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Binge eating triggered by sexual harassment

tonysawicki

tonysawicki

Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2020
Messages
14
Location
Australia
(TW: binge eating, sexual harassment, underage abuse.)

Hello, everyone. I've been doing quite well, eating-wise, until very recently. I had to deal with an instance of online sexual harassment by a woman twice my age, and it brought up a lot of bad memories about past instances of sexual harassment, all committed by women/girls who were older than me. In some instances, women who were adults, while I was underage at the time of the harassment. They used another underage person to assault me, and in doing so, harassed both of us.

Confronting the seriousness of what happened in my past, and dealing with the unpleasantness of this latest inappropriate sexual comment, has been very hard. Food has felt comforting. The single thought that repeatedly came to me was "I deserve this comfort". And it did feel good to indulge. I managed to stop before I consumed all the food I bought, which is a victory. I ate much more than I needed, but I didn't eat everything.

I feel very depressed and angry, right now. Food seems so inviting and comforting, like it'll solve my problems. But I don't think it will. It'll be a short-term fix, at most.

I don't know how I'm going to manage over the coming days, but I'll find a way. I'm not suicidal or motivated to do anything similarly rash. I have to believe there is a path through this, even if I've not actually confronted the abuse before, and so it's all very raw and frightening to deal with now.

If anyone has any advice about how to stop turning to food as a source of comfort (in particularly dark times), I'd appreciate it.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
3,854
Location
England
I am so sorry you were abused and then this woman recently sexually harassed you. It is understandable you would turn to food. For me, having therapy taught me why I turn to food and I think vocalising the pain can stop the need to eat. Before I had therapy I think I was binging every single day. My memory is hazy.

You not beating yourself up for eating is great progress and you sound hopeful and positive about things. I think that shows how far you have come.
 
tonysawicki

tonysawicki

Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2020
Messages
14
Location
Australia
I am so sorry you were abused and then this woman recently sexually harassed you. It is understandable you would turn to food. For me, having therapy taught me why I turn to food and I think vocalising the pain can stop the need to eat. Before I had therapy I think I was binging every single day. My memory is hazy.

You not beating yourself up for eating is great progress and you sound hopeful and positive about things. I think that shows how far you have come.
Thank you very much for your kind words, I really appreciate you taking the time to reach out and reassure me. I've booked a session with my therapist to discuss what happened in more detail. I hope this will help.

I try not to blame myself for what's happening. It's not my fault that women did these terrible things to me, and it's not my fault that I am vulnerable. Binge eating hurts, it doesn't feel good... It causes nausea, and the more I do it, the more unappealing it is. The comfort is short-lived, and the regret feels terrible.

I was being strong before this incident, and I believe I can be strong again. I just... need to figure out how. Need to develop my strength. There's a sense of things being "unfinished", when it comes to sexual harassment. I don't think I'll ever get "justice" for what happened, and that hurts. I need to confront that, if I'm going to heal.
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
976
Location
nowhere
A lot of sexual harrassment leads to the person wanting to binge not only to numb their feelings but to hide their body (with weight) to protect themselves from any further sexual harassment.

Building confidence, speaking up, confronting the abuser.... that is how you can recover.
 
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