it gets wild in those years. My advice to you is to carefully consider whether you are up to coping with her roller-coaster life. If you are exe you are exe. It is always difficult to continue as friends. And as it seems to me you are a calmer and more responsible person, you need to focus on moving on and getting a calm around you to focus on job or studies. I am very aware that love hurts sometimes, but you need a girl at your own mental level - she will pull throu.
Kenneth (46)
 
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