Benzos

[BadBuddha]

I wake up feeling lousy every morning, take around 50 mg. diazepam and 3 mg. Xanax and feel better.I've been addicted to these things for several years and feel bad anxiety without them. The only good thing is that they keep me off the drink, which has nearly killed me before. And they deal with my social anxiety. They stop me feeling lonely and miserable. They're not prescribed and I take Mirtazapine for depression.
Anyone got any suggestions?

 

[Apotheosis]

I wake up feeling lousy every morning, take around 50 mg. diazepam and 3 mg. Xanax and feel better.I've been addicted to these things for several years and feel bad anxiety without them. The only good thing is that they keep me off the drink, which has nearly killed me before. And they deal with my social anxiety. They stop me feeling lonely and miserable. They're not prescribed and I take Mirtazapine for depression.
Anyone got any suggestions?

Diazepam detox is very hard; & potentially dangerous. I have known people to fit coming off them. I'll be candid - it sounds like addiction, as you have said; & substitution of one drug for another. I've been there too. There are ways of getting clean; by not the only way; but an effective one is 12 step recovery. It is the method I used & the only thing which worked for me -
http://www.ukna.org/

 

[Dollit]

Both my parents took Benzos in similar quantities and weaned themselves off them. Hard going - 1/4 tablet a day and it took months. But it is dangerous and you are best off with help. Twelve step is good and it gives support in the early days that you really need.

 

[ms_P]

Hi BB,
How's it going?

Benzo's are an addiction that need supervision to detox from, initially anyway.

I came off of alcohol & valium at the same time. The detox and rehab clinic I went to used valium to help people come off alcohol and I went absolute mad having to come off both. I've never been sicker.
But I did it and have absolutely no regrets. It's one of the few good things I've done for myself in my life.

I was taking upwards of 100mg of valium daily, prescribed my my pdoc at the time until he retired with his own drug problems.
Nobody's immune.

Good luck and take good care.

 

[daisychains]

I detoxed from benzos and alcohol with no help, I was awful but worth it. The social anxiety will not be any better while taking them, honestly it's probably part of the problem, and for a few months after stopping benzos you will probably feel more anxious than you were originally, but it takes time determination, courage and life is so much better without them. Give the fog time to lift and the world looks like a different place. See your Dr, be honest and get some help, they are not nice drugs to be on or to come off. Good luck.

 

[BadBuddha]

Thank you all for your advice and information; it really is helpful.
To be honest, I have a problem with going through my doctor. I already have a vast medical file based on my alcoholism and depression and I don't want to add benzo addiction to that. I'm a teacher in my 50's and may have to be looking for a new job in the next couple of years (nothing to do with me, I have to say; just another possible pointless reorganisation). Most employers need an okay medical report - I'm diabetic as well! I know they're bad,bad,bad but benzos won't kill me, don't stop me doing my job well and they keep me off the drink, which will kill me if I start again.
I'm already on Mirtazapine, which reminds me, has anyone heard of or suffered from Dysthymia, a kind of low-level chronic depression? After much research I've decide that that's what I've got and when I see the doctore on Friday I'm going to ask for Sertraline to treat it. Does it exist or is it one of those conditions invented by drug companies to sell more pills?
Thanks again for all your suggestions and experiences. 2009 is my year for sorting myself out so all ideas are very gratefully received!

 

[daisychains]

Hi badbudda, I know what you mean about going to the Dr, I suggested that because depending on your level of addiction they can be dangerous to come off, you could try a tapering programme and wean yourself off. If you want help with that you could try benzobuddies (google it) and you might find the help and support you need there.

I don't have much knowledge of dysthymia I understand what it is and what it means and I know how hard suffering with depression is. I have been on setraline before and I personally found it useful, it didn't cure anything but it did mask the symptoms to the extent that I couldn't really feel much, don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing for you, but when I was so depressed all i wanted was not feel anything, all the pain inside to go away and it did that.

Good luck with everything x

 

[keepsafe]

Hey Badbudda,

I'm on max mertazapine 45mg and sertraline together, I also have a script for diazepam (bad spelling).

How did it go at the docs - did you get the sertraline? Normally so my G.P says they wouldn't put you on two anti-d's together from the same group - but hey look they do!

Are you wanting to ditch the benzo's? I only have them for if and when I need them - Which is when the aggitation gets really bad, but I have been a little better on the combination I think.

