bipolar and sex !

[shelly]

Hiya,
When manic I turn into a sex crazed woman does anyone suffer the same problem ??? The thing is when Im on a high I feel so good that I attract attention which is not good because I'm married.

 

[jax]

I have a very serious problem when I am high with hyper-sexuality. The really bizarre thing is that my entire life - up until I was first manic, I was frigid and very afraid of relationships. Actually I never have never had a relationship - or a boyfriend for that matter. When I am not high, I am back to my very frigid self. Terrified of any kind of intamacy. So it is very strange for me when I am depressed to look back at the totally different person I am when high or manic. It really is completely out of character for me to be interested in sex or men at all. It is hard to believe that this can happen - no men at all - then any and every man I can find when I am manic. WhenI am manic - it is just sex that I want - nothing else.

 

[shelly]

Thanks 4 posting bk

Thanks for replying I don't feel so alone now. Right now I'm suffering from depression managing to stay at work some how, but its not easy. I know this may sound crazy but I can't wait for my next high, When high I feel great and totally full of confidence. I am really productive at work as well. I wish I had someone to talk to about all this, My husbands been great but he doesn't really understand.

Thats the great thing about this site I don't feel so alone any more.

 

[jax]

Shelly, do you not have a nurse/cpn etc that you can talk to? I am very lucky in that I have a good support network - well - I did but that is changing as I lost my wonderful Pdoc a number of months back and have a dud Pdoc now. I have a fantastic nurse and may be losing her too.

Do you have friends that understand about your illness?

I have not worked for a long time due to my illness. I was just thinking last night that I have ruined my life and wasted it. I worked really hard in between hospitalizations in the state - to get my degree. Yet I have not used it. It was a waste of time.

Luckily, I rarely get the depressive side of my illness. I mainly cycle between different levels of high. I just wish I could get stable. The hyper-sexuality is always very prominent when I am high - I do unsafe things when I am high.

It's not crazy at all to wish for a mania - I often wish for a mania when depressed.

 

[shelly]

No I haven't got anyone to talk too. The people at work don't know about my illness, they do know about the break down I had a year ago because I had to have 11 weeks off work.
I attended the day unit and got an appointment to see a cpn but then I started feeling better, went back to work and cancelled the appointment. I think that is when the beginning of the high came and I felt good again.

unfortunately the high has followed a major low I started feeling really depressed at the end of Feb and have been seeing the doctor ever since.

She did put me on Citalopram but it did nothing for me. I'm now on Zoloft ( sertraline ). I'm just so anxious all the time, talking to people is a major fear I have.I have even started coming home at lunchtime because I can't face sitting in the staff room and talking to people.

I think its great you have a degree its brilliant. I was never very academic I wasted my time at school to busy fooling around with boys and bunking off. This is something I deeply regret. My mum always made me feel I was never good enough, she used to call me stupid all the time I guess I started to believe her.

I know what you mean about feeling like your wasting your life, I feel like that too alot lately. I keep thinking if I die tomorrow I will have spent years being depressed with so many regrets. I guess we have to try and think more positively

 

[jax]

Shelly, I didn't work in high school either. I didn't go most days as my mum made me go into work with her and help her out. I am not even sure that I passed any gcse's or cse's. I only went to university as I went to live in the States and I had to go to university to stay. I worked my back-side off to get my degree. My English was appalling - I didn't know how to do a lot of mathematics - so I had to my university courses a long with seeing different tutors who were helping me with grammar, how to write research papers etc.

It's a shame you have no one to talk to. Must be so tough. I am not allowed anti-depressants as my Pdoc thinks they will make me manic. TBH I don't really need them. My depressions last a short time.

My mum always told me I was stupid too. She tried to get me to leave school early to go out and work and bring in money for her to drink!! My graduation was the proudest day of my life as - I proved to her (me) that i wasn't stupid.