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bf hearing voices telling him to cheat on me.. should i believe him.. very complicated story

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smallhuman

New member
Joined
Jan 30, 2018
Messages
2
bf hearing voices telling him to cheat on me.. should i believe him.. very complicated story

guys please i'd really appreciate opinions from people who has similar experiences of hearing voices.. i'm going crazy:sorry:.. i can't bear the thought of him lying and using hearing voices as an excuse.. but i have chosen to believe him all this time..

So a bit of background, we have been together for 7 years!!! this was 2 years ago and at that time we had constant arguments about his gaming addiction- he just finished college, wasn't picky in finding a job and i know he would just be playing during the day while i was out working. when i came home he would be still be playing for 3 to 6 hours while on a skype call with his gaming friends at the same time. i just felt so depressed he chose to spend time chatting and playing with these random people online rather than with his gf who was physically in the same room!

anyway i found out he texted an escort (although the messages were deleted i did a search online and the number matched with a escort contact.) another time there was a similar incident about a group sex party, again the messages were deleted but the record was still on his phone. it was not until 3 months later when i discovered. After so much tears and questioning he finally admitted asking for the price coz he heard voices telling him to do so while browsing those stuff online when he was bored. The voice was apparently there since he was a kid and he would get into fights with other kids when commanded. he said it sounds like a real person talking in the room and can be very loud and stressful.

he said he loved me deeply but we were always having arguments and so he had a thought of letting me go, and the only way it could happen is to cheat on me, because it is only then he would feel too guilty to keep me??!! At this point he was full of regret and said he could understand if i had to leave him, though he still denied having really engaged in those sexual activities ever because he was always able to fight back the voices with his own will.

I was completely heart broken and unconvinced about him hearing voices, but still, gave him a chance- i told him he would need to accept the fact that i will never be able to trust him fully. he was ok with that and said he will try to gain my trust back anyhow. months later the voices became less frequent after he made a deal with them apparently.

Almost 2 years on, we are so much happier now. I still get really depressed at times thinking about the past. I asked him the other day how the voices have been, he said they don't talk about negative things anymore and are quite rare these days, but he still thinks that the voices were not coming from himself as they told him things that he didn't know about.

I mean i believe 80% that he is not lying about hearing voices because he can talk about it into so much detail, but I don't know if he was really not in control when he attempted to cheat, like if the voices ordered him to try out all the things.. or.. was it his own will. obviously i'm not even convinced that he didn't do cheat in the end, let alone the possibility that he had already done it many times without me finding out.:low:

Please help me i wouldn't even tell my friends coz they will definitely not believe him and i feel its somewhat unfair to him coz its a really really personal matter if what he said was true. i told him i was worried the voices will turn aggressive again. we are arranging to see a psychologist for the first time
 
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smallhuman

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Joined
Jan 30, 2018
Messages
2
forgot to mention he also used to have hallucinations..also since he was a kid.. like when he walks past old empty-looking buildings he will see vivid images of people living there in the past, or even just walking on the streets he will wonder if the passersby was a real person or one of his hallucinations. he told me this at the same time when he confessed about voice hearing.. but he doesn't talk about it anymore and i am always afraid to ask him about it as it might become worse or come back, if the problem has resolved already.
 
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Twokiwisandabanana

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 23, 2016
Messages
811
Well he texted an escort?
That would be a deal breKer for me sorry I think you should dump him so fast his head spins.
If you don't have trust what do you have?
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Forum Safety Team
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May 6, 2017
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Sheffiield
It's really good he's seeing a psychologist, medication will dull the voices if not shut them up completely and stop the visual hallucinations. It sounds like he's making the effort in order to be with you.
 
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