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Bi Polar disorder, do I really have it?

knight templar

knight templar

New member
Jun 15, 2010
I have been diagniosed with bi polar and I don't think I have it. I was messing up BIG time in my life. I would throw everything away in order to drink and party. I've always been raised in a life where things were really strict so as soon as I started going to college and my parents didn't really watch me as much I started partying and drinking. I wanted to do the military but my mom and my friend, Ivan (who has OCD), kept saying that I'm bi polar or something. That something was off with me. I went with the intention to prove them that nothing was wrong that I was fine because even now I feel fine.

I went to go see a therapist and he asked me a whole bunch of questions and found out two things about me: I am bi polar (according to him) and I am an alcholic even though I quit like 2 weeks before I went to go see him. If anything I thought I would have anger problems because I would get angry sometimes and I wouldn't be able to control it and just drive like 100 on the fwy because I was cut off or something. Anyway, that therapist reccommended me to go see a doctor (that I'm guessing he knew in order to reccommend me to) and that doctor did his own assement and asked a whole bunch of questions and also said I was bi polar. And he reccomended that I take Depakote.

I haven't felt any difference that I think I can't control by myself. Because before I went to go see my therapist, I stopped drinking, smoking, and had already made up my mind to go to school and get my act together. I did feel like I had an anger problem at most and I was getting back into boxing and weight lifting to dull my anger. I also started communicating more with my family, telling them how I felt and what I planned to do in life, instead of isolating myself, like I used to do before.

Before when I would isolate myself I would just feel so tired and just want to go to sleep. I never felt depressed or anything. Even now when I get sad or depressed it's never to the point of hurting myself or others. I just get sad and a little bit unmotivated but I know that if I talk to my brother that he would give me some advice and we would study together in order to keep me from being unmotivated from studying or doing anything.

My dad and other close friends (besides Ivan) think that I'm okay. They say that the reason why I partied like I did was because I am a young 19 year old and since I was brought up with so much strict rules that when I got the chance to go out and party I did and I did it hard because it was rare when I got the chance to go out. They think that I can get unmotivated about things but if I really tried and put my mind into things that I could do whatever I wanted to do. I also feel this way.

I will admit that I do have a strange sleeping pattern. But when I don't go to sleep I stay up playing xbox or watching T.V. I don't know I think it's kind of hard not to go to sleep when someone is watching T.V. or playing xbox. And on top of that I would go out at night to smoke. I feel that if anything it might've been my cravings for smoking that kept me up because even now I get cravings so bad that sometimes I can't go to sleep at night and I'm taking the meds now. By strange sleeping pattern, I mean some days I would rarely sleep and other days I would sleep all day. I would admit that I didn't feel tired on the days I didn't sleep but I think and feel that it was the drive to party that kept me up but I would feel myself having a hard time focusing on the drive over there. Or just focusing in general. I mean I would find myself day dreaming or zoning out when I didn't get any sleep because I wanted to be out there partying and drinking.

I really don't think I have bi polar. I have read the sympototes and I feel that all the things that show signs of me being bi polar can be explained but I mean I didn't get the chance to do that. It was just question after question and he said he knew I had bi polar and that was it. The next doctor let me explain myself a bit but he didn't really ask the same questions and he was kind of quick to put me on meds.

I've read that 80 percent of the american population is over medicated and just by glancing at these topic titles I don't think I have bi polar. But I'm not a doctor. I've read that bi polar starts occurring in your early teens. I am 19 and it could've been caught early but I don't feel like I have a bi polar disorder. I think I am a little messed up in the head like I give things too much thought instead of doing what I FEEL is right. And my dad did used to abuse my mom and I do have a hard time crying. But I don't think it's me being bi polar at all. I think it's just stuff that can be worked out if I just opened up more and said more about how I felt and followed my feelings more often.

I'm going to schedule another meeting to see another doctor and get another diagniose but I don't want him to say that I'm normal because I'm on meds because I, honestly, didn't feel any different on the meds. I haven't been out partying, even though I want too but I feel that I need to get ready for an up coming pre entrance exam for school so I know and feel like partying would be a bad thing. Maybe once I passed the pre entrance exam or finished the class.

But I decided to come on here because I want to know what you guys have to say. I want to know the opinion of complete strangers that actually have bi polar or have been in this similiar situation. So any ideas and opinions would be appreciated, don't be shy!!! :p


Well-known member
Jun 4, 2010
SW England
HI KT, Thank you for sharing your experiences wit us. It is quite normal for young people to have fun when they get the chance. I've arrived home with the dawn a few times!
I am not saying that you are bi-polar, but I had a girlfriend who was bi-polar. The thing about it that she got mood swings, tired to angry. On bad days my girl used to drive her car crazy. Fly into a rage over little things, but at other times great fun. She also would deny having bp.

Here in the UK also the doctors are so overworked that they are quick to give drugs, so it is best to get another opinion. It was great to hear you say " My dad and other close friends . . " . A lot of teenagers loose touch with their friends.

Best of luck.
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