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bipolar disorder experiences?

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purpl3

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Hey! I have been reading a lot about bipolar disorder, the different types, symptoms etc. and came to the conclusion that i also struggle with some of the symptoms mentioned. I haven‘t been to therapy yet, but i‘m currently working on talking to a professional about my struggles. I don‘t want to self diagnose myself with bipolar or anything, but I‘d like to hear about the experiences of people who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Preferably, type 2. I‘d help me a lot if someone would tell me how they experience e.g. episodes of mania/hypomania and how their bipolar disorder is shown in their everyday life. Also, how severely do you experiences episodes of mania / hypomania and depression? Do they interfere with your everyday life a lot?
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Hi. Maybe it would be better if you told us what you experience?
 
JessisMe

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My experience is with Bipolar 1. Most of the time I am severely depressed. However about once every two years I suddenly have the desire to start a bunch of new businesses. I collect brochures on different areas of interest and get briefcases for each area of interest planning to work in that area. I get agitated and snappy with people who question me or my plans. I do things like a whole bunch of baking or tons of laundry. I come up with schemes to Save the World and actively try to put them into place. I start making all kinds of phone calls to people all up and down state government giving them my opinion on various things. I contact local lo business owners and share my ideas with them and do this with congressmen too. I spend countless amounts of time emailing people repeatedly to the point where I received charges for harassment over it. This is what characterized my last mania. It is similar to the one before. I also think that all of my friends are celebrities and make plans to do things with and for them. I reach out to them by email and also Instagram to communicate with them sometimes incessantly. I also thought that I could channel dead celebrities and would send the celebrities I thought I knew and was friends with the things that the dead celebrities would say. Anyway these are the sorts of things that my mania is characterized by. In general it is rapid, expansive, just too much of everything, grandiose delusions and the psychotic. After it goes away I crash into severe depression until it happens again. My last mania lasted almost a year and a lot of my life was destroyed during that time. Not to mention the hoarding and the spending sprees. If you think you have any form of bipolar Inwould get attention for it. It can be very destructive if it is left untreated and no one should take that risk. xo, j
 
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On Fire

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Hopefully you have found what was missing from your previous medication regime. Hopefully you get significantly longer than two years between manias. You might even find it does not happen again.
 
JessisMe

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Hopefully you have found what was missing from your previous medication regime. Hopefully you get significantly longer than two years between manias. You might even find it does not happen again.
That would be nice. 😊
 
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2Much2Feel

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Hey! I have been reading a lot about bipolar disorder, the different types, symptoms etc. and came to the conclusion that i also struggle with some of the symptoms mentioned. I haven‘t been to therapy yet, but i‘m currently working on talking to a professional about my struggles. I don‘t want to self diagnose myself with bipolar or anything, but I‘d like to hear about the experiences of people who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Preferably, type 2. I‘d help me a lot if someone would tell me how they experience e.g. episodes of mania/hypomania and how their bipolar disorder is shown in their everyday life. Also, how severely do you experiences episodes of mania / hypomania and depression? Do they interfere with your everyday life a lot?
Hey, pupl3, welcome and I hope you get some info that helps, but yeah, seeing a professional is important.

I was diagnosed as bipolar II a few years ago after being diagnosed with borderline for years. Fit every criteria of borderline, and it's a hard pill for me to swallow since it's so hard to treat and therapists often don't want me as a patient, I'm difficult. Labels. Anyway, I don't experience mania, just depression and crashing. Mood swings constantly, which make me feel crazy and like I'm 2 different people, I don't trust my judgment b/c it changes so often.

I do get some rushes of energy, usually at night, where I have plans to do all kinds of things, but then wake depressed and no energy to actually do them. Then feel like a failure, which feeds the depression more. The mood swings, depression, anxiety and rage completely interfere with every aspect of my life and always have. Too many mood swings, constant, and a lot of anger and impulsive issues. I burn a lot of bridges due to not following through with obligations b/c I can't get out of bed and can't deal with people. I lash out too often, quit jobs, have volatile relationships, etc. So it makes it hard to get references for jobs, etc., making me feel stuck where I am and even harder to move forward once I feel I can.

So that's my experience with being diagnosed as bipolar II, which maybe is part of my borderline. It's all labels and kind of messy, but they can overlap. I hope this forum can help you, let you know you're not alone and maybe get some insight as to what's going on with you. :)
 
JessisMe

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Hey, pupl3, welcome and I hope you get some info that helps, but yeah, seeing a professional is important.

I was diagnosed as bipolar II a few years ago after being diagnosed with borderline for years. Fit every criteria of borderline, and it's a hard pill for me to swallow since it's so hard to treat and therapists often don't want me as a patient, I'm difficult. Labels. Anyway, I don't experience mania, just depression and crashing. Mood swings constantly, which make me feel crazy and like I'm 2 different people, I don't trust my judgment b/c it changes so often.

I do get some rushes of energy, usually at night, where I have plans to do all kinds of things, but then wake depressed and no energy to actually do them. Then feel like a failure, which feeds the depression more. The mood swings, depression, anxiety and rage completely interfere with every aspect of my life and always have. Too many mood swings, constant, and a lot of anger and impulsive issues. I burn a lot of bridges due to not following through with obligations b/c I can't get out of bed and can't deal with people. I lash out too often, quit jobs, have volatile relationships, etc. So it makes it hard to get references for jobs, etc., making me feel stuck where I am and even harder to move forward once I feel I can.