 

[trainwreck]

benzos blue cobra

benzos saved my life, i would pace the floor shakeing an not be able to sleep.lorazepam the blue cobra as i call it,is the best benzo today, it far hammer,s the rest , but it comes at a price addiction if not carful, you no i used to be on 10mg a day , i am still on 4mg after ditching 6mg over a short time not because i wanted a fast tapper i was only aloud 4mg, ditching the 6 was torture behond belief , an im in no hurry to ditch the last 4mg believe me

 

[BadBuddha]

Sertraline and Mirtazapine

Thanks for asking, Keepsafe, the doctor was fine. I'd done a lot of research on dysthymia (chronic moderate depression) and on all the anti-depressants. From what I've read, Mirtazapine is an atypical anti-d. (a NaSSA or Noradregenic and Specific Serotonergic Antidepressant, which means nothing at all to me but it might to you) but Sertraline is an SSRI. Someone in the US is trying to patent a pill containing both; they claim that each one cancels the side-effects of the other.
I took my first Sertraline this morning and have felt pretty good all day but it can't be the result of just one dose. I think I get stressed out at the thought of seeing the doctor and very relieved when it's all over and I've got what I wanted. It just felt like a positive step towards sanity but then so did Mirtazapine for a few weeks. If I've diagnosed myself properly it should work. By the way, the doctor gave me a questionnaire to see how depressed I was and I came out as severely depressed. I've done about 4 tests I've found on the web and only come out as moderately depressed. I did tell him that if I was that severely depressed I probably wouldn't have got out of bed.
He offered to send me back to Mental Health Services but that would mean time off work and seeing psychiatrists who I think are poisonous and useless (I have seen at least 16 of them so this isn't a completely irrational opinion).
I also spoke to my son who's 20 and got me into hospital 18 months ago and worries about me a lot. I said at least I'm doing something. He should worry more if I don't do anything.

 

[bluenomore]

I had been prescribed a small dose of Alprazolam (Xannax) for anxiety, as well as AD's. Problem was, because they helped I started self-medicating. I was living in Thailand and could easily source them. I started taking up to 120mg of Xannax a day and pretty soon they seemed to having the opposite effect - I was feeling more and more anxious.

After returning to England, my GP switched me to Diazepan (valium), and I gradually reduced (at my request) the dosage over several months.

That was about 8 months ago, and unfortunately the anxiety has returned big time. I'm pretty sure my doctor wouldn't put me back on them as I've had drug addiction probs in the past.

I would say though that it's easy for them to become a crutch.

Good luck,

x blue

 

[trainwreck]

blue

you are right my friend ,i dont want to ditch my last 4 one mg lorazepam . why go through the pain only to need them again later. they are a crutch very true .

 

[BadBuddha]

That's a lot of xanax! Try to get referred to Mental Health services- you shouldn't have to put up with bad anxiety. I've had the same issue, being a really bad alcoholic, which makes doctors unwilling to prescribe anything like benzos. You just have to persuade them that you're serious about getting straight. You might find some antidepressants help with anxiety; I did a lot of resaerch on the internet (including this site) before I found the right one (or I think it's the right one, anyway).
What I'm trying to say is, you might have to keep moving round the health system and trying different drugs, different doctors (I've always found GPs much more sympathetic than psychiatrists) and other therapies. You have to be definite about what you want. A lot of doctors like it when someone brings a difficult problem like yours with an answer as well. I diagnosed and prescribed for myself at the doctors yesterday and that worked.
Good luck anyway. Mental health is hard work but research may well pay off.

 

[lucid scream]

detoxing from klonipin was the hardest thing i ever chose to do. was sick for 9 months.

 

[mudslides]

diazipam (which i really cant spell) is so bloody bad. I got it prescribed to me and totally abused it. Does anyone actually only take one when it says to take one? My only way of coping is locking myself away, which is not really very helpful =(

 

[Dollit]

I only take one when it says take one. I get 56 a year and sometimes I have one or two left over.

 

[mudslides]

wow, you have more discipline than me. I end up downing half of a pack at a time.

 

[Dollit]

Half a pack would just knock me out and I can use a sleeping pill for that!

 

[mudslides]

haha ok thats slightly less discipline impressive

 

[Dollit]

Actually it's not less discipline because I only take medication when I have to take it not to disappear from the world. I'm reknowned for my discipline in my consultant's office!