B
bluebell24
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2009
- Messages
- 106
Hi everyone,
I know this is possibly more friendship related but I really wanted a perspective from others with bipolar.
I've read lots of posts and so realise that I'm not alone in wondering 'what is the real me' post-diagnosis. I'm beginning to get lots better and feeling a wee bit more confident about being my happy self, even though still experiencing depression.
But I suppose the nearer I get to feeling 100% the more I am wondering about two things; how I feel okay about being myself without fear that if I'm happy that's a sign I'm getting too happy, and how I manage making new friends.
It's not as though I have a host of people queueing up to be my friend but my husband and I have relocated recently, and I know that as we begin to properly settle into new jobs, new places to live & socialise etc we will get talking to people. I just get really scared of the prospect of making friends.
The problems I had when ill recently included becoming over dependent on a friend to the point of obsessive communications and placing too much responsibility on that person for my well-being. I don't think that would happen again but I guess I'm a little bit nervous as a result. I think I must be a better person to know now because I am finally getting treatment and dealing with things so much better so I know that's good.
But I'm just scared ... I'm not sure if I'm making any sense but I just have this general nervousness about relaxing around other people, being brave enough to be myself and finding a balance between putting up massive barriers and not completely overstepping boundaries.
Even though I know I was very much in the wrong in the friendship that went awry when I was ill, that person made me feel okay to be utterly myself and liked me for me when reasonably well.
Sorry, this is rambling but I am just trying to get a measure of other peoples' experiences I suppose. Friendship really matters to me; I feel I still have a lot to give to other people and miss having very few people to share with and having mutually enjoyable/relationships with!
I know this is possibly more friendship related but I really wanted a perspective from others with bipolar.
I've read lots of posts and so realise that I'm not alone in wondering 'what is the real me' post-diagnosis. I'm beginning to get lots better and feeling a wee bit more confident about being my happy self, even though still experiencing depression.
But I suppose the nearer I get to feeling 100% the more I am wondering about two things; how I feel okay about being myself without fear that if I'm happy that's a sign I'm getting too happy, and how I manage making new friends.
It's not as though I have a host of people queueing up to be my friend but my husband and I have relocated recently, and I know that as we begin to properly settle into new jobs, new places to live & socialise etc we will get talking to people. I just get really scared of the prospect of making friends.
The problems I had when ill recently included becoming over dependent on a friend to the point of obsessive communications and placing too much responsibility on that person for my well-being. I don't think that would happen again but I guess I'm a little bit nervous as a result. I think I must be a better person to know now because I am finally getting treatment and dealing with things so much better so I know that's good.
But I'm just scared ... I'm not sure if I'm making any sense but I just have this general nervousness about relaxing around other people, being brave enough to be myself and finding a balance between putting up massive barriers and not completely overstepping boundaries.
Even though I know I was very much in the wrong in the friendship that went awry when I was ill, that person made me feel okay to be utterly myself and liked me for me when reasonably well.
Sorry, this is rambling but I am just trying to get a measure of other peoples' experiences I suppose. Friendship really matters to me; I feel I still have a lot to give to other people and miss having very few people to share with and having mutually enjoyable/relationships with!