Bipolar and working- it's freaking hard

[Art78]

Just wondering how anyone manages their job along with their moods?

I got into an argument with my boss last week. I came to work at the height of my mania. (Coming off risperdal ) Without sleep, and no sleep that night. I was emotional and out of control. She didn't want me to go home. Like I wanted to after I did the big orders. She pretty much said if I want to work there I have to put their business first. I told her I had to take care of my health. She told me she just wants me to change my mindset. They pulled me aside today and told me I've been unprofessional. I just don't know what to tell them. I just feel like I do my best, and it's not good enough. I never call in sick, maybe that's the problem- they see me out of control. Just a few weeks ago a girl called in sick because she didn't sleep all night!

 

[Tawny]

You just have to keep going in, keep trying, keep listening and saying sorry it is irritating how we all have to keep saying sorry even though we are trying so hard.

 

[markprosso538]

Hiya,

I had a simlar experience with risperdal and insomnia. I didn't think I was manic at the time, but looking back probably was. I would get some sleep here or there, if I got 3 hours I was stoked. Are you completely off or just tapering down? What's your dosage? Are you switching to another medication? I was actually worse when tapering then when I went completely off it. Everyone is different, my friend was on seroquel for 10 years and didn't really have any issues.

I guess it depends on how long and your dosage and that fun stuff, I was on it about 2 years or so and had severe insomnia for about a week or two, and hardly ever yawned, it was like I didn't need to sleep, but my mood was horribly erratic. I think the sleep derprivation amplifies everything. Is there any way you can work from home? Another option is to always talk to you dr and let him/her know what's going on.

All I did was try to stay as calm as possible, if you live with anyone, let them know what's going on with you so they can try to help. Anything relaxing is real good, music, movies, etc.

Good Luck!

 

[Art78]

I have been completely off for 3weeks. I was taking 1 mg for 11yrs! Withdrawal was hard. Everytime I lowered I would go manic. I had terrible nausea, which is only in the morning now. I had a terrible back ache for about a week. And was hardly able to stay awake (besides my mania.) I feel all around better. Sharper. I feel kind of smart again. I'm glad I got off. Everyone knows about me getting off. And I probably shouldn't have told my mom. My kids are 23, 20,17, and 11. So they are good at watching me, and were a little worried last week. I was very manic writing non-stop till 5am every night. I thought I had figured out so many mysteries and spiritual truths. Now I think I was just manic
My thinking is I was crazy on meds, with manias. If I go off what's the difference. I won't have drugs slowing my brain down and causing breast cancer. I will always have to manage my moods. I am learning to calm down and talk less! I have not had a bout of depression for 3 yrs. I then went off Wellbutrin and topamax (terrible drug!!! I went brain dead and lost lots of hair) I did start having terrible anxiety and panic attacks. But upped my lamictal and all that went away, even all the chest pains I was having. Luckily when I was going thru that craziness during work, my bosses were gone! I probably would have been fired! I had to leave work because I was hysterical pacing the shop and thought I was having a heart attack! I drove myself to immediate care.
I told my boss I wanted to stay, and that I can see some things I could be better at. Like not telling everyone everything I think! If I ever feel out of control again, I'm calling in sick!!

 

[markprosso538]

Gotcha, glad you're doing better. I would think you're through the worst of the withdrawal, I can't remember how long exactly it took me, I couldn't get right for awhile probably about 4 to 6 weeks. I was on 4 mg's for two and a half years. then 3 mg's for about another 9 months. When I tapered from 4 mg to 3 mg was the worst. After that point, I was pretty stable for the most part. It's weird I had the most issues then, I saw scared crapless to go from 1 to 0, but was okay.

At least you're off of work, that's a huge relief to not have to deal with all that stress. I was relieved to get off it too, my mind was so much clearer it was great.

 

[Zero One]

I manage it with meds and sometimes it's so awful. It his gotten better since they increased my second anti-psychotic. I think I need more.

 

[Art78]

Thanks Mark,
I feel pretty good. And it's good to know you made it through. Thanks for the reply. I'm curious what meds you take. I am sure I've spent yrs being over medicated. I was at one time on 5 bipolar meds at once. I'm really not that crazy! I was dealing with a psychotic bi-polar relationship. I had postpartum psychosis (key word postpartum) Everytime I've stopped a med, I felt better. I'm not saying I don't need drugs and of course they can help people. But can you be over medicated?? And what does that look like. I am now on just 200mg of lamictal. I know I need a mood stabilizer. And if I get depressed I may add another drug. I hate depression more than anything!!

 

[Art78]

Thanks Mark,
I feel pretty good. And it's good to know you made it through. Thanks for the reply. I'm curious what meds you take. I am sure I've spent yrs being over medicated. I was at one time on 5 bipolar meds at once. I'm really not that crazy! I was dealing with a psychotic bi-polar relationship. I had postpartum psychosis (key word postpartum) Everytime I've stopped a med, I felt better. I'm not saying I don't need drugs and of course they can help people. But can you be over medicated?? And what does that look like. I am now on just 200mg of lamictal. I know I need a mood stabilizer. And if I get depressed I may add another drug. I hate depression more than anything!! I started taking meds 11yrs ago.

 

[markprosso538]

gotcha, I just take meds for sleep (doxepin) after being up for days. I need to see a new dr, because the one I just saw last week barely gave me the time of day and gave me remeron which i tried explaining to him that I had taken many times without success.

I'm not sure now if I need to be on them, I had a manic episode lasting around 5 or 6 days out of the blue. I have been stable for almost a year. I'm debating on seeing another dr to see what he/she thinks.

Yea I absolutely think you could be over medicated. I'd say talk to your doctor if you feel like you are and maybe he/she will taper you back. Lamictal is a great med and I don't say that about a lot of meds, but has very little if any side effects. I hear you on the depression, the only good thing about depression is that I sleep a lot. I wish i could be manic but get a full 8 hours every night lol.

 

[Art78]

Lol, me too. I hope you can see a new Dr. You need to feel comfortable and be able to trust your dr. That is very important!!

 

[markprosso538]

for sure thank you!

 

[frisas45]

Your boss is awful af. Business first? Doesn't give a shit about human life? Getting mad right now.