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Binge eating disorder: I need to feel like I'm not alone

P

Paulina24

New member
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Pavia
Hi, I'm 20. I've suffered from binge - eating disorder from a long time. Now I'm seeing a psychologist and a nutritionist. I lost a fair amount of weight in two months and I was happy about it. Then, something happened to me and I fell again into my old habits. Now I've gain around half that amount back and it sucks. People always tell me things like: "You just have to do sports and close your mouth". Or also my mum, that wants to help me, kind of reprimands me, like is my fault. Is it maybe my fault? Are you in a similar position?
I'll be thankful to anyone that answers me.
 
J

Jassy1981

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 12, 2020
Messages
64
Location
Wolverhampton
First of all it aint your fault neither think that i suffer with anorexia nervosa but there are times i binge it carnt be helped i try not to after i feel so guilty after i over exercise so you aint alone and this forum has help me in some ways as its surport i dont really get from my freinds and family.how long have you had your psychologist for?
 
J

Jassy1981

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 12, 2020
Messages
64
Location
Wolverhampton
Hi, I'm 20. I've suffered from binge - eating disorder from a long time. Now I'm seeing a psychologist and a nutritionist. I lost a fair amount of weight in two months and I was happy about it. Then, something happened to me and I fell again into my old habits. Now I've gain around half that amount back and it sucks. People always tell me things like: "You just have to do sports and close your mouth". Or also my mum, that wants to help me, kind of reprimands me, like is my fault. Is it maybe my fault? Are you in a similar position?
I'll be thankful to anyone that answers me.
I ment never not neither sorry
 
P

Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,508
Location
England. Derbyshire
Hi Paulina,
I’m sorry to hear you are suffering from binge eating
I understand the feelings as I also binge eat.
Many People don’t seem to realise it is an illness.
They tend to think of other eating disorders such as anorexia or
bulimia.
Binge eating has all sorts of negative comment such as “you are greedy”
“don’t eat between meals”, “what do you expect when you eat so much”etc

I hate myself after I binge.
I feel ill, my stomach hurts but I still carry on.
My weight is another problem, as was yours.

I’ve never received any real help, but the “help” that I personally found
ridiculous or insensitive.

I asked a psychiatrist if there was anything that would help.
Her answer was “don’t do it”

IWAS also told by another mental health professional to put my name
on “my foods” in the cupboard etc and not touch anhone else’s.

Then there were the glib things like putting sellotape over my mouth.

Eventually I stopped going out.
I felt so ashamed.
I can’t do much physically as I have arthritis, spondylosis and bursitis.
I’d probably eat instead of exercise anyway to be honest.

It isn’t your fault. It is an illness.
The fact you improved with the help of a psychologist and nutritionist
proves it.

I do hope you manage to lose some weight again but we need help to recover.

Take care,
Pollypop
 
E

EverydayPeople

Active member
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
33
Location
usa
Hi,
I binge eat. Its one of the reasons I joined this forum. For myself, I hold myself responsible for some of it. I know its a coping mechanism I've often used to deal with stresses I didn't/don't know how to handle. So I don't really Blame myself. But I do know that I keep making similar choices, and sometimes poor choices, and that utimateley I would like to choose to be healthier. I don't have anyone really badgering me about it, so I'm pretty lucky to be able to freely look at it without other's negative opinions or "help" interfering and weighing me down. For me, the fact is I have poor eating habits and I need to take steps to try to better identify and cope with my stresses in a more healthy way.
It sounds like you have been trying to find ways to tackle your underlying issues that may lead to binge eating with a psychologist and nutritionist. BRAVO! You're way ahead of me. I wish you continued luck in your process on helping yourself with whatever You would like to change, or not. Many challenges are a process of trial and error, repeated several times. So I hope you allow yourself some peace and grace when you feel like you're not succeeding.
But all this only applies if healthier eating habits is something that you want for yourself. You are a valuable person and worthy of love no matter if you binge eat or not.
Fun fact: My cat is also a binge eater, and I'm almost positive it is because of stress issues for him too. He has anxiety. I love his fluffy chub and wouldn't change him one bit, but the vet says I have to if I want him to live longer and be healthy. It has nothing to do with looks for him, just healthier and happier in his own body, which is a really nice way to focus on things for myself I think. Just incase that helps.
 
