Bfriend needs space, i need advice

K

Kat44

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Joined
Dec 11, 2018
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I'm completely new to this forum as well as subject. I would need some advise on my situation if possible. I've met a guy over month ago over internet, we spoke a while via wassup and we met shortly after. It's like we knew for ages, first meeting was so relaxed and nice, we got so many things in common, we could talk for hours. I'm now splitting form my husband and I'm in process seling/buying house for me and my son. His wife split with him 10 months ago, they will be selling house shortly and he got 2 sons so we're on the same page in life. He doesn't live in my town but we've been in touch everyday, seeing over weekends, we've met once together with our boys. He introduced me to his mum, told about me family and friends, I know it's fast but we both felt we just met in right moment and circumstances and connection we got is really deep and unusual.. He's told me how happy he is with me, that he now smiles, think of me all time and he's happy how he hasn't been for long time. I felt same way towards him, and was great. I must tell you a bit of his past story as here we're coming to the point. As I said his wife has asked him to move out 10 months ago from no any specific reason, after that for 2-3 months she was keeping him sort of around giving him hope for returning home. From what he and him mum said she was very controlling, manipulative person playing mind games with him for years being jealous for no reason , controlling money spending etc. There was no romance between them for past 3 years, just like friends under one roof looking after kids. He sees his kids regularly; sometimes she is in, most of the time she is away. He's moved on completely and is not coming back to her option; he's realized what she was doing to him for years and what damage in his psychic it's done. He's living with him mum since who helped him massively to get back on feet. When we met he's lost job and not long ago, he just found new on but after 2 days there he had to take day off due to his ankle very strong pain, he got it badly broken and was at home for 3 months ended up with screws inside. He went to doctors that day to get Naproxen but I don't know if he's back to work. I know he's taking some antidepressants but I don't know the name of it. And here my story begins. We spoke last time last week Wed, later for two days he didn't msg me, didn't answer my calls, I was very worried sth has happened to him. I called again Fri and he answered but he said he drives and call me back in 15min. He never did, I called he didnt pick up, I was shuttered really and after all he told me and how he opened to me I couldn't believe he dumped me or sth. I was crying all afternoon when I back home, obviously I've contacted friends for advice etc. I was thinking to go to see him but as it's hour drive so I couldn't go. Then in the evening he msg ne on wassup and this is what he said " hey you, I'm really sorry for the lack of contact...my heass been in dark place for couple of days and I needed to be by myself. it's not that I didn't want to msg you or anything, I just get this from time to time and I have to get out of hole I'm in by myself. It's not nice for people to see or be around as I can be nasty and mean without meaning to be. Things have been moving really fast between us and don't get me wrong, I ment every word. I'm just distancing myself as defence mechanism. After everything i've always found it hard to let pple in and I've let you in so quickly, quicker than I have anyone before.And that scares me, I can tell you're genuine person who cres and I haven't forgotten that, just for the minute i need space...not from you but from everyone. I'm not saying I want what we have to end, I just need my head straight, hope you understand. I'm sorry again for making you worry "

I've replied thank you for telling me this, Friday was very hard for me but I'm here for you, whenever you're ready. He msg back : thank you, that means a lot.

What should I do next? Has he dumped me but not saying that straight? I dont know him maybe long but after how he opened to me I believe he would tell me straight if that would be a case. I understand he might need space but im so shocked it all happened out of the blue. Anything really would be very helpful for me and thank you in advance.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
In this day and age of instant gratification, it is still wise to WAIT. Just simply wait. If he really wants you, he'll be back. He has specifically asked for space for himself. If you care about him, give the man what he needs.

So get busy doing stuff to take your mind off this.
 
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