J
Jormumgandr
New member
Hello everyone,
I'm a bit at a loss on how to proceed here having never participated in a forum.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 and/or schizoaffective disorders almost two years ago. This was due to a manic episode that lead to involuntary hospitalization and medication. Given the nature of my delusions at the time it was almost impossible to get treatment as an inpatient as I quite quickly became convinced that that I had broken the world by entering this state and that evil and divine entities where working through or controlling the people around me to keep me from being free, or trying to help me fix the broken universe.
Over time, after leaving, the hospital I began to be more forthcoming with my psychiatrist about my experiences but resistant to staying on medications as everything I was given had fairly bad side side effects that were often dismissed outright by Dr's as a heightened state of anxiety. At the time I was still manic and felt not the least bit anxious so I stopped medication outright for a few months without problem. But I also started a new job in that period which was quite stressful and lead to a panic attack and cognitive problems. I was convinced at this time give medication a serious effort. and have stuck with it for the past year. The panic attacks subsided after a while on the meds, but my cognitive problems remained and continued to get worse. I've recently been given a tentative diagnosis of severe sleep apnea that has sent me into a tailspin. I don't know whether the meds caused this or it is a long held condition. But I feel a severe lack of trust in the medical system to address it properly.
This may be to much for an introduction. But it felt necessary to explain why I'm here.
I'm a bit at a loss on how to proceed here having never participated in a forum.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 and/or schizoaffective disorders almost two years ago. This was due to a manic episode that lead to involuntary hospitalization and medication. Given the nature of my delusions at the time it was almost impossible to get treatment as an inpatient as I quite quickly became convinced that that I had broken the world by entering this state and that evil and divine entities where working through or controlling the people around me to keep me from being free, or trying to help me fix the broken universe.
Over time, after leaving, the hospital I began to be more forthcoming with my psychiatrist about my experiences but resistant to staying on medications as everything I was given had fairly bad side side effects that were often dismissed outright by Dr's as a heightened state of anxiety. At the time I was still manic and felt not the least bit anxious so I stopped medication outright for a few months without problem. But I also started a new job in that period which was quite stressful and lead to a panic attack and cognitive problems. I was convinced at this time give medication a serious effort. and have stuck with it for the past year. The panic attacks subsided after a while on the meds, but my cognitive problems remained and continued to get worse. I've recently been given a tentative diagnosis of severe sleep apnea that has sent me into a tailspin. I don't know whether the meds caused this or it is a long held condition. But I feel a severe lack of trust in the medical system to address it properly.
This may be to much for an introduction. But it felt necessary to explain why I'm here.