P

Paulina24

New member
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Pavia
First of all it aint your fault neither think that i suffer with anorexia nervosa but there are times i binge it carnt be helped i try not to after i feel so guilty after i over exercise so you aint alone and this forum has help me in some ways as its surport i dont really get from my freinds and family.how long have you had your psychologist for?
Hello Jassy, thank your for your words. I've been seeing my psychologit for over a year from now. I think she really helps me, but it's still very difficult, as you can immagine since you also struggle with an eating disorder
 
P

Paulina24

New member
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Pavia
Hi Paulina,
I’m sorry to hear you are suffering from binge eating
I understand the feelings as I also binge eat.
Many People don’t seem to realise it is an illness.
They tend to think of other eating disorders such as anorexia or
bulimia.
Binge eating has all sorts of negative comment such as “you are greedy”
“don’t eat between meals”, “what do you expect when you eat so much”etc

I hate myself after I binge.
I feel ill, my stomach hurts but I still carry on.
My weight is another problem, as was yours.

I’ve never received any real help, but the “help” that I personally found
ridiculous or insensitive.

I asked a psychiatrist if there was anything that would help.
Her answer was “don’t do it”

IWAS also told by another mental health professional to put my name
on “my foods” in the cupboard etc and not touch anhone else’s.

Then there were the glib things like putting sellotape over my mouth.

Eventually I stopped going out.
I felt so ashamed.
I can’t do much physically as I have arthritis, spondylosis and bursitis.
I’d probably eat instead of exercise anyway to be honest.

It isn’t your fault. It is an illness.
The fact you improved with the help of a psychologist and nutritionist
proves it.

I do hope you manage to lose some weight again but we need help to recover.

Take care,
Pollypop
Hello Pollypop, I'm sorry that you're in a similar position and thank you for your kind response. I also hate myself after binging and if I'm really trying to stop, but it's diffiult. I'd just like people to understand that we're going through something. Thank you very much, you're right, we have to take care of ourselves. That's the most important thing.
A hug,
Paulina
 
P

Paulina24

New member
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Pavia
Hi,
I binge eat. Its one of the reasons I joined this forum. For myself, I hold myself responsible for some of it. I know its a coping mechanism I've often used to deal with stresses I didn't/don't know how to handle. So I don't really Blame myself. But I do know that I keep making similar choices, and sometimes poor choices, and that utimateley I would like to choose to be healthier. I don't have anyone really badgering me about it, so I'm pretty lucky to be able to freely look at it without other's negative opinions or "help" interfering and weighing me down. For me, the fact is I have poor eating habits and I need to take steps to try to better identify and cope with my stresses in a more healthy way.
It sounds like you have been trying to find ways to tackle your underlying issues that may lead to binge eating with a psychologist and nutritionist. BRAVO! You're way ahead of me. I wish you continued luck in your process on helping yourself with whatever You would like to change, or not. Many challenges are a process of trial and error, repeated several times. So I hope you allow yourself some peace and grace when you feel like you're not succeeding.
But all this only applies if healthier eating habits is something that you want for yourself. You are a valuable person and worthy of love no matter if you binge eat or not.
Fun fact: My cat is also a binge eater, and I'm almost positive it is because of stress issues for him too. He has anxiety. I love his fluffy chub and wouldn't change him one bit, but the vet says I have to if I want him to live longer and be healthy. It has nothing to do with looks for him, just healthier and happier in his own body, which is a really nice way to focus on things for myself I think. Just incase that helps.
Hi Everyday People,
thank you for you response. I also have issues that I just can't face directly and eating is often a coping mechanism. I think I want to take care of myself and I know it's important, but you're right, we have to be kind to ouservels and allow ourselves some peace. You know, I often find difficult to believe that someone could love me because of me and my body. It's just really hard to believe for me. I'm 20 and I never even kissed someone. Maybe it's because I'm ashamed of myself and I act in a way that keeps potential love interests away, but I don't know. Anyway, I agree with you: the real goal is to feel healty and happy in our own body, just as your cat. I thank you again and I wish you the best.
Take care,
Paulina
 
J

Jassy1981

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 12, 2020
Messages
64
Location
Wolverhampton
Hello Jassy, thank your for your words. I've been seeing my psychologit for over a year from now. I think she really helps me, but it's still very difficult, as you can immagine since you also struggle with an eating disorder
I can imagine yes iv been seeing my therapist and psychiatrist only for a short time this time round as i kept going in and out of treatment but i still struggle alot
 