So that's my experience with being diagnosed as bipolar II, which maybe is part of my borderline. It's all labels and kind of messy, but they can overlap. I hope this forum can help you, let you know you're not alone and maybe get some insight as to what's going on with you. :)
The symptoms you have described sound more characteristic of borderline to me.
 
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purpl3

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Hi. Maybe it would be better if you told us what you experience?
( Sorry this is kinda long )
Yeah, I can try. So, towards the end of January this year I felt really down, unmotivated, sleeping problems, I couldn‘t really bring myself to take care of myself ( showering etc. ), etc. Everything just seemed to take an enormous amount of energy. This lasted for about 1,5 weeks, I believe. What made me wonder was that this „phase“ ( idk ) just kinda ended very abruptly and I woke up one day, suddenly being very motivated to do my homework, school projects, and doing voluntary work. I had a lot of energy and suddenly got the urge to „get my life together“, I don’t know how to describe it. This sadly only lasted a few days and then I experienced the same symptoms I experienced in January. Hopelessness, Emptiness, etc. This was very severe for about a week and continued to be with me until the end of February, just less severe. The same thing continues over the first three weeks of March. I was very motivated to study for a lot of exams in advance, had a lot of ideas, and organized my life, again. Generally, I was just motivated in terms of school and also very energetic. One thing I also noticed recently, was that I went and talked to my parents, but like a lot. I normally talk to them rarely because of difficulties but at this time I just felt like sharing everything that went through my mind, idk. When I talked to them, it was also the case that i was very irritated every time they responded to me or talked to me in general. It was kinda like I talked.. and talked.. and talked.. and they listened, but when they really wanted to have a conversation I got really annoyed and irritated. It feels kinda mean saying it like that..
This „phase“ lasted a little longer, I sadly didn’t keep track of every day in March ( i have some kind of mood journal ) so I‘m not sure how long this situation lasted. After this „phase“ everything was quite normal, I had some bad days and also some good days, but generally, it was pretty normal. This went on until the last few days of March and the beginning of April, in which I fell back into one of those holes. Luckily, it was only bad the first few days and after that, it went back to normal pretty fast. Since then, nothing has happened and everything is alright I think. In those depressive episodes ( if I can call it that idk ), I also think a lot of suicide, since this „crash“ always happened very abruptly and made me feel like i hit rock bottom, idk.

When I looked up the symptoms, I concluded that it might just be depression and anxiety, switching places and making me feel like this. After some more research, I discovered bipolar disorder, but couldn‘t identify with it since I don‘t think that I experienced symptoms of mania. Reading more about the different types, I stumbled upon bipolar disorder type 2 and „hypomania“. What makes me question this, is that I still manage to live my life. Even in those depressive episodes I still somehow manage to attend school. Luckily I have online school, so I only have to join the zoom classes, and that's it. I still feel like shit during those times but considering I still manage to function in a way, I feel like it‘s not that serious? I also struggle with anxiety and panic attacks so the sudden urge to get my life together, do stuff, etc. could also just be my anxiety, telling me I need to get my shit together. I don‘t know, I‘m just really confused and can’t figure this out, which is pretty annoying.
 
Wishbone

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Well, we can't diagnose anything, although we can often see things and think we know what's going on, the mods will soon remind everyone not to diagnose.

The problem with any mood fluctuations is that when anyone searches for what it could be they will inevitably find Bipolar Disorder amongst the search results or suggestions. I would hazard a guess that for every 100 people that searches for this kind of thing only about 1 actually turns out to have Bipolar disorder. That's because mood changes are normal, other conditions can effect mood, as can physiological factors, and most things remain managable.
But Bipolar isn't just a mood changing from happy to sad, it is crushing depression in which you will not function at all and will likely try to take your own life, to, on the other end, Mania, which is a destructive frenzy. For some reason it has developed this glamour tag and to me it is far from glamorous, it's shit and I'd rather have most things than have this.
That being said, if you are having suicidal thoughts and you have anxiety too, it's definitely best to let your doctor know about this. I haven't asked about medications but they can also cause your mood to fluctuate and add some pretty horrible thoughts and anxiety etc. Are you on any medication or have you had any changes recently?
 
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purpl3

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Apr 27, 2021
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Well, we can't diagnose anything, although we can often see things and think we know what's going on, the mods will soon remind everyone not to diagnose.

The problem with any mood fluctuations is that when anyone searches for what it could be they will inevitably find Bipolar Disorder amongst the search results or suggestions. I would hazard a guess that for every 100 people that searches for this kind of thing only about 1 actually turns out to have Bipolar disorder. That's because mood changes are normal, other conditions can effect mood, as can physiological factors, and most things remain managable.
But Bipolar isn't just a mood changing from happy to sad, it is crushing depression in which you will not function at all and will likely try to take your own life, to, on the other end, Mania, which is a destructive frenzy. For some reason it has developed this glamour tag and to me it is far from glamorous, it's shit and I'd rather have most things than have this.
That being said, if you are having suicidal thoughts and you have anxiety too, it's definitely best to let your doctor know about this. I haven't asked about medications but they can also cause your mood to fluctuate and add some pretty horrible thoughts and anxiety etc. Are you on any medication or have you had any changes recently?
Yea, i know! I‘m talking to my doctor on thursday so hopefully i‘ll get some clarification. And no, I‘m not on medication.
 
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