Can relate, my sister also has BPD.
Hi,
oh how familiar this sounds! My sister was diagnosed about fifteen years ago, she has kids and her partner was off the scene. She was living in her own place though. And before she was diagnosed it became more and more chaotic.
It may be hard that she is living with your mum and next door, but for the sake of the kids this is a very good thing indeed. I dont know what ages they are, but Alex's were young when she became manic (5, 3 and 2) and it escalated into psychosis before she was finally sectioned.
I hate to say this, but something not many people think about is how vulnerable kids of a single parent with mental illness are. They are a magnet to pedophiles in the community, we had this problem. So thank god you and your parents are there to protect them.
As for your sister, I'm sorry to say, but in my experience there is nothing you can do. Its hell. I tried to talk to Alex, but she couldnt hear me, I just got my head bitten off for my trouble. You cant get an irrational person to see reason, thats at the heart of the nature of the problem.
In our situation, things had to get much much worse before a diagnosis was made and she could be stabilised. She yo-yo'd wildly for years, but, good news, has been stable now for a few years (mostly but who's perfect?) understands and manages her illness better now, and just landed a brilliant job!
Keep centered in your heart and your love for your sister. Its the best way of getting through this.
My parents battled with her, I took the stance of not argueing with her, but gently supporting and getting her confidence. As a result I was still able to influence her a little bit when it came to making healthy decisions. I allied myself with her as her sibling. It still works when the chips are down.
Good luck. I hope things resolve sooner rather than later.
cloudberry
Maggie.