E

EverydayPeople

Active member
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
33
Location
usa
Hi Paulina,
Just to reassure you: love is out there for you if you want it. I've known plenty of couples in my day who came in all shapes and sizes, and had all sorts of different mental health capabilities. I am absolutely being honest with you here, and not just trying to paint a pretty picture. There are people out there who would like to date you, who you inturn might also like to date. 100% real. When you're ready I wish you big luck! It's a really neat thing to be looking forward to your first kiss, no matter what your age. I'm smiling thinking about it for you! Personally, I think the key to finding a good person to date is: someone who has similar morals to you, someone you have a good time with, someone who is respecful to you and that you are respectful towards, and someone who is also a real human being with flaws of thier own (because we all have them, right?). You might have some underlying issues that make it hard for you to date, so talking to therapist and learning to examine those issues might help you get closer to dating, if that is what you would like.
Good luck
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
2,684
Location
Nashua NH
Hi Paulina,
Just to reassure you: love is out there for you if you want it. I've known plenty of couples in my day who came in all shapes and sizes, and had all sorts of different mental health capabilities. I am absolutely being honest with you here, and not just trying to paint a pretty picture. There are people out there who would like to date you, who you inturn might also like to date. 100% real. When you're ready I wish you big luck! It's a really neat thing to be looking forward to your first kiss, no matter what your age. I'm smiling thinking about it for you! Personally, I think the key to finding a good person to date is: someone who has similar morals to you, someone you have a good time with, someone who is respecful to you and that you are respectful towards, and someone who is also a real human being with flaws of thier own (because we all have them, right?). You might have some underlying issues that make it hard for you to date, so talking to therapist and learning to examine those issues might help you get closer to dating, if that is what you would like.
Good luck
Great post! 👍👍👍
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
2,684
Location
Nashua NH
Hi, I'm 20. I've suffered from binge - eating disorder from a long time. Now I'm seeing a psychologist and a nutritionist. I lost a fair amount of weight in two months and I was happy about it. Then, something happened to me and I fell again into my old habits. Now I've gain around half that amount back and it sucks. People always tell me things like: "You just have to do sports and close your mouth". Or also my mum, that wants to help me, kind of reprimands me, like is my fault. Is it maybe my fault? Are you in a similar position?
I'll be thankful to anyone that answers me.
Why do a small minority of people binge eat while a larger majority don’t? Something must compel
those driven to binge eat, use drugs, etc...that others do not struggle with. Binge eating or just overeating is both a condition and a struggle.
I believe these struggles are genetic and less about choice. If something is a problem
for you it’s a problem for you. I think most people with eating disorders would choose not to have them if given the option. I think it’s good to acknowledge struggles in this area but we are limited in the extent to which we can take responsibility for it as a phenomena because it is simply how we are put together. We can try to modify the behavior we are compelled to but it will always be a struggle for us and the Struggle is REAL.
 
I

itsembarrassing

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Feb 29, 2020
Messages
76
Location
Ohio
I have binge eating disorder too. you are not alone. it isn’t crazy that we turn to something for coping. I wish I had more advice but I just wanted to let you know that. :grouphug:
 
imokay355

imokay355

Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Los Angeles
I keep telling myself that I will start to eat less or healthier-whatever. I keep falling back into bingeing. If not in excess, its that I'm not eating enough. I was excusing it for 'a bad day' for a while, but I can't be having 'bad days' nearly everyday. I don't know how to stop. I'm not overweight or underweight, but I just want to feel like I'm treating my body right. And this point I don't even know what I'm trying to cope with, but I feel like shit every time I eat
 
A

AnimalLover2620

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
22
Location
Cincinnati
PAULINA!

HOMEGURL! ME TOO!

Listen, one day at a time. Falling off the wagon? SO HUMAN AND REAL!!

We can not all be David $%^&*&^ Beckham. He has his problems too.

I know, it hurts so much, mentally AND PHYSICALLY ugh attached with guilt and shame?!
Throw us a bone!! To get out of the vicious cycle takes assertiveness, speaking up or knuckling down, setting boundaries with others who want to tell you negative or irrelevant bs, and work it for yourself!!

You deserve the feeling of self-control. I am working at it too!! The feeling of getting like, eeniest bit better occasionally... is a pat on the back!!

However, I AM getting help from my ADHD medication that is ALSO used to treat BED (Binge Eating Disorder)

YOU'RE OK. EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE IT WILL NOT BE. SILVER LININGS.
 
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